People who fancy themselves as gourmet chefs & try to impress people with it. They always point out that it's homemade. "Mmmmm, seared goat sphincter with a homemade organic apple & cat urine glace. Steamed St. John's Wort with a hint of kumquat that my kids picked at the farm. Then it's homemade dulce de leche foo-foo cakey doos! It's my own recipe, let me know if you want it!People who post every fucking morsel of food they are eating! "Hot Pocket, it's what's for lunch."
Seared goat sphincter *is* a tasty dish, though, and difficult to prepare.
Oh, the first one. Today one of my "facebook friends" who was just pregant (and announced that on Facebook) posted she was going in to have a D&C because there was no heartbeat. I feel badly for her, but is Facebook the appropriate place to let people know about this. She has also posted about a lump in her breast, her mammogram, how it turned out to be nothing, her knee surgery...oh I could go on. You know, I think I need to "unfriend" her now that I've ranted.
I have one who posts nothing but inspirational quotes as her status. Although I enjoy some of the quotes, they don't tell me anything about her or her life. It's like being friends with John Bartlett.
A friend of mine who barely updates every month has 200 devotees, and always posts about parties they're not invited to. The devotees always beg of an invitation and when she puts them down, they beg some more: She: "Grandma's B-Day!" Classmate from 10 years ago: "Can I go?" She: "Sorry, it's only for family" Dude: "Pretty please?"I mostly post random crap and somehow, someone always is offended.
Daisy: "Friendship is a sheltering tree." ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
I'm giving up goat sphincter for lent. I'm starting early. Now.
HA HA HA! Yes, Cary, it is. My friendship tree has a few nuts growing on it. ;-)
This is why God invented the hide button.
I really hate the people that make a huge production about purging their friend list. "I just did a major clean up and if you can read this, woo hoo, you made the cut." ORLY? I'm with Spinderfella -- that's what the stinking HIDE button is for. Just hide them and STFU.
Yup, I know most of 'em. I am, of course, none of them :)
I honestly really hate the new parents who use their kid and JUST their kid as their profile picture. I have no qualms with a picture of a parent with their kid, but the kid alone ones just really bug the hell out of me. Especially because I'm looking at the parent's facebook, not the kid's. They can get their own damn facebook when they're appropriately aged. I also hate the new parent that only updates about their kid, only talks about their kid adn only posts picture of their kid but I am also a really bitchy person so this might just be me.
LOL @ dorfmunder! I have at least one of each of these on my friend list. I agree about making liberal use of the "hide" button. I just hid someone not 10 minutes ago. Shhhh!
The HIDE button works fine but I'm waiting for the SMITE button.
I'm going to have to post a link on Facebook to this!
Dorfmunder: that's me. D'oh!Daisy: "It's like being friends with John Bartlett." Snort.I love the Facebook funnies.
OMG. HILARIOUS...thanks for posting this.
@bev, I might BE one of these...lol. can't wait, one more sleep til TGIF...hahahahah just sayin. ;)
Hey Rich Girl Red - I think you must be on my recently culled friend list.Daisy - I had a friend who got into that Secret bullshit and thought SHE was an author of inspirational quotes. I had to defined her when it got to school holidays and she would keep spouting forth how MAGICAL it was to be surrounded by her offspring every minute of the day and how much they inspire her. Not the thing a mother of two special needs kids needs to be reading every day while peeling away the pinching fingers of one child and shoveling ANOTHER bowl of dry cornflakes into the mouth of the other. (strictly NO MILK!) Despite her ravings on how amazing and peaceful the world is now she's adjusted her think onto a higher plane, all it meant was that she had become less tolerant to anyone not living on said plane. We've ceased all contact, virtual and real life.Cary - you forgot "Crazy friend who reacts violently to LOTD link featuring bad pet portraits"
Ha, Smauge, I actually thought of adding it, but figured why stir that pot again? But yes, that person is #19, bless her disturbed heart.
Just a few minutes ago, I defriended someone after a lot of deliberation. He's the husband of a HS friend, but our religious views are sooo utterly different, and every single post from him was nothing but. Today was the capper: he stated that no one would ever have a problem with sexual addiction if they'd just applied the Gospel to every part of their life.Too bad you can't send a stink bomb through the FB mail.
*tosses back a neat scotch while looking at the early Cabo sun* I just wanted to say that every day is Friday for me, my children are "A" students and have never been in trouble, my salary was so high I donated 13% of it to Pennsylvania's unemployed, I'm about to make a frittata with ham, spinach and swiss cheese, (blindfolded) with farm-fresh eggs and other ingredients that I spontaneously grew for just this occasion (because God loves me), and the "Body Part Of The Day Quiz" says I'm a sphincter!
Richard, I think I <3 you. *snrk*And I'm about to change Bea's loaded nappy. I think I'll post that as my status because everyone needs to know what a trooper I am.
SiressYorkie said...Too bad you can't send a stink bomb through the FB mail.You know there's something to be said for a handwritten letter. In your case I'd suggest sending a letter you've "written" by dragging it across one of Bea's fresh deliveries.
Don't worry Cary. She's not likely to darken the virtual doorstep of LOTD anytime soon.
I don't understand the purpose of the HIDE button. If I get tired of someone, I'll just delete them. It ain't fair if they get to see mine when I don't want to see theirs.
Frank:Some people get annoyed in FB by someone they love in real life and don't want to hurt their feelings by erasing them. I get annoyed by friends on FB but I mock them instead of deleting. I don't have a lot of FB friends...