Vid Of The Day: In The Can

I bet some of you prefer it in the can. You know who you are...and I can guess.

Fly Art Of The Day

Not fly like MC Hammer, fly like dead insects. Someone has too much time on their hands. And a fly problem. They must live in the Amityville Horror house.

Funnies from Jill B.

QOTD: Words We Hate

I hate these words. I don't know why, I just do.

slacks
eatery
fixin's
signage (just say SIGNS, butthole)
trousers
semen
ointment
seepage
crux
closure (unless referring to a fastener)
hootenanny

Let's hear yours. I know you have some.

On second thought, hootenanny isn't so bad.

Product Of The Day: Snazzy Napper (video)

Yes, by all means, wear this on your next flight and let us know how that goes, k?

Great acting at :45. She's had some training.

From TheMovieGuru.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Satanic Sexual Ritual (NSFW)

best of craigslist > santa barbara >

Satanic Sexual Ritual

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Date: 2009-06-18, 5:13PM PDT

Looking for a woman with evil appetites.

We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)

Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.

Must be into anal. For that is Satan's Alley.

Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer's Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)

Must be into slight S&M (Safe word: Pink Sock)

Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.

Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)

Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the "Power of Beezlebub" coursing thru my lower intestines.

The perfect encounter will be this:

Meeting you at one of our local eatery's. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!)

Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my "Sacrifice Altar" (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it's hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings).

Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord's Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself!

After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.

If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing "love" together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!