Wednesday, March 30, 2011

15 Embarrassing Movie Roles Of The Day

Hey, you gotta start somewhere. Some of these aren't so bad. I liked Nic Cage in Valley Girl. They forgot Leo DiCaprio in Critters 3.

From Popcrunch--list, copy, pics, the whole she-bang.


BENICIO DEL TORO
Big Top Pee Wee




Generally, actors are hired because they are handsome. Unfortunately, they sometimes get a role that requires them to look like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit all the branches on the way down. Maybe it’s because of his naturally hairy face that Del Toro was tapped to play Duke the Dog-Faced Boy in Big Top Pee-Wee.


JEFF GOLDBLUM
Death Wish



You know it’s a depressingly bad role when your character doesn’t even get a name. Goldblum played one of Charles Bronson’s targets in the famous Death Wish movie. He sort of looks like a mean, weird version of Jughead in this scene.


JENNIFER ANISTON
Leprechaun

Leprechaun was made in 1993 and starred Jennifer Aniston. It’s unlikely after making gagillions of dollars on Friends, she would’ve agreed to this horror movie full of Irish stereotypes and questionable puppetry. Aren’t leprechauns supposed to be friendly and bring you sugary cereal anyway?


MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation




You’d think with a name like “Vilmer Slaughter” McConaughey would be playing a wrestler or some king of daredevil stuntman. Unfortunately, this role was part of Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. It’s kind of like Star Trek: The Next Generation, only instead of a bald spaceman exploring the galaxy, a guy with a leather face explores people’s internal organs with a chainsaw. As a bonus, McConaughey plays a murderous trucker with a cybernetic leg. Shakespeare it is not. (Yes, that is Renee Zellweger as one of the screaming teenagers.)


SIR BEN KINGSLEY
The Love Guru

The name of this character alone should’ve sent Kingsley back to his agent with a baseball bat to beat some sense in him. How embarrassing is it not only to play a part in a painful comedy like the Love Guru, but to become a parody of yourself after playing Mohandas Ghandi in an Oscar-winning movie? It would be like Dustin Hoffman appearing in an 80′s teen sex comedy sometime after his role in The Graduate or Mike Myers ruining the Graduate. Leave the real actors alone Mike.


NICOLAS CAGE
Valley Girl



The term “Valley Girl” might’ve been hip and trendy back in 1983 when they made the movie Valley Girl. Nicolas Cage doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty playing a crazy vampire guy, drunk, or criminal with his face torn off. But in this one, he’s the handsome young punk that wins the girl with dialogue so horrible, you may throw yourself in a valley rather than hear anymore. You know a movie is in trouble when the film makers tout the music in it.


See the rest at Popcrunch.

6 comments:

  1. Valley Girl was actually a pretty good film. I think most film roles for Cage lately have been more embarrassing than VG.

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  2. I suppose when you first start as an actor, you're grateful to get any part you can. Matthew McConaughey has never impressed me much in any of his roles.

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  3. Valley Girl was one of his BEST movies....best line from Nick///"Like F*ck of Julie - totally!" (sarcasm) Brilliant.

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  4. Needs more Batman and Robin.

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  5. Hey! I loved Valley Girl! If I was Nic Cage back then, I'd be more embarrassed by my bad teeth than the movie.

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