It's hard to pick a favorite scene from Office Space, but this might be mine. Perfect for a Friday afternoon.
For those who haven't seen the movie, the "Bobs" in this clip have been hired to downsize the company and determine who to lay off.
Friday, August 14, 2009
From -- naturally -- CollegeHumor.com.
Since the first day of class, when your professor handed out a pop quiz, shouted JUST KIDDING and started rapping to Kanye West's "Good Morning," you began mastering the fake laugh, the major tool that would get you through his lectures. Each class session brings you another lesson in faking laughter, as your professor clearly thinks a classroom full of students counts as an audience. As if the jokes weren't bad enough (were Tim Allen impressions ever funny?), your professor always finds a way to tie his pathetic life story into the class material. Option D is always a reference to sleeping on his mom's couch or his ex-wife's new boyfriend, Frank. But don't worry, he always finds a way to make his hardships funny. Or maybe you've just gotten really good at the fake laugh. Almost as good as his Aaahwrooooooh.
Sometimes God loves you in a very special way, and as a reward for reading nine hundred pages of Shakespeare, he'll send you the hottest professor you've ever seen. All your life you thought tweed was for dying Englishmen, but then she walks in looking like she just came from a foxhunt sposored by Victoria's Secret. Every article of clothing on her body seems custom made to hug all her curves and keep you from learning a single thing. How are you supposed to focus on the subtle ironies within the supporting cast of Candide when you're busy trying to pop a button off of a blouse with your mind? That's assuming you'd actually have a chance, which you don't. She is already dating an equally good-looking man who's written two books and has a collection of tribal masks in his billiard room; the closest you'll ever get is going home and finding a website where the porn stars wear glasses.
You know the scenario: You walk into your first day of Calc class, only to be hit by a wave of unintelligible mutterings from your quiet, reserved, and decidedly foreign professor. The good news is that you have the perfect excuse for complete and utter failure. The bad news is that you will become a bitter, gnarl-souled racist in the process. At first, you might think it's funny that Prof. Leung pronounces the number seven "ceiling" or that Dr. Kolodjzieg wrote "Operation for to having a midterm" on the syllabus. Of course, this feeling wears off as soon as you walk into a test you didn't know about because you misheard them. That'll plant a seed of hate inside of your belly, and you'll start thinking like the grizzled old men who build walls on the Mexican border. Ceiling-thousand feet of chicken wire should do the trick, right?
(List continues at CollegeHumor.com)
Oh well, at least they aren't perman-- uh -- never mind.
To stupid to know the difference
I think "tomarrow" knows you'll still be a dummy tomorrow
Comedy is right
Your alive? No, sir, that's my alive. Give it back!
From the proud schools of the Atlantic Coast Conference
God and your remedial English teacher
Is that a head?
Yeah, fuck it! Whatever it is.
Just how many has Elese done? What a whore.
And don't call me Surley
You sur are, pal.
The infamous "Chi-tonw" tat