I hope he's not driving his sleigh tonight. Don't quit before the best part (last 45 secs).
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Dude. What did you expect? From The Smoking Gun.
Woman Busted For Bloody Tongue Assault
DECEMBER 7--What kind of a woman bites off her 79-year-old husband’s tongue and then poses for a mug shot flashing her pearly whites? Meet Karen Lueders.
The 57-year-old Wisconsin woman was arrested Monday evening for felony mayhem/domestic violence after she allegedly bit off half of her husband Willard’s tongue while kissing him.
Willard Lueders was transported to a hospital about 50 miles from the couple’s Sheboygan home so doctors could attempt to re-attach the tongue.
It is unclear why Karen bit off Willard’s tongue. Though Willard--in written responses to police questions--said that his wife was a in "manic state" when he was attacked, and had been "talking very fast and talking about spiritual things" over the past few days.
Willard said that he had gotten up at around 11:15 PM to go to the bathroom, where his wife was sitting on the toilet. “He advised that he kissed her while she was sitting on the toilet and that she had gone into a manic state, biting off his tongue,” according to a criminal complaint filed today. Willard added that his wife had also grabbed his penis.
Responding to a 911 call from Willard, police found Karen outside their home, where she was singing Christmas carols with a New Year's horn in her hand.
According to a page on the Faith Alliance Church web site, Karen Lueders is a “full-time Activity Director for the elderly” who shares “a music ministry named ‘His Harmony’” with her husband.
In April, Lueders, who has two grown daughters and five grandchildren, spoke at a women’s church seminar entitled “Misfeeding Our Appetites.” Lueders lectured attendees on how to “Gain understanding into what you are really hungry for.”
All of them framed, I'm sure.
She must be asking for her one phone call.
I like your mustache. No, the other one.
I love druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs.
Pop goes the weasel.
I tried to outrun the cops and all I got was this lousy beating.
Add a face mask to that helmet and she could play linebacker.
All he needed for Halloween was a pitchfork and horns.
Don't fret, Blondie, Dagwood is on his way to bail you out.
That's about to change, my friend.
Arrested for failure to not be a total douche
The love child of Jamie Foxx and Hilary Swank.
Just got caught.
If that zit pops, you might lose the other eye, too.
...in my freezer.
How are those anger management classes coming along?
You have something in your teeth. No, other side. Over one. That's it, right there.
On the bright side, he can carry his bowling ball and keep his hands free.
You shaved your head for that?