Thursday, December 2, 2010

News Story Of The Day: Shoplifters Hid Goods Under Fat Rolls

From Caroline, who says, "My self-esteem just went up. I could not compete with 4 pairs of boots, 3 pairs of jeans, gloves, and a wallet--and I have really big boobs."

What's a Shmeco?


Women Accused of Hiding Stolen Goods Under Body Fat


(Dec. 1) -- Plenty of people keep cash in their billfolds. But police in Oklahoma say two women tried to steal $2,600 worth of valuables under their skin folds.

Cops in Edmond arrested Ailene Brown, 28, and Shmeco Thomas, 37, on suspicion of shoplifting after the pair allegedly stuffed $2,600 worth of footwear, denim and accessories under rolls of fat on their stomachs and beneath their breasts.

"These two individuals were actually concealing them in areas of their body where excess skin was, underneath their chest area and up around their armpits," Officer James Hamm told KFOR.com.

The suspects allegedly attempted to use their bodies to stash four pairs of boots, three pairs of jeans, as well as gloves and a wallet, according to NYDailyNews.com.

Investigators say Brown was carrying a knife in her purse so she could cut the tags off stolen goods.

The suspects allegedly managed to hide the goods, but apparently their plan wasn't fleshed out. They were arrested before they could make it out of the T.J. Maxx store and hit with felony shoplifting charges.

17 comments:

  1. I'm really curious about these "accessories." I mean, for $2,600 you could buy everything inside your average T.J. Maxx, a store my husband once described as carrying "broken shit and fucked up shirts."

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  2. did somebody say 'big boobs'?

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  3. All they needed was one more big score and they was out... quittin' the life for good, see? They wuz gonna get that little place upstate and do crafts. I guess it wasn't in the cards.

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  4. A friend convince me to lose wight before going to a shopping spree tomorrow. I should have done the exact opposite. I wouldn't shoplift, but those rolls surely can hold some bags.

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  5. Three boots concealed under her breasts and bra!! Oh my word! I can't even picture that in my head. Just think how uncomfortable that must have been. HA HA HA! She must have really wanted those boots!

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  6. I wonder if they checked to see if they were trying to steal umbrellas.

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  7. "but apparently their plan wasn't fleshed out." Haw, someone likes puns...

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  8. So you can fit 3 pairs of jeans, 4 pairs of boots, a pair of gloves, and a wallet under FAT ROLLS, but you have to carry your knife in your purse?

    My nurse friend says during her training she gave a bath to a lady that had 3 cheeseburgers, 4 Reese's Cups, 2 apple turnovers, and a 6 inch sub hidden under her boobs. She was being treated for severe diabetes and didn't like the food they were giving her.

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  9. I stole an XBox once. Hid it under my balls.

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  10. Not really. I'm not a thief. I hate thieves.

    If they were smart they would've tried this in Saudi Arabia and gotten their fat rolls cut off for stealing. Instant weight loss.

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  11. See now I know I'm a useless pop culture sponge. All I could think of when reading this was the old joke about the fat lady trying to shoplift food from a grocery store

    A friend of mine saw two huge black women come in a Winn-Dixie grocery store wearing large overcoats. The women rushed through the store and proceeded to stuff their coats with everything in sight: chips, cookies, bags of rice, bricks of cheese, etc. One of them had stuffed a large carving ham in her coat, and as she was rushing through the store, the ham slipped out onto the floor. She glared around suspiciously, defensively and said to anyone who might hear, "Who threw that ham at me?"

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  12. I just hope those items didn't go back onto the store shelves. Poor cop..."chest area". Dude...just say "breasts"!! It's not a dirty word! Wonder if they had bras tucked into their shoes. I love the umbrella comment from fellow fan. And really: "Shmeco?" Sounds like a place to get your shoes shined and soles repaired/replaced; or more aptly, in this case, their "souls". The numerous puns I could make with this story have me dizzy. It's just the pits! But you know, one needs to keep abreast (or two) of these things. Maybe I'm just being anal-retentive...?

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  13. I'm with Margaret - please don't let those things go back on the shelves. I can really do without accessories that have been under her sweaty breasts. Talk about some bad funk.

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  14. It's T.J. Maxx, they went back on the shelves.

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  15. There is nothing worth stealing at T.J. Maxx.

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