Friday, June 11, 2010

Time-Waster of the Day: Openbook

Openbook is a website which allows you to search for keywords from the Facebook status reports of random strangers. In related news, if this isn't a reminder to check your security settings on Facebook, I don't know what is.

From Bev.

Here are some of my faves (click to enlarge):

I hope the worm is okay.

Country roads take me home... to a place where fe-mullets and butt cuts belong.

Good thing she clarified. That would have kept me up all night.

Now, maybe. Wait till it starts growing back in.

Um, pass. But thanks!

Slow day at Dunder-Mifflin?

This is the face of a girl with chronic diarrhea.

Your Social Security dollars at work. So Grandma will be eating cat food for the rest of the month, it's all worth it to get this chick back on the road, right?

A nail in your hair is bad enough, but a fat ass one? FYL, definitely.

There, there, sad mohawk'd clown. Maybe you'd feel better if you wore no pants. I always do.

Don't be silly, your boobs are the best thing about you. I hate you for other reasons.

At least now he'll have more time to practice his karat-ay.

But they did wonders for your spelling, clearly.

God knows what kinds of nests you might find in those shrubs! Just be careful; wouldn't want to lop off anything important while pruning.

Happy searching! Do it now before people get wise.


  1. Oh my! I have to wonder what some people are thinking when they update their statuses.

    "I hope the worm is okay." AHA HA HA HA HA HA!

    Great post! :D

  2. Ahaha! Those are great but what's better are your search terms Cary. Ditto on being a great post!

  3. I'm guessing that it wasn't Bev who searched on "eat poop."

  4. Actually, Frank... that was me.


  5. Wasn't me, and probably wasn't Bev, either. Many of the topics are random searches from other people that pop up when you visit the site.

  6. Hilarious!! I never cease to be amazed at what sort of personal and/or "TMI" content people will share on these social networking sites. And they never learn!

    That being said, I'm all for the exploitation of the resultant material (and strangers) for entertainment purposes. Of course, it's really Cary'sCaptions(TM) that take this stuff to a whole 'nuther level of funny.

    "sad mohawk'd clown" - bwhahaha!

  7. Thanks but this is all Bev. All I did was find some pictures. The wit is all her!

  8. If Karate Kid works at Meijer he has bigger problems than that hours-stealing bitch.

  9. Searched for "genital warts". It appears there are a lot of people leaving their computers logged in to facebook.

    Nice find, Bev!

  10. Jeez, this convinces me - stay away from Facebook and Twitter. If only blogging is old school, then guilty as charged. Who needs this drival.

  11. Lefty, I thought the same thing when doing some of these searches. So many status updates were clearly a result of innocently leaving your FB page open on your computer!

    (Incidentally, I've been known to helpfully update my friend's statuses for them from time to time, especially if there is drinking involved!)

    Thanks, and glad you guys liked it!

  12. Well then I shall give credit where credit is due; that was a fantabulous post/find Bev, bravissimo!

    wv: 'hempa' should not-a be illegal.

  13. You're not my friend anymore... the search defaulted to "Herpes" for me.

    I am not happy.

    (just kidding I thought it was hilarious)

  14. I think what we need next is a "Creepy FB profile photos" list. I'm not even reading the statuses anymore.... have you SEEN what these people put up as their photos? On purpose, no less!? (Well, unless Bev was "helping" them with those, too...)

  15. Haha, Mikki, I agree! Nope, I didn't have to help these folks look creepy at all, it was all their own doing. :)

  16. Dunder Mifflin, for the mother effing win!

    Great post, LA Bev! (when did that happen?)

  17. "Richard Mandango loves anal fisting.
    3 hours ago"

  18. Smama - I tried it on for size. Didn't like it.

    Anon - HA!!! Rock on, Dick.



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