Wednesday, August 25, 2010
A great list from MovieVillains.com with essays about the best and worst villains of 80s movies. The usual suspects are here -- Jason, Freddy, Michael, Predator, Darth -- as are some less-celebrated baddies like these. (Copy by MovieVillains.com)
GENERAL ZOD (Superman II)
If you're gonna banish somebody from Krypton, please do us earthlings a favor and send 'em somewhere else. Just when you thought it was safe to visit Mount Rushmore, the diabolical General Zod arrives, fresh from a brief stay in the Phantom Zone. He and his minions of displeasure, the sultry Ursa and the surly Non, did their best to bring the entire Earth to its knees... and pretty much succeeded until Superman showed up.
Best line: "Kneel before Zod!"
GORDON GEKKO (Wall Street)
Capitalism and power suits went together in the 80s like peanut butter and jelly, and there was no bigger shark in the dangerous Wall Street waters than Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas). The cold-hearted corporate raider was famous for buying troubled companies and selling off their assets to the highest bidder, thereby making himself tons of cash and putting thousands of employees out of work. Gekko lived by the mantra: "What's worth doing is worth doing for money."
Best line: "Greed is good."
AUDREY II (Little Shop Of Horrors)
During a solar eclipse, Seymour Krelborn (Rick Moranis) discovers a strange little plant while walking around Chinatown. He brings this little flytrap back to Musknik's flower shop in skid row where he works and tries to nurse it to health. He even names the little bud after the girl he has a crush on, Mushnik's shop girl Audrey (Ellen Greene). But Seymour soon discovers after cutting his finger that the only food little Audrey II (voiced by Levi Stubbs) takes to is human blood.
Best line: "Feed me!"
THE KURGAN (Highlander)
Big, ugly, powerful, rude, scary, and damn good with a sword: this describes the Kurgan (Clancy Brown) fairly well, but the only way to get a feel for what this guy can do is to see him in action. Watch as he slaughters and tortures the poor mortals who have no chance in a fight against him. Witness the annihilation be brings upon everyone in his path. Merciless and arrogant, The Kurgan rides through time on the strength of those other immortals he has killed, beheading them and swallowing their power with the goal of being the last immortal left as the ultimate Prize to be won. But, there are other immortals out there...
Best line: "Hello, pretty."
JOAN CRAWFORD (Mommie Dearest)
This Oscar-winning actress was Hollywood royalty when she adopted a baby girl in 1939. Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) was nearing the end of her career, however; the plum roles were less frequent and her publicity was waning. Perhaps to boost her press coverage a little bit, she adopted a little girl whom she named Christina and became a mother after a number of miscarriages.
Best line: "No. Wire. Hangers. EVER!"
CARTER BURKE (Aliens)
The last thing Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) needed after a 57-year nap was another helping of corporate lies. The Company ignored her warnings of danger on LV-426, the planet where she and her crew had discovered an Alien. And now one of their project leaders, Carter Burke (Paul Reiser), was asking Ripley to join the trip out to that planet as an advisor. And they would annihilate any Aliens out there. Yeah, sure.
Best line: "This is an important species we're dealing with, and I don't think that you or I has the right to arbitrarily exterminate them."
DICK JONES (Robocop)
Dick Jones (Ronny Cox) has an interest in seeing Omni Consumer Products (OCP) become successful. Not only is he one of the Vice Presidents of the company below the CEO - also known as "The Old Man" - and in line to reap the profits of any big sales, but now that the company has the opportunity to supply the military with their products, the financial benefits could be enormous. So all Dick Jones has to do is stay in power as the Old Man's right hand man and squash any challengers to his throne. Like Bob Morton (Miguel Ferrer).
Best line: "You just fucked with the wrong guy, buddy boy."
MING THE MERCILESS (Flash Gordon)
The supreme Emperor of the planet Mongo, Ming the Merciless (Max Von Sydow), controls through fear and terror. He amuses himself by destroying other planets in the solar system. Back home, he uses his secret police force to find those who oppose him and destroys anyone in his way. So, it is with a bit of a chuckle that the mighty Ming is brought down by a fair-haired goofy quarterback named Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones).
Signature line: "I like to play with things a while before annihilation."
ALEX FORREST (Fatal Attraction)
Talk about "unsafe sex." One of Michael Douglas' many roles as a white-bread family man who screws the wrong woman came in this 1987 Adrian Lyne thriller when he played Dan, a lawyer who has a one-night stand with a woman he works with.
Best line: "I won't be ignored, Dan."
BIFF TANNEN (Back To The Future)
Biff Tannen is the big bully from school we've always wanted to forget, but in the case of Back to the Future, he was the bully that Mom and Dad tried to forget. Lucky for Marty McFly, he gets to travel back in time and not only rid his parents from Biff's abuse, but he removes them from Biff's shadow over the years, making things better by bumping into a few pivotal points in time here and there. In doing so, Marty brings to an end a long line of terrorizing Tannens in Hill Valley.
Best line: "What are you looking at, butthead?!"
CHUCKY (Child's Play)
For a long time, this doll was nothing more than a Jason-wannabe, a poor man's Freddy. He did his movies, killed lots of dumbass victims, but he had no respect. Indeed, he's been in some embarrassing situations, like that whole kid's military school thing and the endless plot holes and storylines that make no sense.
Best line: "Hi, I'm Chucky, and I'm your friend till the end."
See the full list and article here.
I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, but, like my mom used to say, fuck it, you'll live.
WHEELMATE STEERING WHEEL DESK TRAY
Introducing the AutoExec WM-01 Wheelmate Steering Wheel Desk Tray. Attaches to your steering wheel for easy access to a writing and drink storage surface. The Go Office Wheel Mate Steering Wheel Desk is flat for writing and perfect for lunch or a snack. This Go Office Wheel Mate Steering Wheel Desk stores neatly in your car when used with the larger Auto Exec Laptop Car Desk. For safety reasons, never use this product while driving. Easily convert your car into your personal automobile office with the Wheel Mate car desk by MobileOffice.
Great idea, right? It's the reviews and customer photos that make this one a winner. Like these:
My copilot and I both used these during our "daily grind" transcontinental flights from San Diego to Minneapolis. We had to modify them a bit to fit snug against the instrument panels (when we bought them we didn't realize the planes we fly don't have steering wheels!), but in the end it did the job. With our laptops firmly in place we were able to focus our attention on what really mattered, participating in raids with our WoW clan. During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about "FAA and F16 fighters."
I loved my Laptop Steering Wheel Desk so much I got one for my 90yr old mother. She is an avid crossword puzzle fan and now she can work on them while she is driving back and forth from bingo at the senior center. One cautionary note be careful of those jerks that stop at yellow lights, my poor mother rear ended one and the airbag drove the desk back into her stomach which ruptured her spleen, well after a short down time I'm glad to say she is back on the road and cranking out those NY Times crosswords once again. Thanks Laptop Steering Wheel Desk you have made my mothers life more complete.
This item works well with my other steering wheel mounted items including my Roadmaster 2000 Mini-Fridge and Limited Edition 30th Anniversary Mad Max Margarita Machine.
Here's one of many product photos submitted by Amazon customers:
See the full listing, more reviews and more photos at Amazon.com.