Friday, November 12, 2010

Worst Celebrity Wax Figures of the Day

I absolutely love wax museums and make it a point to visit them whenever possible. Not all wax figures are created equal, however, as evidenced by the following truly awful specimens. All pics from Supertremendous. - Bev

SANDRA BULLOCK

On the left we see America's Sweetheart at age 89 in a psych ward somewhere. She's no doubt remembering the good old days when she'd don her favorite tutu and cop a squat where ever she felt like it.

JULIA ROBERTS

More like Rupert Everett.

JIM CARREY

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

JACK NICHOLSON

Looking very... special.

HULK HOGAN

Wait, which one is made of wax? It's hard to tell.

DREW BARRYMORE

Um, yeah. Sure it is. (Or Janis Joplin.)

BRUCE WILLIS

He looks like he should be in a cornfield scaring away crows.

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

It's hard to be Born To Run without any feet, eh Boss?

BILL CLINTON

Bill always did enjoy the random pussy, but still. Fail!

JENNIFER ANISTON

Or Laura Linney. Either way.

(See more at Supertremendous.)

15 comments:

  1. Great post, B. Love the captions.

    That Sandra pic looks like she's taking a whiz behind a car in the parking lot after the Van Halen concert.

    The Springsteen looks like Dana Carvey doing Springsteen.

    The Jack Nicholson figure looks like a ventriloquist's doll. You can stick your hand up its butt and make it say, "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!"

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  2. Good one, Bevaroo!

    Bruce Willis looks like Marshall from How I Met Your Mother. And you are spot on with the Anniston/Linney comparison. Before I read the comment that's exactly what I was thinking.

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  3. Ok those things scare the hell out of me.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

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  4. Wax Sandra has GINORMOUS man hands! I thought having a wax model of yourself was supposed to be flattering. Bill Clinton looks like Corky on "Life Goes On" and Bruce Willis looks like Judge Reinhold. Julia Roberts reminds me of the drag queen Santana who performs at Mad Donna's in Nashville.

    Nice work, Bev! Wax on!

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  5. Anything that denigrates Julia Roberts works for me. That is a great Laura Linney, a shitty Jennifer Aniston.

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  6. Sandy looks like Sam Neill in drag.

    What Woodwoman said.

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  7. Tsanks, all!

    Mary, I almost made a Jason Segel (Marshall) joke about the Bruce Willis one, too! I totally see it.

    I'm giggling over Sandra's man hands and Bill as Corky! You guys crack me up!

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  8. What the HELL is Jack doing with his hands?

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  9. Is it just me, or does the Mugshot not look like a certain recent president. (Maybe it is his bar hopping disguise. He must be down after events in Arlington.)

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  10. I'm sure that's Laura Linney. I thing the hallmark of a bad wax museum is that each work is clearly labeled, or obviously accompanied by something so iconic that any other conclusion seems silly (like David Hasselhoff posing with an '83 Trans Am).

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  11. I'm with Cary, I got Dana Carvey off the Faux-steen.

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  12. Yes! Springsteen = Dana Carvey! And Bruce W. totally looks like the love child of Jason Segel and Judge Reinhold.

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  13. Lucky for me I've only been to one wax museum so far, and *most* of its figures are actually quite good. It's part of a triple-feature of tourist traps in Newport, Oregon along with a (lame) Ripley's Believe It or Not and the (less lame) Undersea Gardens, where you can watch divers feed wolf eels. If you've never seen a wolf eel but you have seen The Fifth Element, just imagine an eight-foot-long eel with the face of an earless Mangalor and way more teeth than you've got...pretty much anything, really. My personal fave in that waxworks is still their surprisingly awesome Frankenstein's monster, though Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry isn't too bad either.

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