Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I started not to post this. You have to question the credibility of a villains list that has room for Gene Hackman's Lex Luthor and Auric Goldfinger but not Keyser Soze, Norman Bates, Eve Harrington, Mr. Potter, Gollum, Amon Goeth, or Noah Cross.
They also got #1 wrong. That slot clearly belongs to Ben Gazzara as Brad Wesley in Road House.
Still -- I like a lot of their picks, and a little controversy never hurts. Who else did they leave out?
24. Khan Noonien Singh - Star Trek: The Wrath Of Khan (1982)
Played by: Ricardo Montalban
A vestige of Earth's late 20th-century eugenics wars, superman Khan has a super ego to match. Banished to a deserted planet in an episode of the 'Star Trek' TV series, Khan seeks revenge on the man who imprisoned him, his nemesis: Capt. James T. Kirk.
21. Alonzo Harris - Training Day (2001)
Played by: Denzel Washington
Over the course of a single day, rogue narcotics agent Harris "evaluates" a rookie (Ethan Hawke) and subjects him to a litany of depredations and humiliations that end in extortion and murder. Washington won a Best Actor Oscar in the role of a streetwise cop on the make who can't distinguish between good and evil anymore.
19. Joan Crawford - Mommie Dearest (1981)
Played by: Faye Dunaway
Dunaway chews more scenery than Secretariat ("No. More. Wire. Hangers!" ring a bell?) and keeps daughter Christina in such a state of abject terror in this camp classic that it's hard to believe the angelic child ever had the strength, years later, to write a dishy, tell-all memoir. Talk about payback.
17. Dr. Christian Szell - Marathon Man (1976)
Played by: Laurence Olivier
Ex-Nazi concentration camp dentist Szell (in a role inspired by the infamous Dr. Mengele) uses a variety of drills, probes and picks to get to the, um, root of the matter when torturing Dustin Hoffman on whether "it's safe" to retrieve his horde of diamonds at a Manhattan bank. Pass the Novocaine, please.
16. Annie Wilkes - Misery (1990)
Played by: Kathy Bates
Wilkes, the unhinged groupie of a famous writer (James Caan), kidnaps her favorite author and heaves a mallet to his ankles like she's A-Rod swinging for the fences. It's part of her mentoring campaign to get him to finish the latest installment of the exploits of her favorite heroine. God help the book club this woman joins.
12. Michael Myers - Halloween (1978)
Played by: Tony Moran
Donning a latex mask (modeled on William Shatner's likeness), man of no words Michael Myers returns to Haddonfield after a 20-year layover in a mental institution for slicing and dicing his sister. Trouble is, this immutable berserker isn't exactly cured. So begins a rampage that spawned a franchise as big as its body count.
9. Max Cady - Cape Fear (1991)
Played by: Robert De Niro
De Niro's take on a redneck illiterate who swears vengeance on his attorney (Nick Nolte) is an homage to Robert Mitchum's version in the '62 original but beats him in badness by sheer physicality -- his Cady is an amped-up, tattooed terror who brutalizes Nolte's legal clerk (Illeana Douglas) ... and likes it.
8. Hans Gruber - Die Hard (1988)
Played by: Alan Rickman
Terrorist Gruber and his money-grubing, er ... grubbing, henchmen seize the Nakatomi Tower in downtown L.A. and take hostages. It's all part of an elaborate feint to swipe millions in negotiable bearer bonds. Hardly a driven ideologue, Gruber's prosaic American dream is to cash in and be "on a beach earning 20 percent."
7. Anton Chigurh - No Country For Old Men (2007)
Played by: Javier Bardem
A hit man with an unpronounceable name and a pageboy hairdo doesn't seem much of a threat, but this homicidal Moe Howard is nobody's stooge -- victims live or die on his coin toss. Bardem won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar as a mercenary who follows his own inscrutable code; woe betide anyone who gets in his way.
5. Joker - The Dark Knight (2008)
Played by: Heath Ledger
Less cartoonish than 'Batman' villains past, Ledger's Joker is the darkest element of 'The Dark Knight.' He says he's the "better class of criminal" Gotham deserves -- and the caked-on clown makeup and disheveled appearance only add to Ledger's brilliantly disturbing portrayal ... sadly, the last role he completed before his untimely death.
4. Hannibal Lecter - The Silence Of The Lambs (1991)
Played by: Anthony Hopkins
Not the guy you want to invite to dinner, Hannibal "The Cannibal" has a gruesome definitation of haute cuisine. 'Silence' won five Oscars, including a Best Actor nod for Hopkins as the cagy psychopath who, though in stir, always seems to be one step ahead of the Feds.
3. Wicked Witch Of The West - The Wizard Of Oz (1939)
Played by: Margaret Hamilton
As Dorothy Gale's (Judy Garland) arch enemy, the Wicked Witch was evil incarnate and gave generations of American kids nightmares. From her army of flying monkeys to her wickedly gleeful cackle, this is still the scariest character you'll find in a "family-friendly" film.
(But a sampling. You'll have to go to Moviefone to see the rest, kiddies)
With all the hoopla surrounding Mel Gibson and his actions lately, there is a good chance that his career as a movie actor has come to an end. Because I like to be helpful, I came up with some ideas of what he might be able to do next with his life.
ELEPHANT POOP CATCHER
He's been catching a lot of shit (and rightly so) for his behavior lately, perhaps he can parlay that into a career.
If nothing else works out for him, he could always become the village idiot. The only trouble with that would be finding a village that is willing to take him.
Ceramic bald Lionel Richie bust wanted
Date: 2010-02-01, 9:40AM CST
However I'd like it to be bald as I intend to recreate that lovable fromullet with some sort of cream cheese dip at parties. Not that I have many parties, but if I had this, I might start. I'd like it to be maybe about a foot tall.
It really has to look like that bust (which oddly enough doesn't look like Lionel Richie at all) or it won't be worth it. Hopefully it can be the same orangish-brown matte finish that is in the video but I understand making it safe for a cheesy-afro might lead to some compromises.
Please email me with a bid including a breakdown the cost of supplies and labor. I can also exchange for computer repair (mac/pc, virus/malware repair, etc) or maybe a 12" G4 iBook,
Thank you to Curtis for informing me that terracotta would not be a good choice for a food-safe sculpture.