Friday, October 8, 2010

"Caption This" Photo Of The Day

We are now no longer the Knights who say 'Ni.' We are now the Knights who say, 'Ekky-Ekky-Ekky-Ekky-PTANG. Zoom Boing. Znurrrwrggnnn.'"

Your turn.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Body Dumping Location Available

(An oldie since Craigslist won't update their "Best Of" section.)

best of craigslist > baltimore >

Body Dumping Location Available

Date: 2009-07-21, 8:56PM EDT

Don't stuff grandma in the freezer!

By now you've probably heard about the Glen Burnie family that stored their 83-year-old grandmother's dead body in a freezer.

Yep, dumping a body is legal around here. Health care workers and other professionals are required to report deaths, but ordinary citizens are not. And, apparently, no state law prohibits the burial or storage of a body on private property.

I'm a laid-off Baltimore-area homeowner. After ten months of unemployment, and the future looking even more grim, I'm willing to consider allowing my backyard to be used for body dumping. Call it private burial if you prefer.

I could probably take a half-dozen bodies without arousing the attention of neighbors. It wouldn't hurt to have one under the garden too.

Me: A discreet Baltimore County homeowner with a half-acre of easily tillable property on a quiet dead-end street.

You: An individual (not a health care worker or other professional required to report a death!) with the awkward inconvenience of disposing of a deceased relative, friend, colleague or acquaintance.

You must provide your own trash bags, tarp, quicklime, shovel, etc. I might be available to hold a flashlight, but I won't do any heavy lifting.

Accidental deaths or natural causes only. I'm not going to get involved in any shenanigans with Omar wannabes. I will not be a participant in, or an accessory to, any sort of crime.

This is a limited time offer! Act now before the state legislature changes the law! If and when the law changes (measures failed 10 years ago, after the 1999 incident), you'll be grandfathered, literally and figuratively.

Price is negotiable. Serious inquiries only.

September "Found Porn" Roundup

See? You aren't the only one with a dirty mind.

That's what
she said

It took two guys to do it

This one's from Samsmama. I think that's her ex.

Happened while he was watching the drill team

"Are you gonna sing into that thing or what," thought the bear.

The anticipated follow-up to Who's Inside Of Me? Next in the series: I Can't Get It Out Of Me, Could You Please Drive Me To The ER?

Who's ready for a waffle?

Free refills at your table

Try our new jizz martini, squeezed from the ripest plums

Chief Uronimo welcomes you to the Bladlands

Sucker punch?

Here, let me shape that up for ya

Playgrounds always make Hector feel reborn

Not for you, John Turturro

Is that the Pocket Book Of Boners in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

He's winking because he slips an extra one in when no one's looking

Today's flavors: Pisstachio or Rocky Choad

Classic 80s Music Video Of The Day: FBG

It's Friday. Let's rock this bitch.


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