Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Impressionist Of The Day (video)

No, not famous painters. What are you, nuts? This is LOTD, not MOMA.

No, this dude does impressions and he's pretty darn good. From College Humor.



Un-Words Of The Day

The source is legit but I'm not sure how old these are. They sho' is funny, though. From Berit.

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The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Crazy Beyotch Of The Day: Bad Burger (video)

What the hell is it with people at fast food joints lately? So much anger. Sigh. Can't we all just get along?

She should've gone to Burger King. They'll hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, because special orders don't upset us them.

Links from Harmony.


Woman Denied Burger Refund Trashes A McDonald's


(USA Today) A McDonald's customer who didn't like her hamburger and did not get a refund threw a fit and caused several thousand dollars' damage at an outlet in Kansas City, Mo.

Security cameras captured the woman's Dec. 27 rampage, which included throwing a glass water dispenser over the counter, pushing three cash registers to the floor and throwing a sign, the Kansas City Star writes.

She cursed and fled.

Employees had offered to replace her burger but she refused, demanding a refund instead.

Police are looking for her and have received some tips.






Movie Trailer Of The Day: Hot Ticket

Sweet Jesus, my dream has come true. I am so there.

Ya know, I gotta say it. Celine looks kinda hot here. I'd totally introduce her to Mr. Thumpy.

Thanks, Lefty, for the heads-up. You are my hero.



Top 10 Celebrity Douchebags Of The Day

From Crave Online. The list is a couple of years old, but all the douchebags are still douchebags. Here are five; visit their site for the other five. Their list, their copy, so don't whine to me about how much you love Ben Stiller, okay? (Cue Frank and/or Samsmama whining about how much they love Ben Stiller.)

#6 – TYRA BANKS



I liked Tyra Banks better back when she wasn’t saying shit. Now all of the sudden she’s the new Oprah. Personally, I am of the opinion that one Oprah was already one too many. Tyra Banks has two shows on TV in which she dispenses bad advice to desperate girls and woman despite being crazier than a shithouse rat. And what’s with that fivehead she’s sporting? She looks like a black conehead. Please, for the love of god, would someone ship her back home to Remulak?

#9 – MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY



It’s time you put a shirt on, jackass. Not everyone has time to work out 37 times a day. I’m sick to death of this guy making me look bad at the beach, and then compounding my dislike of him by putting out at least two horribly unwatchable romantic formula comedies every goddamn year. And lose the hick drawl for chrissakes, you’ve been living in L.A. for like 100 years already. No one’s buying it.

#3 – BEN STILLER



I am at the absolute limit of my tolerance for Ben Stiller. I would rather eat a sackful of empty beer bottles than watch another one of his movies. I would rather clean the floor of a bus station men's room with my tongue. I would rather spend an entire workweek with a handful of razor blades down my pants than ever see even so much as a rudimentary drawing of his mugging, monkey face, ever again. That’s how much I hate Ben Stiller.

#10 – SARAH SILVERMAN



Sarah Silverman is one of those comedians that everybody claims to like because she is so “edgy” and her material is so “controversial”. In reality, Sarah Silverman is neither, unless Paris Hilton and Britney Spears jokes are what you consider edgy. When Sarah performed at the VMAs last year, it was perhaps the most awkwardly silent crowd ever seen at an award show. And it wasn’t because they were shocked or offended, but simply because it just wasn’t funny. Silverman couldn’t even last a single season on “Saturday Night Live”, which is probably the least funny show on television.

#5 – ANYBODY THAT HAS EVER HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH AMERICAN IDOL



That includes people who watch it and talk about it all the damn time. American Idol is basically a bad karaoke show that conjures up the spirit of “Star Search”, minus any possibility of being entertained. This is a show that has forced upon us Ryan Seacrest, Clay Aiken, Simon Cowell, William Hung, Sanjaya and the reanimated corpse of Paula Abdul. It is singlehandedly responsible for making our entire nation stupider, and may even be responsible for the collapse of the music industry as a whole. So, the next time you wanna talk about American Idol, do us all a favor, please, and shut yer cakehole.

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