Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: I Want My Stolen Van Back

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911** Chevy van stolen from storage shed! REALLY PISSED!

Date: 2010-09-21, 9:52AM PDT

1986 Chevy conversion van stolen from my shed in Springfield on Sunday.

DESCRIPTION: dark grey color, side and back rear windows covered in silver duck tape, and sprayed over with black spray paint. I was planning on turning it into bus for my church, that's why the windows look like that. People know me would back me up on that so I'm not worried about it.

VERY PERSONAL private, personal items inside--

1- two sets of police-style handcuffs... very valuable. steel locks. I have the key ,so you can't use them anyway, I would really love to have these back for sentimentel reasons.

2- There might also be some old magazines too maybe, but they aren't mine. My neighbor asked me to store them inside of my van so his wife wouldn't catch him looking at them. They are not mine, but I would like them back so he doesn't get in any kind of trouble for looking at that sort of thing. We all sin, but god knows our heart! (corinthians 5-17)

**There is some home-made like VCR tapes too that aren't mine. Believe me, I go to church all the time, and people who know me will tell you that I would NEVER look at stuff like that, but it would be real nice if I could just return them to their rightful owner so people don't think I look at crap like that. God knows that I don't and that's what's important.

Please let me know if you have seen this vehicle!! This really hurt my plans for the weekend, any information would be appreciated!

God Bless!


  1. What a tool. Admit it you douche bag hypocrite, you don't care about the van, you want your porno back.

  2. KT, porno stashing is an art that not all have mastered. It takes years to learn the differences between a good hiding place and a bad one.

  3. How sweet that he's sentimental about the handcuffs. HA!

    I'm afraid his weekend plans may have to change.

  4. Walter Matthau in the sidebar--oh my goodness, that made me laugh. =)

  5. Man, it sounds like Pastor Dave's weekend plans got shot all to hell.

  6. -snort-

    I think he should be worried about what God sees in his heart.



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