Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Misheard Lyrics Of The Day

Some selections from The Archive Of Misheard Lyrics (KissThisGuy.com), a site that invites readers to send in their misheard lyrics and any amusing details about the error. The URL is based on the frequently misheard lyrics of Jimi Hendrix's Purple Haze: "'scuse me, while I kiss the sky."

Here are 21 of my favorites. The site has hundreds more, so check it out.

Song: Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer
Misheard Lyric: Might as well face it, you're a dick with a glove
Correct Lyric: Might as well face it, you're addicted to love
Story: I thought that it was a song about Michael Jackson and I asked a friend if he had heard this song. He had me recite the lyrics. He laughed at me for days.

Song: Centerfold by J Geils Band
Misheard Lyric: My anus is the center hole
Correct Lyric: My angel is a centerfold
Story: Actually, I read this misheard lyric in a magazine while on lunch break one day. I showed it to a co-worker and we laughed so hard that he started crying and I fell out of my chair and almost pissed myself. I just want to know how many holes this person has.

Song: Losing My Religion by R.E.M.
Misheard Lyric: Let's pee in the corner, let's pee in the spotlight...
Correct Lyric: That's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight...

Song: Bohemian Rhapsody
Misheard Lyric: The algebra has a devil for a sidekick, heeeee...
Correct Lyric: Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me...
Story: Singing at the top of my lungs (off key & voice cracking) into my boyfriend's ear. When he recovered from his attack of hysteria, he told me the real words. Think I had a problem with math? I still sing this version.

Song: Summer Of '69 by Bryan Adams
Misheard Lyric: Got my first real sex dream, I was five at the time, played it till my fingers bled, was the summer of '69
Correct Lyric: Got my first real six-string, bought it at the five-and-dime, played it till my fingers bled, was the summer of '69
Story: I think this version is much more interesting.

Song: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
Misheard Lyric: Here we are now, in containers...
Correct Lyric: Here we are now, entertain us...

Song: Blinded By The Light by Manfred Mann (originally by Bruce Springsteen)
Misheard Lyric: Wrapped up like a douche, another rumor in the night
Correct Lyric: Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night
Story: I kept thinking to myself....what the hell does a douche have to do with rumors??? I asked a friend and she laughed so hard she turned purple.

Song: Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi
Misheard Lyric: You got to hold on to what you got, it doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not
Correct Lyric: You got to hold on to what you got, it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not

Song: Gettin' Jiggy With It by Will Smith
Misheard Lyric: Kick a chicken with it
Correct Lyric: Gettin' jiggy with it
Story: My cousin heard me singing it and died laughing, then she clued me in to my dismay, all that time I thought I had the words right but didn't understand the meaning, like it was a slang meaning. Boy did I feel stupid.

Song: Blowin' In The Wind by Bob Dylan
Misheard Lyric: The ants are my friends, they're blowin' in the wind, the ants are a-blowin' in the wind
Correct Lyric: The answer, my friends, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind

Song: Mysterious Ways by U2
Misheard Lyric: Shamu, the mysterious whale
Correct Lyric: She moves in mysterious ways

Song: Ghostbusters by Ray Parker, Jr.
Misheard Lyric: Who ya gonna call? Those bastards!
Correct Lyric: Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
Story: It was my dad, actually. He phoned a radio station to complain that they were playing this!

Song: Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver
Misheard Lyric: West Virginia, mount yer momma
Correct Lyric: West Virginia, mountain momma
Story: I Heard the remix for 2 weeks on holiday, and decided to sing it at Karaokee in our hotel. Unfortunately this was a family event, the mike was cut, and I was informed that this kind of behaviour would not be tolerated.

Song: Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer
Misheard Lyric: Might as well face it, you're a dickhead in love
Correct Lyric: Might as well face it, you're addicted to love

Song: Desperado by The Eagles
Misheard Lyric: You've been downright offensive for so long now
Correct Lyric: You've been out riding fences for so long now
Story: It was actually my wife who was singing it and I've made her life misery ever since, which is easily 20 years ago.

Song: Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Misheard Lyric: I want a duck shaped like a triangle, you give a toaster to Bob
Correct Lyric: I want to fuck you like an animal, you get me closer to God
Story: I can't take credit for this moment of stupefying adolescent brilliance: it was the responsiblity of a long-lost friend at a summer camp. I think his rendition says much about the atmosphere of "alternative" rock in the mid-'90s, or something.

Song: We Build This City by Starship
Misheard Lyric: We built this city on the wrong damn road
Correct Lyric: We built this city on rock and roll
Story: This is what my friend Rachel thought it said

Song: My Hero by Foo Fighters
Misheard Lyric: There goes my hero, he's old and hairy
Correct Lyric: There goes my hero, he's ordinary
Story: This one comes courtesy of my grandma. Bless her, she's a little deaf.

Song: Can't Stop by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Misheard Lyric: Can't stop the ferrets when they need food
Correct Lyric: Can't stop the spirits when they need you
Story: i was singing it pretty loud at a party and its safe to say im still trying to live it down

Song: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC
Misheard Lyric: Dirty deeds and they're done with sheep
Correct Lyric: Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap

Song: Like A Virgin by Madonna
Misheard Lyric: Like a virgin, touched for the thirty-first time
Correct Lyric: Like a virgin, touched for the very first time

Song: Michelle by The Beatles
Misheard Lyric: Michelle, Ma Bell, some say monkeys play piano well, play piano well
Correct Lyric: Michelle ma belle, sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble, très bien ensemble.
Story: My sister and I were somberly singing along at the top of our lungs when my mom cracked up. Never occurred to us that it was another language.


  1. I really thought that desperado lyric was correct until today...

    My favourite of my own is Elton John's Tiny Dancer. I actually found out the hard way by posting the lyrics on an internet form 11 years ago...
    Misheard Lyrics: Baby darling she's so splendid
    Correct Lyrics: Lay me down on sheets of linen

  2. Journey, "Open Arms" - Here I am with broken arms.

    Eagles, "Take it Easy" - I'm looking for a lover who won't blow may brother.

  3. These are so funny because EVERYONE has been guilty of singing the wrong lyrics!

    My favorite misheard lyrics were from a little boy I used to babysit in the 70s. Freddie Fender came on the radio and I hear Kevin sing "Wave to Dave and wave to Mike!" instead of "Wasted days and wasted nights."

    My dad took me and a bunch of girlfriends to a high school dance and the Bee Gees were playing on the 8-track. He was singing, "See ya tonight, see ya tonight" instead of "stayin' alive, stayin' alive." When we corrected him he responded, "Well, Hell, I can't tell what those girls are singing!"

  4. My brother and his friends would sing "My Dick" to that one hit wonder by Pilot in the 70s called "Magic". It does sound like that. "whoa oh oh it's MY DICK! you knooowwww - it's MY DICK never believe it's not so..."

    Once in awhile I hear it on satellite 70s and I never think anything but "my dick", never "magic". Brother used to argue it made better sense with the rest of the lyrics and he's right.

  5. Monkeys do play piano well.

  6. My brother would sing the word "Valerie" in the Steve Winwood song of the same name as "Kerosene." My cousin didn't miss a beat with the next line, "I'm the same fuel I used to be!"

  7. Song: "Sex On Fire" by Kings of Leon

    Misheard Lyric: Sauced lips are hopin, knuckles are held. Feels like you're dying, you're dying

    You, this nazi's on fire.

    Correct Lyric: Soft lips are open, knuckles are pale. Feels like you're dying, you're dying You, your sex is on fire.

    Story: Gave a work friend a ride home one day and he sang along to the radio. I nearly put my car into a road divider laughing.

  8. Nazi's on fire! LMAO, Cam!

    My "Sex on Fire" story is a bit different. Ever since a bunch of 13 year old girls rode home with me from the skating rink one night and heard this song in my car, I've been snubbed by the "We're-Better-Mothers-than-You Club." I'm trying to pick up the shattered pieces of my life and move on. Snort. (It's not my first booting. I got kicked out with daughter #1 when I let she and her friends listen to the unedited Radiohead song, "Creep.")

  9. RGR

    You rock! and 13 year old girls already have heard worse. Back when I was that age, the hottest albums were The Downward Spiral, In Utero and RATM. Thank God my mom doesn't speak English.

  10. A co worker came into my office, I was listening to No Doubt, Spiderwebs and he starts singing "scream my balls off, scream my balls off"

    I spewed my coffee and sing it that way to this day.

  11. I, too, heard "wrapped up like a douche" but then I thought it went "rollin over in the night". Someone told me once it was actually deuce, but I never knew the rest of the lyric correctly until just now ;)

    I think the song "Bad Day" sounds like "The ponies, they laugh at what you say". I have since looked it up and found it is "the point is they laugh at what you say" but as a horse lover, I much prefer the ponies version

    I think the song "Move Along" sounds like "Mow The Lawn" too.

    And, my two cents about "Sex Is On Fire" - I've always found this song to be real hard to understand :P I think I only learned he was singing "My sex is on fire" about a year ago.

  12. I thought "Your sex is on fire" was "You set shit on fire?"


  13. Laughing hard 'n' loud at some of these. My contributions would be:

    "We Live So Fast" by Heaven 17
    I thought ...
    We live so fast, bullshit, bullshit.
    It actually says ...
    We live so fast, motion, motion.

    Oh and Ozzie Osbourne's "Bark At The Moon" had me singing "Bugger The Moon" which earned me a smacked arse and sent to bed early.



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