Where were these ladies when I was 17 and horny? Oh, that's right--they weren't born yet.
From COED Magazine.
AMBER JENNINGS
Age at time of offense: 30
Location: Dudley, MA
Occupation: High School English Teacher
Lover: 16 year-old male student
Crime: Emailing nude pictures and video of herself to a former student. Pled guilty to “disseminating harmful materials to a minor.”
Sentence: 2 years probation
CAMEO PATCH
Age at time of offense: 29
Location: Toole County, UT
Occupation: Suckbstitute Teacher
Lover: 17 year-old male student
Crime: Performing oral sex on a minor. Charged with unlawful sexual conduct and lewdness.
Sentence: $2000 fine, 36 months probation and ordered to obtain a psycho-sexual evaluation.
REBECCA DAWN BOGARD
Age at time of offense: 27
Location: Biloxi, MI
Occupation: High School Teacher
Lover: 16 year-old male student
Crime: Sent explicit text messages and trysted with the victim in her white Jaguar, which bore the license plate “GRRRRR.”
Sentence: Facing felony sexual battery charges.
AMY McELHENNEY
Age at time of offense: 25
Location: Austin, TX
Occupation: High School Spanish Teacher
Lover: 18-year-old student
Crime: Charged with having an improper relationship with a student, a second-degree felony.
Sentence: A conviction on a second-degree felony could result in up to 20 years in prison
Odd Fact: Competed in the 2002 Miss Texas pageant after she was crowned Miss Bexar County.
CARRIE McCANDLESS
Age at time of offense: 29
Location: Jefferson County, CO
Occupation: High School English Teacher
Lover: 17 year-old male student
Crime: Having sex with a minor during a school sponsored camping trip to the Rockies. Pleaded guilty to tampering with evidence and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
Sentence: 45 days in days in prison, 5 years probation, 1 – two year deferred sentence, 1 – 4 year deferred sentence and 10 year registration as a sex offender.
Odd Fact: Carrie’s husband was the school’s principal.
(See the rest at COED Magazine.)
Blame Bunions on your Genes
1 day ago
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Cameo Patch sounds like something a stripper would wear. For a while, at least.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Cameo's victim wasn't the one who filed charges. Unless it was really bad oral sex. (Is oral sex EVER really bad when you're 17?)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I had a teacher who was anywhere near as hot as most of these ladies. They were all old, moley, with jacked up hair and droopy pantyhose.
I did have a gym teacher once who looked like K.C. from the Sunshine Band. (But he was much less sparkly.)
I was thinking something along those lines as well, Stuart, ya perv. And she looks a lot like an English teacher I had in high school. Who's probably 75 now.
ReplyDeleteSeriously? Cameo Patch? Sheesh.
ReplyDeleteut oh! Almost all these women are blondes...proving once again, that we do have more fun! ;)
ReplyDeleteangela comer and tamara hoover are 2 more with names that should work. those kids must be legends in their schools (aside from billy flynn who is just an idiot).
ReplyDeleteAaah, that brings me back the memories of losing my flower to the lovely Mrs. Cwach. We were so wild behind the card catalog that we broke the chain on her reading glasses.
ReplyDeleteCameo Patch sound like something to cover your Misty Hymen
ReplyDeleteI guess this post gives new meanings to the terms, "teacher's pet," and earning "extra credit."
ReplyDeleteY'know what the sad part is, Cary? Cougars (the older women, not the Puma concolor) are typically 25-30 years older than their male prey, which puts your English teacher right in range for guys our age. Godammit.
ReplyDeletewv: wingless - something she is not, and by that I'm referring to Bingo Wings. flapflapflap ...
Bingo Wings! That's new to me! My wife calls them Relief Society Arms. It's a Mormon thing (the RS, not the arms).
ReplyDeleteThanks for that, Stuart. I'm strengthening my vocab every day!
Cameo Patch, Misty Hymen, Bingo Wings...this post has it all.
ReplyDeleteI full on snorted at the "GRRRRR" license plate. I mean, really.
Cameo Patch!! Sound like something you would wear on your shoulder to redouche your cravings for high school boys. Doesn't look like it worked very well.
ReplyDeleteHelloooooooo Amy....
ReplyDeleteEr, I mean, inappropriate. Ahem.
Bingo wings. I had to look that one up. I'm happy to say it wasn't what I originally thought it might be.
ReplyDeleteWe call the Oprah Arms 'round these parts.
ReplyDeleteThem, not the. Stupid wine.
ReplyDeleteYa know, felon orange with a crisp white tee isn't a bad look for a chick, depending on her coloring. Carrie rocks it like a hurricane.
ReplyDeleteEw... I HATE the word lover. I have the same reaction to the word moist.
ReplyDeleteKate, don't be hatin' on a moist lover.
ReplyDeleteI hate the word trousers. Ditto slacks, eatery, fixin's, and vis-à-vis. Don't say vis-à-vis to me. I will rip out your throat.
ReplyDeleteI love the word corn.
Bev, I'm puking.
ReplyDeleteI love the word snatch, but only when used as a noun, as in "Is that your gun up her snatch?"
--Angel Heart
Why is it that female offenders are always okay looking? The men? Always disgusting. Not fair.
ReplyDeleteBev- "Oprah Arms"!!!!!!
How does a 27 year-old High School teacher drive a Jaguar?
ReplyDeleteA male teacher at my local high school was arrested today for having an improper relationship with a student.
I had a series of silly crushes on my male teachers in HS, but it was never more than a fascination with an intelligent man who treated me kindly. Nothing near this spicy, however. I don't think I even knew what oral sex was in HS...!
ReplyDeleteVis-a-vis.
ReplyDeleteI was wrong. I guessed Frank or Smama, not Sandi.
ReplyDeleteWell the combination of the term "Oprah arms" and the picture of Steve Perry (vis-a-vis the mugshot of yesterday) up there has a particular Journey song going through my head vis-a-vis the Open Arms.
ReplyDeleteEven when I was a 20 something divorcee' teaching high school kids was I ever remotely attracted to any of the kids I taught - in fact, I found (and still do) most of them to look like accidents of nature, I firmly believe that high school kids "got ugly" after I graduated in '95.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Vickie. Teens are so ugly. I see them walking home from the high school near our house, all gawky and pimpled and wearing horrible trendy clothes and hairstyles to fit in. I always think, hang in there, you poor bastard, it'll be over soon.
ReplyDeleteRich Girl Red said...
ReplyDeleteIs oral sex EVER really bad when you're 17?
Picture a very enthusiastic young woman with her new braces and no actual experience going down on a guy using some tips she read in Cosmo.
I would've been better off dropping a running weed whacker on my crotch.
theres a teacher at my school who is very attractive, and probably every single guy has a crush on her, and the girls are jealous. But just to let you know she seems to be a puma, you know a younger version of a cougar.
ReplyDelete