I almost did this to Jerry Van Dyke. Who? Exactly.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
The old saying is true: you learn something new every day... especially when you troll the Weird Wide Web like I do, looking for comedy gems about boobs, poop and hilarious near-fatal injuries.
Case in point: did you know that the world is full of some truly amazing velvet art? I'm talking one of a kind, collectible pieces. Yes, we all know about velvet Elvis paintings, but that's just the tip of the iceberg, my friends. Velvet is a great medium for almost any subject... like these...
Gotta start with the original: Elvis. Wait. Is that kd lang? Or maybe a young Wayne Newton.
Elvis? Not quite. El Vez, Mexico's answer to The King, or, as some call him, The Knave.
Here's Jesus with Gene Simmons dressed as Elvis. Notice which one has the angelic glow.
Speaking of Jesus, here He is watching over a big rig. Or maybe it's just a big rig carrying a giant Jesus statue to Heritage USA. Or maybe it's not Jesus at all, but an Allman brother, showing us the model truck he just finished building.
Not Jesus, but close: Willie Nelson. With Elvis' shades.
Zell Miller looks insane... just like in real life.
Kenny on velvet. A no-brainer. The man was made for velvet.
Celebrate our Native American heritage with a disembodied polar bear head with footless claws in place of a lower jaw, as worn by Garry Shandling.
Here's one for your entryway: Monica with fertilized dress. A real conversation starter.
This was falsely billed as a Neil Diamond collage. I see two Neils, but I don't know who the fuck that is on the bottom left.
Lynndie on velvet. Or is it Boomhauer from "King Of The Hill" wearing a wig?
Another Kenny, this time in profile and denim. If you think his eye looks too high, you're thinking about old Kenny, not new Kenny.
Phil Spector - why? Honestly, I think someone just wanted to paint his hair.
I was going to apologize that this painting of Lionel Richie is blurred, but that's actually a good thing.
Marilyn MAN-roe... tranny version.
Hank Williams, Jr. on poker night
Another Kenny, or Michael McDonald. Take your pick.
That poor tiger. He ran into the glass and smashed his face.
Hank, Jr. again. Whoever commissioned this probably asked for "Hank with a necklace." Instead, they got Hank, neckless.
One for the kid's room. This ought to help them get to sleep at night.
Whoa. It's the love child of Kenny Rogers and Dom DeLuise.
Twenty years ago, Don Johnson woulda kicked somebody's ass for this
It's a trap!
Finally, the pièce de ré⋅sis⋅tance: Charles Nelson Reilly. I would kill to own this painting.