Gifs and captions from Jezebel. Many, many more at the link and in the comments. - Heidi Renée
Do not want! (my favorite)
I'd hit that
I will kill you
This oughta be good
I gotta get in on this - C.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Lowering The Bar is a website dedicated to things humorous and ridiculous in our legal system, be they lawsuits, court decisions, whatever. The list that follows includes some of their "Best Of" for 2008. Yes, 2008. Okay, so I'm a little late -- I blame Juicy Trixx for not sending me the link sooner. In fact, I might sue.
LAWSUITS OF THE YEAR
- Sarkozy v. K&B Editions: President of France sues company for making voodoo doll in his image; he wins and is awarded one euro
- Feeney v. L’Oreal: plaintiff alleges hair dye was mislabeled; claims emotional distress resulting from no longer being able to live life as a blonde
- Gomez v. Colorado Department of Corrections: inmate sues after falling during an escape attempt; claims state failed to make jail "reasonably escape-proof"
- Goodman v. O’Brien: woman who delivers junk mail for a living threatens to sue homeowner after getting her finger caught in his mail slot
- Knights Templar v. Pope Benedict XVI, et al.: Group claiming to be heirs of the order of Knights Templar sues the Catholic Church for illegally seizing the order's assets (Bonus points: statute of limitations ran out 700 years ago)
LEGAL ARGUMENTS OF THE YEAR
- A German woman's claim that she was unable to respond on time to a benefit agency's request for information because she suffers from a "phobia of official correspondence"
- The claim in an IRS proceeding that the defendant had been unable to pay taxes or file returns for five years because he suffers from "Late-Filing Syndrome"
- The declaration by a couple in Florida that they are "sovereigns" not subject to U.S. laws, so that they do not have to pay taxes and in fact can print their own money
- A multi-millionaire's claim that he defaulted on a 3.6-million-pound mortgage because after he moved in he discovered the estate was haunted
- The claim, by a police officer suspended for having sex with prostitutes while on duty, that he did so only as part of a sting operation and did not enjoy the sex ("If you are asking if I had an orgasm, yes. It was a job, sir. I didn't have pleasure doing this")
- A claim of tribal immunity by the members of the "Wampanoag Nation," a tribe that turned out to have three members and was founded in an Arby's in Provo, Utah, in 2003
- An argument, in the trial of a man accused of killing his stepdaughter, by defense attorneys who cross-examined a detective partly by pointing out that the defendant had been given a coffee mug labeled "WORLD'S GREATEST DAD"
LAWYERS OF THE YEAR
- Judge Elizabeth Halverson, a Las Vegas judge who was suspended after her staff and others complained about bizarre and abusive treatment, including the demanding of foot rubs and showing up for work accompanied by armed bodyguards. Halverson lost an election in August.
- Adam "Bulletproof" Reposa, who was jailed for contempt of court after making a wanking gesture in response to an argument by opposing counsel. Bonus points: "DWI Stud" ads in which he is depicted having sex with a female police officer.
- The partners at the Cohen Milstein firm, who fired the firm's managing partner by leaving a note on his chair while he was at a meeting. Oh, the camaraderie.
- Ted Olson and Joe Larisa, both of whom represented petitioners in a Supreme Court case and both of whom refused to let the other guy argue the case. They actually asked the Supreme Court to decide the issue, but it refused. (Larisa backed down at the last minute, but only after being promised he could sit at counsel table.) Major bonus points: an attempt to break the impasse by coin toss failed because they were unable to agree on the rules for the coin toss.