Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Fast Food Commercial Of The Day




Just hoping to brighten your day! -Lefty

80s Music Vid Of The Day: Burning

This clip is so full of win, you should watch it through one of those eclipse viewers so the awesomeness doesn't burn your retinas.

Kudos to Survivor for following up "Eye Of The Tiger" with something completely different that sounds nothing at all like that song.



A few things to note in this fine video:

0:24 - Talia chews up the scenery with her tremendous range.

1:01 - Symbolic phallus = macho Rocky is here to cock-slap Russia into submission.

1:17 - "Bloated capitalist pig. I used to fuck guys like you in the Gulag."

1:21 - Rocky's beard cleverly indicates that time has passed. His jacket tells us there is a Timberland store nearby.

1:42: "Oh yeah, this cracka's dead meat."

1:48 - The Passion Of The Rocky

2:20 - Whodafuck invited Paulie?

2:26 - More range. Her eyes speak volumes.

2:58 - "To Lee Fook's, Number One Son. Quickly!"

3:38 - "I must break you."


Asshole E-Mail Of The Day: Dishwasher

This guy is my hero. From E-Mails From An Asshole.



Original ad:


I need a dishwasher dont care what color so long as it is a good working dishwasher that is cheap. I have a truck and can pick it up if necessary. - John


From me to John:

Hello! My name Miguel, I am good working dishwasher. I work at Ricardo's Pizza as dishwasher for 5 years- me top dishwasher. Leave your dishes very clean and work for cheap. I have no driving license. You pick up, yes? - Miguel

From John to me:

haha I want a dishwashing machine not a person who washes dishes. thanks though.

From me to John:


Yes, I wash dishes like machine...even better! You want, yes?

From John to me:

No! No want! I want THIS.



That is called a DISHWASHER. I don't want a porto rican who washes dishes!

From me to John:


Oh noooo, I no Puerto Rican. Puerto Ricans very bad dishwashers - no work ethic. I Mexican - very good work ethic! You no worry, Miguel wash all dishes on time, with pride! Is that your dishwash machine? I use sink and soap but can use machine too. - Miguel

From John to me:

NO dude I want to BUY a machine. i dont know if i can be any clearer. you dont understand me do you?

From me to John:


No worry, I leave dishes clear, clean and sparkle! -Miguel

From John to me:

dude you obviously have trouble reading english. here. i used a translater.

NO QUIERO CONTRATARLE. QUIERO COMPRAR UNA APLICACIÓN DEL LAVAPLATOS.

you comprende?

From me to John:


que?

From John to me:

oh for crying out fucking loud dude why did i even bother

fuck this

Drugged-Out Dancer of the Day (vid)

I'll have what she's having. No, wait... on second thought, no I won't.
- Bev



I love how she works the picking of her wedgie into the dance routine around the 1:35 mark.


Fat Celebrities Of The Day

Pictures from Manofest, captions by Frank.


Justin Bieber - Now there's more of "Somebody to Love."


Ashton Kutcher - Demi's pissed because she's the one who was supposed to get fat.


Cameron Diaz - "Hey, will someone get me another tub of buttered popcorn,
but hold the popcorn?"


Heidi Klump


Charlize Theron - Monster


John Travolta - Someone forgot to retouch this photo.


Carmen Electra - "Ok, ok! I'm a whale, and I'm on a beach,
but quit trying to push me back into the ocean!"

(More here, but you'll have to make up your own captions.)

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