Friday, December 17, 2010

Boob Assault Of The Day

Ouch.

From The Smoking Gun.



Cops: Woman Tore Off Kin's Nipple

Suspect, 46, in messy brawl with daughter-in-law, 30

DECEMBER 16--A drunken early-morning fight between a New Mexico woman and her daughter-in-law ended Sunday when the older combatant tore the nipple off one of her kin’s breasts, according to a wince-inducing police report.

Prosecutors will weigh aggravated assault charges against Amilia Oveide, 46, in connection with her December 12 confrontation with Marie Cadney, 30, the wife of Oveide’s son, 26-year-old Jason Cadney.

A Las Cruces Police Department report notes that the Cadneys and Oveide had “been drinking most of the night” when, Marie Cadney told cops, a 3 AM argument between her husband and his mother became “very intense.”

Cadney said that she “went to stand between them and try to separate them,” though she also began arguing with her mother-in-law. Oveide, a convicted felon who has spent time in prison for narcotics possession, is pictured in this October 2003 mug shot.

Cadney said that is when Oveide “grabbed her right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple.” Cadney added that she yelled for Oveide “to let go and Oveide continued to pull at that time.” Oveide let go only after Cadney began punching her in the face.

Cadney was interviewed by investigators at Memorial Medical Center after a doctor had performed a reattachment procedure.

After Cadney had physically removed her mother-in-law from the apartment, she felt fluid on her right breast, and noticed that there was blood on her shirt. And here’s where the cringe factor explodes.

“When she untucked her shirt she stated her nipple fell on the floor. She stated she picked it up, put into a bag securing it,” cops reported. Amazingly, two hours passed before Cadney “decided she needed to go to the hospital.”

While Cadney told officers that she was not sure she wanted to pursue charges, prosecutors have the discretion to file a felony case against Oveide following the conclusion of the police probe.

Music Video Parody of the Day (NSFW)

"I'm talking about your dong, of course."

It's Friday. Rock out with your, um, time clock out.


(Lots more like this one here.)

-Heidi Renée




Hideous Christmas Sweaters Of The Day

Someone paid money for these.


The snowman tried to hide before the photo was taken, but he wasn't quick enough.


Benny traded his bite stick and bus helmet for this sweater.


Grandma hated to waste anything, so when she ended up with three extra Santa heads, she stuck one on the arm and two on the back.


It looks like he horked down the front of his shirt.


The Playboy Christmas sweater. Because the birth of Jesus and porno mags go great together.


WTF? She looks like a Christmas suicide bomber. How does she stand up straight with all that shit on there? Oh, I know -- she has an anvil hanging from her back.


If you're wondering who gave Mom the Scotty Christmas vest, I'm guessing it's the guy with the mullet on the shelf back there.


Fuckin' teenagers. They never appreciate nice gifts.


The best thing about this sweater on eBay...


... is that it came with this super-sexy track suit.


She's checking for a heartbeat, because most guys wouldn't be caught dead in that thing.


If I had this vest, I'd wear it just like this -- with nothing under it. I might not even wear pants. But I would wear a top hat. And maybe a little one on my penis, too.


The Rorschach Sweater. Most patients say it looks like someone lost a snowball fight.


Did this come from the Mount Vernon gift shop? It looks like George and Martha Washington Snowman.


What, you thought only Americans had crappy taste?


I bet Coca-Cola makes its employees wear this to work.


This one looks like an afterthought. Someone was tired of the powder blue V-neck so she just stuck a bunch of Christmas shit on it.


Now we know where beads go to die.


She got just back from Sgt. Pepper auditions, but I don't know what the fuck he's thinking.


Sid The Surfin' Jew shows off a gift from a fan


Jerry got dibs on the Christmas sweater, so Maggie got stuck wearing the tablecloth.


Who wants to play Menorah Invaders?

Uncrappy Christmas Song Of The Day (video)

I usually post the awful ones this time of year but I can't bear watching "The Christmas Shoes" or that creepy Grandma song again. This is one of my kid's favorites (and mine).



I know you're gonna want this in your collection, so buy it here:


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