I'm with Mel on this one. Yeah, he's a douche, but that's old news.
Stick around until the very end.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A classic (2006) from The Onion.
Christian Rock Band Cleans Up Hotel Room
WAYCROSS, GA—Hotel staff at the Highway 82 Best Western found the suite occupied over the weekend by members of the Christian rock band Ruggid Krøss swept, dusted, scrubbed, and readied for immediate occupancy.
"Bands have come through here before, but I've never seen anything like this," said housekeeping supervisor Maria Konieczna, who was called to the scene after maids expressed alarm at the carefully mended furniture, retouched bathroom-wall paint, and hospital corners the five-member evangelical group inflicted on the hotel's property.
"The television was lifted up, dusted under, Windexed, and placed carefully back in the cabinet. Plus they apparently had our towels professionally laundered at their own expense. There's nothing in the manual about dealing with this type of propriety."
Hotel staff are attempting to contact Ruggid Krøss' manager to return the six extra Gideon's Bibles they left in the suite's nightstands.
Sorry, chief, she's just not that into you. Some hard truths from Maxim.com.
Ladies, do you agree with these? None of these things ever happened to me, so I have no idea if they're true or not.
If a beautiful girl does any of the following 10 things, you might start thinking she wants you. You might be wrong.
1. She backs her ass up into you while dancing.
All this means is that she’s had about eight Red Bull and vodkas and the DJ just put on some Lil Jon. What! Ye-ah!
2. She invites you to brunch.
A rule of thumb: Eggs and coffee never lead to the bedroom. Brunch after sex, yes; brunch before sex, never.
3. She calls you hysterically crying.
You think by getting intimate with her feelings, she’s showing she wants to be intimate in other ways. Reality: She’d never let on to a guy she wants to sleep with that she’s teetering on the edge of sanity.
4. She compliments you on your sweet new shoes or shades.
She’s not noticing you, she’s noticing new pretty, shiny, fashiony things.
5. She asks you for sex advice.
She’s just trying to find out what that other guy she’s going to blow enjoys.
6. She bums a smoke.
You’re psyched about a few precious minutes alone; she’s suffering your company to feed her soul-crushing addiction.
7. She meets you for drinks wearing sneakers and a ratty old tee.
This is not an attempt to show you her cute sporty look. She honestly doesn’t give a shit whether you find her attractive.
8. She flirts with you — sometimes.
If she goes hot and cold, don’t kid yourself: She’s not playing hard to get; she’s just keeping you hanging on in case she can’t get anyone she likes better.
9. She invites you to a boring event, like a play.
Could Mamma Mia! be so excruciating that no one else would go with her? Bingo.
10. She seductively eats a banana or ice cream cone in front of you.
Sorry, guy, but there’s just no other way to eat these things.