Friday, June 25, 2010
Selections from Said In Bed, an amusing website where people send in funny bits of pillow talk. Real or not, they're funny -- but graphic, so read at your own risk.
My thanks to Chris L. for the link.
“Are you done yet? Well, would you mind getting off?”
“Ow ow ow! Wrong one! Wrong one!”
“Your pussy tastes like the effervescent potions you have to drink in Zelda to stay alive.” -- my (now ex) boyfriend to me, the morning after our first night together
“Well, that was nice,” he said
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she replied.
In the middle of a drunken hook up… “Did you have a nice nap?”
I had fallen asleep while he was going down on me.
Just as I’m handing him the condom, he says, “oh, by the way, I gave up sex for Lent…” moments after giving him a HJ.
“You’ve been watching too much ‘Kung Fu Panda.’”
“Who will I have sex with when you’re gone?”
He: “Don’t worry, we’ll bang again.”
Her: “You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet.”
(after he finishes way too quickly) “I mean. You should be flattered.”
As soon as he came, he said, “Now why dont you put your boots on and shake your ass home…”
"I want to eat your clavicle!"
“I’m just looking at your lips and thinking about how many cocks they’ve been wrapped around.”
“Wow. You took it like a champ!” he said.
“Your body is like a big luxurious mansion that I bought, then once I moved in I discovered an amazing secret room that made it so much better. That room is your ass.”
“I wanna suck your nipples until milk comes out,” he said.
"Are you still vegan if you’ve been eating me out for a half an hour?"
"Ugh, I’m not putting that thing in my mouth."
She: “OK, right then, I should get back to the party.”
He: “You’re throwing me out?”
She: “Yeah…we’re done here.”
(Posted by Frank)
Here's a soon-to-be-released video game Privates that, according to the website:
"is a platform twin-stick shooter in which you lead a teeny-tiny gang of condom-hatted marines as they delve into peoples’ vaginas and bottoms and blast away at all manner of oozy, shouty monsters. It’s rude, funny, bitingly satirical and technically pretty accurate if you don’t count the tiny people or the germs with teeth."
Yeah, this video should probably be considered NSFW.