Monday, June 14, 2010

Commercial Of The Day: Orbit

My friend Tom sent me this. I didn't want to watch it because it's over five minutes, but he assured me it was worth it. He was right. Links Of The Day

Try 'em. You'll like 'em.

Alfred Hitchcock Makes A "That's What She Said" Joke

5 Most Requested Celebrity Hairstyles

25 Awesome Killer Robots

WTF? News Story Of The Day: Thelma Lou

This ain't right.

A Mayberry Mugging

(Creative Loafing, 6/10/10): Betty Lou Lynn, 83, was mugged and had her wallet stolen in her new hometown of Mount Airy, N.C., in April.

Lynn is the actress who played Barney Fife's best girl, Thelma Lou, on TV's The Andy Griffith Show and had lived in Los Angeles until she became alarmed at the city's crime rate.

She decided in 2007 to move to the quieter, peaceful Mount Airy, which was Griffith's birthplace and the model for the TV town of Mayberry.

When he heard the news, local mechanic Gomer Pyle said, "Well gawwwwleeeee!"

Vid Of The Day: Mr. T's Life Lessons

Damn, he's smart.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Thanks For Shitting Your Pants

best of craigslist > denver >

Thanks For Shitting Your Pants

Date: 2010-02-09, 10:00AM MST

I was in line at that dreadful Comcast customer service pit to return my modem and cancel service anyway. My mind was made up. For all the reasons I don't have to list here, FUCK COMCAST. My building got wireless service recently. I'm done. The guy on the phone didn't do a good job at saving my account.

"How does $42 a month sound?"

"Can you beat free?" I inquired. I asked him if I could send the modem back in the mail and avoid the trip to their drop-off center.


Whatever. Getting the $56 a month monkey off my back felt good no matter what. I had no regrets at all. You sealed the deal when you shit your pants.

That was seriously nasty. Everyone thought it was the little kid at first, but I knew right away it was you. I know I can't blame Comcast for whatever it is that makes you unable to control your bowels. I know that line was long and the service fairly slow. People have complicated fucking issues with their cable and phone. That line was an audition for the Jerry Springer show (I mean that in a loving way), complete with a woman who shits her pants.

That was unreal, lady, just unreal. I know you did it while you were standing in line because you didn't smell that rotten when I first took my place in line behind you.

Granted, that customer-service counter IS a remarkably good place to shit your pants. The carpet is filthy. The walls have been smeared by the hands of innumerable children. You can't help but notice right away that the customer service agents are behind glass. No big deal, really. I enjoy the pageant of human existence.

But holy fuck that stunk, and the line wasn't going anywhere. Fifteen minutes of that was enough to upset my cast-iron stomach. I trained on a vast underground fish market in Asia. I know what stench is.

I couldn't back up, either. The line had formed behind me in that airless chamber. The room was suffering. People were dying, or silently begging for death. You could see it on the stricken face of the woman who helped you. She went in the back and threw up after you left. First, she came to the agent helping me and asked for "the spray." I guess people shit themselves often there.

The people who have been standing behind me gave me sympathetic looks as I left: I had endured ground zero. My only thought was to get outside as quickly as possible.

But that really sealed the deal for me. If I ever think I might want to go back to Comcast, all I have to do is think about the lady with scanty beard hair shitting her pants in a dingy lobby and I'll return to my senses right away.

PostingID: 1593048210

Pregnancy Tips Of The Day

From the book, Safe Baby Pregnancy Tips (link at bottom of post). The last one is my favorite.

Like it? Buy it!


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