I still don't understand how Jay could get promoted because of his own ineptitude, but that's exactly what's happening. NBC, you suck. No wonder your ratings are laughable.
A 2004 clip from Funny Or Die.
Monday, January 18, 2010
No, not a lesbian porno, but my girlfriend Kristen Wiig reading from a book of poetry by Suzanne Somers.
Good stuff from Lindsey.
More funny vids from Babelgum:
VH1 Reality Show Bus Crash (thanks, Frank and Mr. Minimac)
Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis: Conan O'Brien
Disney's Jewish-American Princess & The Frog
A fine blog entry from FOLOTD Elliott, who graciously agreed to let me repost it here. Enjoy.
LIFE WITH MIKEY
Life is not simple. It is not a choice between cherry red and midnight blue. And with all the decisions of life weighing on me and threatening to set off the old ticker like a time bomb, the last thing I need to decide is which of the 83.7 pre-programmed options on the microwave to use.
I don't typically cook in the microwave. I have pans and pots and a nice stove and the wherewithal to use them all in conjunction with one another to produce edible, if not downright delicious, creations. No, the microwave in my life has three simple uses, for which I need two buttons, total.
First, the 'Minute Plus' button. When I make the steam-in-the-bag veggies, reheat leftovers, or melt cheese on tortilla chips, or for the occasional Ceremonial Boiling of the Water (the 'CBW') for flavored gelatin desserts, TheraFlu or (gasp) Cup-o-Ramen, I can press this as many times as I need to make the nuclear magic happen.
Second, the 'Popcorn' button. Sure, I could over-simplify and use the 'Minute Plus' again, but that would actually require me to remember time to time how long popcorn takes, and I'm just not that into it.
(Post continues here)
I guess it's a good thing that girls today have a lot more Barbie choices today than my sisters did back in the 70s, but some of these are a bit much, don't you think? Luckily, not all of them are real.
Instructions: "To make your Amy Winehouse Barbie more lifelike, scrape it on the pavement for 2-3 minutes, then dip in a mixture of bacon grease and gin. Adult supevision required." Not real -- yet.
Barbie's whore friend. (Real.)
Illogical. No girl would send Barbie to the prom with this.
ROSIE (BARBIE'S FRIEND)
This one's real, sadly -- they had a bunch of these left over from the 70s, so they just did a repaint.
It doesn't talk. Thank god.
LITTLE DEBBIE BARBIE
If she keeps eating those she's gonna turn into Rosie Barbie.
It sings "Crocodile Rock," the most annoying song in the world. Still, better that than "Step Into Christmas."
THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST
Looks just like her. What kid would want this? Seriously.
They wanted to make it anatomically correct, but couldn't decide which parts to give it. (Not real. More here.)
It's fake. I've never been so happy to type those words.
BECKY, BARBIE'S FRIEND
A nice idea -- a doll for girls in wheelchairs (or anyone else) -- but it was recalled when a kid pointed out that doll and chair wouldn't fit in the elevator in Barbie's Dream House. True story.
They gave her far too many clothes.
PALM BEACH SUGAR DADDY KEN
Not interested in Barbie.
CAROL BURNETT IN "WENT WITH THE WIND"
I love this one, but it's clearly for adults. No kid will know what the hell this is about.
LEG MAN TROY
My daughter made this for me over the weekend using parts from her Troy (High School Musical) doll. I always figured Troy for an ass man, not a leg man.
UPDATE: a few more from you, my dear resourceful readers...
GAY COCK RING EARRING MAGIC KEN
From Anonymous. See the comments for an explanation.
GROWING UP SKIPPER
From Daisy. Twist Skipper's arm and watch her boobs inflate.
From The Courteous Chihuahua, who saw this one at a junk store but refused to pay $10 for whatever the fuck it is.