Monday, October 18, 2010

Reunion Of The Day: Guys & Bong

Fiasco.

From The Smoking Gun.



Feel-Good Story: Duo Reunited With Bong Lost Seven Years Ago

Following a traffic stop this morning, Matthew Hawley and Mark Fiasco, both 23, were busted after a search of Hawley’s 1998 Mercury turned up nearly 30 grams of marijuana.

That, of course, is the bad news.

However, the Florida duo’s felony collars did come with a silver lining. During the vehicle search, Bradenton Police Department officers found a bong in the car’s trunk that both men (pictured above) said had been missing for seven years.

The $150 bong was one of two that the men purchased from a Sarasota glass blower back when they were in high school, Hawley told cops. The other bong, he added, “had been broken by [Fiasco’s] brother while engaged in sexual intercourse.”

Fiasco, who admitted to plans to “smoke the shit out” of pot found in the car, told an officer that he “had been looking for the bong for the last 7 years” and was “pleased” that investigators located it.

Fiasco, a cop reported, “was under the assumption that an old roommate had stolen it.” A photo on Fiasco’s MySpace page (titled “SMOKE ONE”) shows him smoking what appears to be a Kingston-sized monster spliff.

The bong, which was inside a plastic bag, was tested for marijuana residue, but the results “did not obtain positive results.”

Police reports do not offer insight as to how the custom-made item remained undiscovered for so long.

Both men were booked into the Manatee County jail on felony drug possession charges.

Vid Of The Day: Spongebob Haypants

NFW.

On a side note, I really wish people would learn how to use a GD camera. A tripod costs what, about $30?

From Willie, the ragin' Cajun.



Lazy Futhermuckers Of The Day

There are more, but I'm too lazy to find them.




But we're too lazy to find out for sure




I'm too lazy to turn the car around, but I'll yank this hose so hard that it rips from the pump


I kinda like this idea


Sheep


Guess no one volunteered that day




I think we have a winner


Yeah, I'm climbing on that.





Classic TV Clip Of The Day: Fembots

A 1976 classic from The Bionic Woman. What, you think Austin Powers came up with Fembots? Negative.

I miss the 70s.



More awesomer in another language.



There was even a Fembot toy (Jamie Summers sold separately)



Fun E.R. Visits Of The Day

From Dorf. I didn't realize baseballs were so popular.



Highlights from a database of over 374,000 Emergency Room visits.

• 6 Male White - FELL IN DIRT FROM TOY BIKE & HIT BY CLASSMATE AT SCHOOL, NOSEBLEED, NOW HALLUCINATING STATES SNAKES/BUGS CRAWLING ON LEG/ARMS; HALLUCINATING

• 31 Female Black - BOYFRIEND INSERTED A BASEBALL IN HER VAGINA 4 HOURS AGO UNABLE TO REMOVAL BASEBALL FOREIGN BODY VAGINA REMOVAL

•14 months Female Not stated - PT CRAWLED UNDER THE BED OF A HOTEL ROOM AND CAME OUT WITH A VIBRATOR IN MOUTH POSSIBLE STD EXPOSURE.

•58 Male Not stated - TRIED TO PRY FIGURINE OFF TOP OF 6MONTH OLD CUPCAKE W/ KNIFE,IT SLIPPED-CUT R INDEX FINGER, DX LACERATION R INDEX FINGER

•20 Male White - CHEMICAL BURNS TO FACE FROM KEYBOARD CLEANER THAT FRIENDS PUT ON HIS FA CE AS A JOKE/ CHEMICAL BURN FACE

•39 Male White - PREPPING FIELD FOR BASEBALL GAME/ WENT HOME AND TOOK DRINK OF POMEGRANATE SCHNAPPS/CHEST PAIN

•47 Male White - "WAS DOING SOME KINKY MANEUVERS" WITH GIRL HE MET, SHE PUT A PLASTIC BOTTLE IN RECTUM, UNABLE TO REMOVE. DX - RECTAL FOREIGN BODY

•22 Female Not stated - BURNED A CROSS INTO WRIST WITH HOT SCREWDRIVER WHILE DRUNK THAT IS INFECTED NOW

•7 Male White - WAS PLAYING W/FRIEND THROWING BRICKS, 1 BOUNCED OFF FENCE, HITTING SELF IN HEAD - CONTUSION HEAD

•7 Male Not stated - R HAND FX:STATES FRIEND TWISTED MY "FRESHLY PIERCED NIPPLES, COULD HIT FRIEND OR HIT WALL, HIT WALL WITH FIST, UNSURE IF JEWELRY INVOLVED OR INTENT

•20 Male White - PT C/O OF RIB PAIN. IS DRUNK. CONCERNED HE MAY HAVE SWALLOWED TONGUE PIERCING

•8 Male White - "TRYING TO BE IRON MAN" AND JUMPED OFF OF A DECK 10FT HIGH. DX SPRAIN R/L FOREARM

•15 Male White - FELL OUT OF WHEELCHAIR HIT HEAD ON A TRUCK. DX-PAIN THORACIC SPINE.

•7 Male Not stated - ACCIDENTALLY STRUCK ONTO LOWER ABDOMEN WITH HOCKEY STICK WHILE PLAYING WII>> ABDOMINAL PAIN

•65 Male White - PUT BASEBALL IN RECTUM PREVIOUS DAY FB RECTUM

•44 Male Other - PT CUT FORESKIN OF PENIS ONE MONTH AGO WHILE SHAVING. NOW WITH INCREASED SWELLING AND LARGE ULCER. D: STD, PARAPLUIMOSIS, SYPHILIS.

•7 Female White - PUTTING ON A NECKLACE, ONE END WENT INTO EAR CANAL PUNCTURING TYMPANIC MEMBRANE. DX-PUNCTURE WOUND LEFT EAR DRUM.

•32 Male Black - FOUND LYING PRONE ON THE GRASS, HAVING SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITH A POLE DX-DRUGS VS ACUTE PSYCHIATRIC ILLNESS

•26 Female Black - USED BAR SOAP FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HAS VAGINAL ITCH VAGINO SIS

•13 Female White - PUSHED ASIDE BY FIREMAN COMING IN HOUSE WHILE ANSWERING FIRE CALL, WAS A PRANK CALL THAT HOUSE WAS ON FIRE, LANDED ON FLOOR;HAND CONTUSION

•6 Male White - BROKE POP TOP OFF ROOT BEER CAN & PUT IT IN CAN, CONTINUED TO DRINK OUT OF CAN, MOM DUMPED OUT REST & DIDNT FIND POP TOP; POSS SWALLOWED FB

(Source: Sun-Sentinel.com)


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