Monday, January 10, 2011

Fart-Blaming Phrases Of The Day

Highbrow as ever here at LOTD with this fun list from Suzanne (and Wikipedia).



  • He who observed it served it.
  • He who detected it ejected it.
  • Whoever rhymed it crimed it.
  • Whoever spoke last set off the blast.
  • Whoever smelt it dealt it.
  • Whoever denied it supplied it.
  • The one who speaks is the one who reeks.
  • The smeller's the feller.
  • He who inculpated promulgated.
  • The one who said the verse just made the atmosphere worse.
  • Whoever pokes fun is the smoking gun.
  • He who accuses blew the fuses.
  • Whoever said the rhyme did the crime.
  • He who refuted it tooted it.
  • He who pointed the finger pulled the finger.
  • He who articulated it particulated it.
  • He who deduced it produced it.
  • She who sniffed it biffed it.
  • The slanderer made the gland error.
  • He who eulogized it aerosolized it.

Other phrases:

  • A fox smells his own hole first.
  • Who cut the cheese?
  • Barking spiders.
  • Who stepped on a frog?
  • Mouse on a motorcycle.
  • The first chicken that cackles, laid the egg.
  • Somebody's baking brownies.
  • He who blew the whistle blew the flute.
  • Who sat on a duck?
  • Ok... who did it?
  • The one who complains first is the one who farted.

Know any more?

26 comments:

  1. Más vale perder un amigo que perder una tripa, which translates as "It's better to lose a friend than to lose a bowel"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Better to burp and taste it; than fart and waste it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We call a burp a fart pulled up by the roots.

    ReplyDelete
  4. A burp is a fart that never reached its destination.
    Damn! I'm all ladylike.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha, I forgot about that, Rockman. :D I'd heard it as "Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it."

    I'm also reminded of the quote, "A fart is the cry of an imprisoned turd." I first saw it attributed to Twain, but browsing the internet, it's been attributed to Ben Franklin and others, as well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Some country folk say, "Bit dog always hollers," which is supposed to mean the same thing, but doesn't really make sense.

    And then there's the old rhyme about pay toilets:

    Here I sit, brokenhearted
    Paid a dime and only farted.


    I guess some place still have pay toilets, but if I happened upon one, I would not pay, but just pee on the floor in front of it. It would serve them right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The rest of it goes...

      Yesterday I took a chance
      Saved a dime, but shit my pants.

      Delete
    2. My dad always would say "I shot a frog" or "who shot a frog" lol!

      Delete
  7. For whom the smell rolls.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really shouldn't have clicked on this post at breakfast time...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahaha... we are getting more literary by the moment.

    In other news, I just cleared "Twain fart turd" from the search box so my husband doesn't become concerned.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My Grandmother would always say "Damn squeaky floorboards"...

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  11. My kids used to say, "Ooops! I popped a booty bubble!"

    I've heard, "That one blew past the mold."

    "He who inculpated promulgated" made me cackle. (And no, I did not lay the egg.)

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  12. Whoever admired it fired it.

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  13. He who blames the dog is the one who made the fog. :-D

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  14. Someone's baking a brownie!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Floated an air biscuit.

    But mostly I just hear either; "Dear God, what did you do?!?" or "Oh man do you need some TP?"

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  16. My friend's 3-year-old calls them fluffies.

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  17. When my boys do it, I always ask if they need a diaper.

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  18. Who let fluffy off the chain.

    ReplyDelete
  19. That's going to itch when it dries...

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your voice has changed but your breath is still the same...

    ReplyDelete

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