Thursday, January 28, 2010

Primer Of The Day: How To Suck At Facebook

A funny from The Oatmeal.





See the rest at The Oatmeal.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Seeking Eunuch (NSFW)

And I thought I'd heard them all. I'll have to look up the Cincinnati Bow Tie.

And no, all you would-be comedians, I did not reply. My junk is intact and staying that way, thanks.



best of craigslist > madison >



Seeking Eunuch


Date: 2009-11-29, 12:52PM CST


I have been in the pornographic films industry for several years and I'm so sick and tired of dicks I can hardly stand it! If you have no genitals or are willing to have them removed then you may be the man for me.

I do not like and absolutely refuse to take part in any of the following:
blowjobs
rimjobs
footjobs
buttjobs
vaginajobs
dirty sanchez
blumpkins
strawberry shortcake
flaming dragon
Houdini
donkey punch
cincinati bowtie
gasmask
hot lunch
golden showers
cleaveland steamer
the Paul Rubins
gramma sophie's curtains
the Pittsburg landfill
I'm a mac and I'm a pc
how to lose a guy in ten gays
or any other sexual act of any kind.

If this sounds like your idea of a good time then get in touch.

serious inquiries only. No weirdos please.



PostingID: 1486755048


Concert Lineup Of The Day

My pal TheMovieGuru is on a Disney World e-mail list and just forwarded me this slate of concerts the Mouse is foisting on gullible morons all too eager to part with their hard-earned money.

Good god almighty, check out this shitfest. I thought half these people were dead. This is worse even than the Classic Chastain Series we get every year here in the ATL. At least that usually has one or two shows you might consider seeing (even if you don't). Not this one. A big fat FAIL from top to bottom.

The only way it could suck more is if they added Celine Dion, Anne Murray and/or Kenny Loggins to the mix. Or Nickelsac.

"Subject to change," it says, so you'll know what to pray for.



The tentative list of performers for the Flower Power Concerts to be held during the upcoming Epcot International Flower & Garden Festival this March 3-May 16 has been updated again. The current list, subject to change, is:

March 5-7 - Jose Feliciano

March 12-14 - Paul Revere and the Raiders

March 19-21 - David Cassidy (and his legendary porksword)

March 26-28 - Starship Starring Mickey Thomas (starring? really?)

April 2-4 - Tony Orlando

April 9-11 - Herman's Hermits Starring Peter Noone (as in "No-one" wants to see him)

April 16-18 - The Nelsons (who's that? Those two blond twins?)

April 23-25 - Atlanta Rhythm Section Suction

April 30-May 2 - Fran Cosmo (former lead singer of Boston) (with apologies to Brad Delp)

May 7-9 - Davy Jones

May 14-16 - Chubby Checker & The Wildcats (didn't he die in New Orleans?)


7 Classic Movie Scenes You Didn't Know Were Improvised (NSFW)

From Spike TV. Link from Seth C.

Scriptwriting isn't easy. Some people spend months trying to perfect a specific scene, trying to write that perfect line that sticks in the mind of those who hear it. Then these guys come along and do it off the top of their heads. -- Marc Russel


THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

The Moment:



How it played out:

Anthony Hopkins' performance as the insane doctor Hannibal Lecter is by far his most notorious. He got an Oscar for the part in spite of only having 24 minutes of screen time -- just because he's that creepy. The above clip shows probably his most famous line from the film. While this line was in fact in the script, his hissing after was not, and surprised everyone on set particularly Jodie Foster. That disturbed look on her face there? That wasn't acting - she was genuinely creeped out.


TAXI DRIVER

The Moment:



How it played out:

Every great movie has one line or moment that will forever be associated with that film. In Taxi Driver, that line is "You talkin' to me?" It actually became referenced in pop culture so often it was declared by the American Film Institute to be the tenth greatest movie quote of all time. It wasn't even in the script. De Niro was just supposed to spend a moment looking menacingly at his reflection in the mirror. Instead he spent a full minute threatening it out loud.


THE SHINING

The Moment:



How it played out:

Like the above Taxi Driver quote, this line will always be linked to its movie in the cultural unconscious. Like the above quote, it's on the AFI's best quotes list. And like the above quote, it was totally improvised. All Jack Nicholson was supposed to do was break the door down, but he figured that wasn't quite pants-crappingly insane enough, so he screamed the then-famous intro to The Tonight Show. It didn't even make sense in context, since his character's name was Jack Torrance. But holy hell was it effective.


FULL METAL JACKET

The Moment:



How it played out:

R. Lee Ermey was actually a real drill sergeant originally hired to be a technical advisor. When he asked to be allowed to audition for the part, Stanley Kubrick said he didn't seem mean enough for it. Ermey responded by sending him a 15-minute video clip of him standing in front of a camera screaming an endless stream of insults at some Marines while being pelted with tennis balls. It's not entirely clear why he was being pelted with tennis balls, but it was probably to prove a point about how completely balls-to-the-wall insane he was. Almost the entire scene where the sergeant was introduced was made up on the spot. Partway through, Kubrick had to stop the filming to ask Ermey what the hell a "reach-around" was.

It's worth noting that that isn't the only part of the movie that was improvised. About half of all the lines the Drill Sergeant has were completely made up on the spot. Kubrick estimates that about 150 pages of the script were just off the top of Ermey's head.

(See the rest at Spike.com)


Vid Of The Day: iPad (NSFW)

You knew it was coming. What you didn't know is that this was made in 2006 by the visionaries at Mad TV. Apple needs to put them on retainer.


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