Monday, February 28, 2011

Worst-Dressed Oscar Attendees Of The Day

At least according to MSN's Wonderwall. Whoever they are. I mean, besides a bunch of people named after a bad Oasis song.

Country Wrong: GWYNETH PALTROW arrives on the red carpet slightly wrinkled from a long shift warbling on the Lido deck of the Starship Enterprise. The multi-hyphenate-determined actress shimmers in a non-stick metallic Calvin Klein column accented with a Louis Vuitton brooch on her hip. Though the gown is fine, it's not fabulous, with her trademark buttery-blonde locks pushing her over into worst territory. Gwyn, unhand that flat iron and give that mane back to Janice from the Muppets, because it's looking more listless than Charlie Sheen after an extended porn star bender.

Color us disappointed that HELENA BONHAM CARTER opted to keep the crazy in check for the Academy Awards. Her reason for toning it down makes perfect sense: The night should be about the films, not the fashions. But we were still crushed she didn't arrive (barely) wearing an Edward Scissorhands (as seen through the looking glass) original. What we got instead is a relatively tame Union Jack garter belt and a strappy, black velvet creation from Colleen Atwood, who took home a costume design award for Alice in Wonderland (directed, of course, by HBC's significant other, Tim Burton). But we should have known that Helena would come through for us in the end. Literally. Seems she specifically selected this turn-of-the century (as in the 19th century) gown because it added some heft to her hiney.

In her shameless campaign to nab the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her gritty performance as Marky Mark's mother in The Fighter, MELISSA LEO took out full-page ads that featured her posing in a full-length fake fur coat. In what we now recognize as a Pollyanna-ish burst of naiveté, we figured that Tauntaun-shorn shag carpet would mark her sartorial low point. We were wrong, because in between her tireless self-promotion, Melissa has been hard at work glue-gunning lace doilies onto shards of broken mirrors from Caesars Palace, although she does deserve credit for pretending not to notice that she still has a hanger stuck in the back of her high-collared gown.

See Jennifer Hudson, Sharon Stone, Marisa Tomei and the rest here.


  1. I like the top part of Marisa Tomei's dress, but the bottom half with all that ruffled tulle looks kind of like an over-sized tutu that fell to the ground. It seems like it would be hard to walk in that without tripping over it too.

    I have always liked her and think she's gorgeous. She doesn't look like she has aged a minute in the last 20 years.

  2. I love Marisa Tomei. She looks better now than she did when she was 25.

    HBC looks more and more like Bellatrix Lestrange every day.

  3. She does, you're right. Very scary looking! To look at her, you would half expect her to pull out a wand and cast a spell.

  4. HA HA HA! :D

    Magical too, I bet.

  5. What about Kathryn Bigelow. Look at it. Hideous...

  6. Daisy - Yes, I can make it disappear on command.

  7. I like the old Hollywood glamour dresses. Like Jennifer Hudson, Reese Witherspoon, and Halle Berry were wearing. Those styles are so becoming, especially on women with curves.

    I love Marisa Tomei and she looked lovely. From the knees up!

  8. Gwyneth looks like the Tin Man. "If I only had a heart!"



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