Thursday, November 11, 2010

Vid Of The Day: Conan's Best Star Moments

He's back. Here's why.

News Story Of The Day: More Trouble For Carnival

From The Borowitz Report.

November 11, 2010

Somali Pirates Refuse to Board Carnival Cruise Ships

Cite ‘Unsafe Working Conditions’

MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) – In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing “unsafe working conditions.”

“If Carnival thinks that it’s going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined,” said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. “We Somali pirates may be bold, but we’re not crazy.”

The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor “has sent a shiver through the pirate community.”

“We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames,” he said. “And don’t get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets.”

When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, “I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans.”

Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company “would be working overtime to win back the pirates’ trust.”

In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: “Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno.”

Inexpensive Gift Idea Of The Day: Iconic Book Cover Postcards

These are cool, so I thought I'd share (and work in a quick sponsor shill while I'm at it).

From Very Short List.

Postcards From Penguin tops our new list of $20-and-under year-end presents. Each postcard features one iconic book cover. (Where else would
The Great Gatsby keep company with Keeping Poultry and Rabbits on Scraps?)

Some are beautiful; others are evocative of specific times and places. (One of the publisher's wartime best sellers was a book called
Recognizing Aircraft.)

You can give them all to one special person—or dole them out, to many more friends, one by one, through the mail.

Buy them here and support LOTD. Thanks.

Classic 70s Commercial Of The Day: Enjoli

Like it was yesterday. "I can bring home the bacon... fry it up in a pan." I can hear it like it was yesterday.

Imagine that: a woman who can make breakfast, work all day (love your suit!), and still have the energy at night to shag her hubby and remind him that he's a man. Because he forgets sometimes. I guess secretly wearing her underwear has him all confused.

Best YouTube comments:

"...and now 30 years later lets hear the end of the song...

I can pay all the bills
Work hard like a dog
And never retire because YOU LOST YOUR JOB!
I'm a suuuucker.....that is me!"

"It is actually Joan Collins' urine."

Worst Women's Tattoos Of The Day (NSFW)

I guess $10 doesn't go quite as far as it used to.


That's one limber unicorn. Must be Pokey's kid.

I miss my old dead iPod, too, but I doubt it's in heaven.

I guess just saying no wasn't working?

That tat was only 3" tall before she got knocked up.

Is that three cars or one car stretched across three fat rolls?

Q: How do you know when you're too old for My Little Pony?
A: You have to cover your breast to show the tattoo.

Kansas basketball. She couldn't just buy a t-shirt?

When you're done, please kill the entire cast of "Two And A Half Men"

In my dreams there are no panties.

I never liked Life, either. But I got over it.

She asked for Dragon Ball. She got dragon balls. Big ones.

That makes sense

The ever-popular "Elf and Naked Woman Collect Leaves Under A Cat Sun" tattoo.

I've heard of guys naming their hands, but never women.

When would someone rea--oh.. never mind.

I "beleive" you should ask for a refund.

I guess she expects to be pregnant a lot in the coming years

Funny, my power-up button is somewhere else.

I believe you.


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