The Proust Questionnaire Portraits
What is your greatest regret? On what occasion do you lie? In an excerpt from the magazine’s latest hardcover effort, Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire, 10 of our age’s most recognizable luminaries submit to Marcel Proust’s favorite parlor game. Plus: Answer your own Proust Questionnaire using your Facebook account. (And if you do, send it to me and I'll post them.-CM)
Illustrations by Risko.
What is your greatest fear?
Converting kilometers to miles.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
A seagull—graceful in flight, rapacious in appetite.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Nothing about me, everything about others.
EDWARD M. KENNEDY
On what occasion do you lie?
When I tell each of my sisters that she’s the prettiest of them all.
What is your motto?
“God helps those who help themselves.”
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I. Tremendous. Stupid. Idiot. Dream.
Which living person do you most despise?
The Bluetooth-wearing S.U.V. driver who idles in front of my building.
How would you like to die?
On what occasions do you lie?
I probably lie constantly, if the definition of lying includes white lies, social lies, lies to ease a situation or make someone feel better.…
What is your greatest regret?
Not learning to read music. However, Juilliard is still on my mind! I’ve come within two blocks of the building, and my schedule would not allow for me to enroll at the time.
Buy it here (and support LOTD):
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
From Adria, who writes, "More found porn -- my kid's Astro Boy Happy Meal toy from McD's. He was really angry with me because I was playing with it and wouldn't share."
Astro Boy? More like Astroke Boy. Hey, McDonald's, they'll learn about this soon enough. Must you rush it?
Confession time: I had this 45 as a kid. Don't ask me why; I sure as shit didn't ask for it. Probably another lousy Christmas gift from my cousins. But then, the more I listened to it, the more I liked it. Before long, I loved it and played it non-stop for weeks. There's something wrong with me.
Ok, what the fuckedy hell is happening at :52? I always thought that was a woman singing, and I still think that's a woman singing. I guess they couldn't get a woman to come in and lip-sync with them, so they drew straws and that poor bastard got stuck doing the girly part. Not me. I'd have said, no effing way, and stormed out of the Soul Train studios. Even Don Cornelius couldn't stop me. As I passed him backstage, he'd say, "Where ya going, my soul brother?" and I'd reply, "This is BULLSHIT, Don Cornelius! I'm outta here."
Hollywood's underrated players talk about being recognized on the street (at least some of the time), which other actors they admire, and the roles that got away.
BEST KNOWN FOR: Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Seinfeld, the Christopher Guest mockumentaries
THE ROLE THAT GOT AWAY: American Graffiti. ''I remember saying to my agent, 'Oh, I just played a bunch of teenagers, and I'm already 25 years old. I shouldn't really try to be a teenager anymore.'''
FIRST MOVIE ROLE: Midnight Cowboy, the lone X-rated Best Picture Oscar winner. ''I was the gay kid who picks up Jon Voight on 42nd Street and gets sick in the bathroom afterward. So I was the X rating!''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Third Watch, Will & Grace, The Station Agent
AN ACTOR HE ADMIRES: ''John Turturro. He's very close to my heart because I saw him on stage when I was a teenager. I was blown away by his forwardness. There's nothing that's not engaging you all the time.''
THE ROLE THAT GOT AWAY: ''Family Guy may be my all-time favorite show. And I met Seth MacFarlane, and he said, 'You gotta come on and do a voice!' And then he never called me.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Sex and the City, Law & Order, Munich
MOST RECOGNIZED FOR: Her role as Miranda's no-nonsense cleaning lady, Magda, on SATC. ''People come up and hug me. It's a wonderful thing! I met an 85-year-old woman on the street the other day who said, 'Oh, I'm obsessed with Sex and the City. I watch it every single day.' She relates to Magda — she has the answer to all the problems in the world if you just listen to her.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Hollow Man, Deadwood, Lost
HER FAVORITE ROLE: Sherry in Things Behind the Sun. ''She was struggling with addictions, she was a rape survivor, she was a rock star. And we shot it in, like, three weeks on a very indie budget in Cocoa Beach, Florida. It was an all-around great experience. My close second would have to be Joanie Stubbs on Deadwood, because that was like walking around in a novel. Fans feel sort of affectionate toward those Deadwood characters.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: House, Big Love, Mad Men
MOST RECOGNIZED FOR: ''If I'm in Starbucks, it's White Chicks.'' Outside the coffee mecca? ''House. People feel awkward because my character's known as 'Cutthroat Bitch.' They don't want to say that to me.''
WHAT SHE LOVES ABOUT HER CAREER: ''When I came home from this shoot, my husband said, 'Annie, I'm so proud that people care about what you're doing.' It's such a rewarding feeling to think, 'Oh, wow, someone likes what I've done!'''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Donnie Darko, Little Miss Sunshine, No Country for Old Men, The Office
BEST ADVICE EVER: ''I started out wanting to be a movie star, like Joan Crawford and Marilyn Monroe. I kept trying to do all these glamorous roles. But I had this great acting teacher who said, 'Why do you keep trying to be a Rolex watch? You're the salt of the earth!' Once I embraced myself as a character actress, I never looked back.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Waterworld, Napoleon Dynamite, Veronica Mars, Big Love
MOST RECOGNIZED FOR: ''Surprisingly, [the 1994 girl-meets-seal kiddie film] Andre. Even though I'm 23. Most of the time, people look at me kind of funny and then say, 'You know, you really resemble that little girl who was in Andre. Has anyone ever told you that before?' And I'll be like, 'Yeah.' Unless they straight-out ask, I don't say, 'Well, I am that person.' That's a little awkward.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Weeds, The 40 Year-Old Virgin
MOST RECOGNIZED FOR: Virgin — but the recognition came in waves, starting with some ''thuggish dudes'' who complimented him three weeks before its release. ''I realized what it was: The gangsters saw the bootleg before it came out.''
HIS PREVIOUS LIFE: Malco worked as a rapper and music producer before John Leguizamo encouraged him to try acting.
BEST KNOWN FOR: Heroes, Ugly Betty
HER FAVORITE ROLE: Cynthia, the stressed-out hotel clerk in her first movie, Red Eye. ''Everything was new and fresh and I was nervous. And [Cynthia] was nervous. So it worked.''
THE NAME GAME: Mays played a character named Charlie on both Heroes and Ugly Betty. ''It's just so weird. I told my manager, 'Look, if there's a role that opens up called Charlie, just send it to me. I'm gold. I don't care if it's a man.'''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Pretty Woman, The Nutty Professor, Best in Show
AN ACTOR HE ADMIRES: ''Gene Hackman. He brings a little heroism and innocence to the worst people, and a tired darkness to the best.''
ON PLAYING THE JERK: ''[People say], 'Gee, you so often play —,' and I say, 'Annoying, horrifying people? Someone who, if you ran into the guy, would be just awful?' To me, that's hysterical. It's been years [since] it dawned on me that I was playing a lot of parts like that.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Jack & Jill, Deadwood, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
THE ROLE THAT GOT AWAY: ''I really wanted [Claire Danes' part in] Shopgirl. It spoke to me a lot more than playing so-and-so's wife in a disaster movie. [Pause] Although... don't get me wrong, I wouldn't sneeze at that, either!''
WHAT SHE LOVES ABOUT HER CAREER: ''That I've got all my fingers in all of the different pots — theater, movies, and television. I feel very lucky that I can do all three.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Scent of a Woman, Independence Day, Meet the Parents
PLAYING THE PART: ''Generally, the character in Scent of a Woman is the character I play — a buttoned-down, stern taskmaster.'' So is he like that off screen? ''You'd have to ask my wife and kids!''
UP NEXT: A play called Saturn Returns. ''For a creative industry, [Hollywood] is not that creative. They tend to hire me based upon what I last did. I enjoy theater because it's not quite that rigid in its interpretation of your skill.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Oz, The Wire, Lost
AN ACTOR HE ADMIRES: ''Maybe three weeks ago, I'm walking by this café [in New York] and I hear, 'Good actor!' I turn around thinking it's some fan — and it's Philip Seymour Hoffman. I freaked out. I was thinking, 'I can't walk up to him, but I have to walk up to him!' So I walked up and said, 'I'm so honored.' And that was it. I left and got on the subway. I've never made such a fool of myself in my life.''
AN ACTOR SHE ADMIRES: ''Isla Fisher's career is pretty remarkable. She's been doing it since she was 13 years old, and she's really come into her own comedically. I'd love to be where she is in five years.''
BIZARRE SIDE EFFECT OF FAME: ''A die-hard fan of Veronica Mars made a lunch box covered with pictures of [my character] Gia Goodman. So I have a lunch box with me on it, which is pretty hysterical.''
BEST KNOWN FOR: The Sopranos, Brotherhood, Sex and the City
THE ROLE THAT GOT AWAY: ''Last week I auditioned for 30 Rock, and I so wanted it. It's my favorite show in the world. One of my best friends got the job instead.''
HIS LUCKY BREAK: Servitto played Agent Harris, Tony's FBI contact, for The Sopranos' entire run. ''I auditioned for the pilot as Father Phil, the priest that Carmela has a little flirtation with in season 1. Thank God I didn't get it!''
BEST KNOWN FOR: Alice, Dead Man Walking, Junebug
AN ACTOR SHE ADMIRES: ''Max von Sydow. We were on Snow Falling on Cedars for months. He was so committed. I guess I have a little crush, all due respect to his lovely wife.''
THE ROLE THAT GOT AWAY: Dolly Pelliker in Silkwood. ''For weeks I thought I had a very strong shot. And, of course, it went to Cher. We found out when it was announced on Entertainment Tonight.''
(More at EW.com)
For you non-sporting types, George Brett is a former professional baseball player, a Hall of Famer who's well-respected for both his talent and his charity work since leaving the game. Or was.
This is disgustingly hilarious, emphasis on the disgusting. If potty humor grosses you out, keep on movin'. Just like George did.
Link from Seth C.