Friday, February 25, 2011

Popbitch's Oscar Picks 2011

From Popbitch.com.



The Oscars are coming up, and the nominations are no surprise. It’s the usual crop of heavily promoted ‘legitimate’ movies up for all the awards, with scant regard to the fact that other films were actually released last year too.

Not being ones to let the little guy go unnoticed, we’ve compiled our own list of people and films who are just as deserving of an Oscar as ‘English-actor-playing-aristocracy’ in Serious-Film-About-Overcoming-Adversity.



BEST ACTOR
Danny Trejo -- Machete
Just because it’s Danny Trejo and he deserves an Oscar

BEST ACTRESS
Kelly Hu – The Tournament
Mainly because she’s really hard and an Oscar statuette would probably double up as a neat weapon if anyone jumped her.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Steven Seagal -- Machete
Again, it’s about time.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Ashley C. Williams -- The Human Centipede
She was the one in the middle -- give her a break.


BEST COSTUMES

Michael Wilkinson -- TRON: Legacy
Because all-in-ones have never been so cool.


BEST DIRECTOR

Alexandre Aja -- Piranha 3D
Because he managed to treat the subject matter with the respect it deserved. In the hands of a lesser director it could have been exploitative.

BEST DOCUMENTARY
The Lovers’ Guide 3D -- Igniting Desire
It’s in 3D -- so now it’s even easier to learn how to have sex!

BEST EDITING
The BBFC -- I Spit on Your Grave & A Serbian Film
For sheer hard work.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
22 Bullets [L'immortel]
Because it was the best foreign language film made this year. Well it had loads of gunfights in it anyway.



BEST ORIGINAL SONG
‘Frozen Skies’ from Mega Piranha, by Tiffany
We haven’t even heard it yet, but they went to the effort of recording an original song for a film called Mega Piranha -- that’s enough for us.

BEST PICTURE
Machete
Obviously.

BEST SOUND MIXING
The robot dance in Step Up 3D
Because it makes our bums feel all funny.



BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Machete
“Machete don’t text.”

We’ve emailed the Oscars people with our list and a five quid bribe to change the nominations. Fingers crossed.


See more at Popbitch.com.


8 comments:

  1. The Tron all-in-one comment made me laugh. When I hear all-in-one, I don't think "cool." I think of one of two things; either the bright orange and white Seussian cat-in-the-hat-like jumpsuits worn by the prison inmates who do community service work in the park, or the green Carhartts coveralls my Dad used to wear to keep warm in the winter when he was working on something out in the garage.

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  2. Daisy, my grandmother's neighbor, Mr. Jansen, wore those every day of his life. I'm not sure I ever saw him in anything else. He didn't really work on stuff, though. Maybe they were comfy. Or just don't require much thinking.

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  3. Ha ha ha! Mr. Jansen wasn't a slave to fashion, I guess. :-)

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  4. Seems like "Please take it from behind" and the Detox Patch should team up. I'd buy it.

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  5. I'd have to vote for any movie that "made my bum feel all funny" and who could say no to a documentary featuring 3-D sex?

    My grandpa wore those all-in-one coveralls. He could put them on by himself but he couldn't take them off without my grandma's help. Come to think of it, he never wore them after Sloppy Joe night.

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  6. Love those uni-suits. I'd never wear one.

    Machete has my vote. Haven't seen it, yet, but yay, Machete!

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  7. BEST ACTOR
    Danny Trejo -- Machete
    Just because we don't want to be the ones to tell Danny Trejo that he lost.

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  8. Amen to that. He's a scary mo-fo even without the machetes. (And, as many of you know, a proud member of the LOTD Celebrity Skin Club.)

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