I'm pretty sure I posted this story when it first broke. Poor woman--just trying to get away from her GD kids for 15 minutes to rub one out, and all hell breaks loose. Next time keep your top on, lady, and you'll be fine.
At first I thought the weapons charge was for the vibrator she was using, but turns out she had a gun, too. Gotta keep all the pervs away, you know. Some creep walking by sees topless Vikki going at it in her minivan and comes to the window to see what's what, so she pulls her 9mm and points it at his face: "Step. The Fuck. Away from the van. I'm busy."
I also wondered if she was able to finish before the cops interrupted her, but then I saw her mugshot.
"You're under arrest, ma'am."
"Whatever. Can I bum a smoke?"
From The Smoking Gun.
Topless Female Van Masturbator Pleads Guilty To Minor Weapons Charge
The topless Illinois woman arrested on a gun charge after cops found her masturbating in a Chrysler van outside a Red Roof Inn has pleaded guilty to a weapons count, according to court records.
Vikki Myers, 44, copped a plea last month in DuPage County Circuit Court to a City of Naperville ordinance violation. Myers, pictured in the mug shot at right, was fined $165 and placed on “supervision” for several months. She is scheduled for a March 9 court appearance.
Myers, arrested in November for possession of a 9mm handgun without a state-issued Firearm Owners Identification card, admitted to masturbating in the vehicle, where cops discovered “adult items that were used for self-pleasuring.”
Myers, who was not charged for the topless auto eroticism, was apparently staying at the hotel with her children, and had repaired to the van for her solo session.