Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Hilariously Painful Animal Attacks Of The Day

I love a good animal attack, don't you? Pics from The Courteous Chihuahua.


OUCH!


D'OH!


CHOMP!


WHAP!


EEEEK!


OOOF!


SMACK!


The fuck you lookin' at?


CRUNCH!


BIFF POW!


SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!


SLAPCLANG!


ZOINKS!


FLAPFLAPFLAP!


EERRRRIIINNNNNKK


SCREEEEEEEEEEEKKK!


WHAM! (UK)


RRRIP!


FUCK OFF!!!


DUHHH DUM... DUHHH DUM...


QOTD: The Opposite Sex




What's the one thing you like most about the opposite sex? The least?

One thing for each, please -- not a laundry list. I want you to make a choice.

Thanks.


Answering Machine Message Of The Day

All you teachers will appreciate this, even if it's not real. From Laura in the Caymans.


Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Soil My Oats

From Juicy S. Trixx.

tri-cities, WA > personals > casual encounters


Man seeking woman to soil my oats with - m4w - 25 (KPR sournds)


Date: 2010-02-05, 12:59PM PST
I am a male who is seeking full attention of a woman of the ages 18 to 35. who i will please untill she has her most vigerating orgasim that she has ever had.

So if you are in the quest for the best please send me an email. becasue i aim to please you or fail tragically. Which will not happen. so if you would be so kind as to email me a pic of you and when and where t meet i will try my best to please you.

please put somthing in the subject bow that has to do with the tri cities please so i know you are real.

PostingID: 1587698027


Who I pictured as I read this:


Guest Post Of The Day: Rhymes With Larry Jay

Not long ago I posted a Craigslist ad about a clown (literally) who sells Mary Kay makeup products. Then I remembered that my friend Amy once posted an amusing tale about her run-in with MK, and thought you might enjoy reading it. If not, eat me.



Last week I was having lunch with my mom when this perky little thing approached our table.

Excuse me, she sang, I hope you don’t think I’m crazy but my friend and I over there were talking about how gorgeous your eyes are!

Thank you, I said, that’s very nice of you.

Well I was just wonderin’ if you would be interested in helpin’ me out? I need a face model…

Now, flattering as that was, I was skeptical to say the least. As much as I’d like to claim that people stop me in restaurants all the time to tell me how pretty my eyes are, they don’t. So I wasn’t quite ready to run home and tell all my friends how I’d just gotten discovered at the Golden Rule BBQ and that at 41 my modeling career was finally going to be launched…

What do you want me to do? I asked Perky.

Well we would just do your makeup and take your pitcher.

I told her I didn’t mind but that I lived in a different city.

Omahgaaawd! Me toooo! (Apparently we weren’t just neighbors we were also soul mates) Would you mind givin’ me your phone number?

She handed me a business card. The card was not from a famous modeling agency, but from a cosmetics company famous for its in-home parties.

She leaves the table with the promise of calling me the next day. When she does call, it’s more flattery. I thank her again and then ask what it is she wants me to do. She says she can come to my house or I can meet her at her “training center.” I say I prefer to meet her. We agree on a day and time, but before the conversation ends I tell her that I have no problem helping her out if she needs to demonstrate her products, but that I am not in the market to purchase anything.

Oh, noooo! You’d be helping me soooo much! She is singing again.

Fine. We end the conversation with pleasantries and her promise of a goody bag for me for my troubles.


(Story continues
here)



Classic Video Of The Day: Pulp Muppets

Amusing, in a creepy sort of way. From Randy.


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