Thursday, March 4, 2010

"Yo Momma" Jokes Of The Day

A great idea from Amy H.

Yo momma so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her

Yo momma so fat, she wakes up in sections

Yo momma got a glass eye with a fish in it

Yo momma so old, she owes Jesus three bucks

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

Yo momma's glasses so thick, when she looks at a map she can see people waving.

Yo momma so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers

Yo momma's teeth so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice

Yo momma so ugly, she could scare the flies off a shit wagon

Yo momma so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur

Yo momma so greasy, her freckles slipped off

Yo momma so poor, her face is on the front of a food stamp

Yo Momma so fat, when she sat on a quarter, she squeezed a booger outta George Washington's nose

Yo momma so ugly, her pillow cries at night

Yo momma so hairy, she has dreadlocks on her back

Yo momma so fat, her belly button has an echo

Yo momma so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing it back"

Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"

Yo momma so dirty, she sat in the tub and all the water jumped out

Yo momma so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth

Yo momma so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo momma so ugly, she makes blind children cry

Yo momma's teeth so crooked, it looks like her tongue is in jail

Yo momma so fat, that when she wears high heels, she strikes oil

Yo momma so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup

Yo momma so skinny, she only has one stripe on her pajamas

Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, she can butter a whole loaf of bread

Yo mamma so old, her social security number is 1

Yo mamma so fat, when she hauls ass she has to make three trips

Yo momma so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks

Yo momma so poor, burglars break in her house and leave money

Yo momma so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop

Yo momma so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it

Yo momma so fat, she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "


  1. Jeebus h crikey, that give-it-up-lady jeans pic is freaking me out. Off to do some ab crunches now.

  2. Your mama's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

  3. Those poor, poor jeans. That buttons gonna hurt someone when it pops off.

  4. I'll put these in my cell phone for easy access next time I'm taunted. That'll help.

  5. Denim is a strong material but geez Louise--don't put that kind of pressure on it!

    My favorite: Yo momma so fat the back of her head looks like a pack of hotdogs.

  6. Yo momma so hairy, it looks like she's got Don King in a headlock.

    Yo momma so fat, after We had sex I rolled over twice and was still on top of her.

  7. Funny list! My favorite was "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!" :D

  8. OMG Cary - was not prepared for that 3rd picture! I haven't been awake that long and I haven't had coffee yet, I almost died. srsly

  9. FUKIN EHH! this site is hilarious mother fucker
    your MUMMAs so fat when she jumped in the air she got stuck.

  10. dude...check this one out....

    Yo Momma is so fat that when she jumped for joy and landed, she created another set of tectonic plates...XD


  11. Yo mamma so ugly that Bob the Builder came and said "I can't fix that."

  12. Wow these r so hilarious I could read these all day long ombf!!!!!!

  13. yo mama so fat that by the time i graduate i will be done walkin around her.

  14. yo mama so fat that by the time i graduate i will be done walkin around her



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