They had me for a minute.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Redneck ingenuity from around the world, courtesy of ThereIFixedIt.com (where you can see a lot more of these). My thanks to Keva, TonyRo, Phyllis and Bubbasmom for the photos.
Is that Lefty? He likes the woodworking.
Who gets to empty that thing?
I guess they were out of spray paint
Yeah, that totally solves the problem.
The boxes are filled with cartons of Kools, so at least it's light
Still sounds great!
If you need a diagram, you have no business driving a stick
Acer? Or a Dell?
Because this kind of chair is expensive to replace
Now his mobile home has a big hole in the side
I see people tearing down the highway with those donut spares, so what's the difference?
The tape should hold since they turned the tailfin backwards.
Who can relate? Raise your hands. I know I can.
Hilarity from Juicy S. Trixx.
best of craigslist > santa barbara >
Satanic Sexual Ritual
Date: 2009-06-18, 5:13PM PDTLooking for a woman with evil appetites.PostingID: 1228602341
We will have nasty, evil, sweaty, probably illegal sexual encounters in order to bring about the rise of Lucifer. (ie Satan)
Must be willing to do all styles of sexual positions, except Missionary. That is the Lord's Way, and we will have none of that. Besides, if we do it Missionary, Satan gets angry and a kitten dies. I like kittens.
Must be into anal. For that is Satan's Alley.
Must like blow jobs (Swallowing Lucifer's Gravy) and Hand Jobs (Milking the Evil Goat)
Must be into slight S&M (Safe word: Pink Sock)
Must be into erotic and evil costumes and lingerie. Leather Thongs, spikes, boots, black and evil bras that accentuate your bosom, Boba Fett costumes.
Must be willing to deep throat. (So that my satanic appendage will be closer to your black soul)
Must be into strap-ons so that I may feel the "Power of Beezlebub" coursing thru my lower intestines.
The perfect encounter will be this:
Meeting you at one of our local eatery's. Plying you with ample alcoholic libations. Enjoying a nice piece of animal flesh. Tipping the waiter only 10% instead of 15 to 20% (Because we are EVIL!) Taking you back to my lair. Removing your Gothic Garb, laying you roughly upon my "Sacrifice Altar" (Twin size futon), and promptly begin to nibble on your Satanic Slit. (Please shave before the ritual, as it's hard to be evil when you got pubes stuck in your fillings).
Whence you are all moist with the Power of The Dark Lord's Juices, I will remove my cape and trousers and proceed to fill you with the Sceptre of His Infernal Majesty. You will writhe in pleasure so deep, it will call forth the Evil One himself!
After 4 to 7 minutes of the most intense sexual experience of your God Fearing life, we will perform a Satanic Snuggle, until you gently fall asleep in my powerful arms.
If this taps into the Primordial Jelly you have buried deep down in your Dark Soul, then contact me and we will make beautiful, agonizing "love" together. We will combine our desires and perform rituals so evil, it will awaken the Evil Ancient One from His Firey Nap! He will spill forth from the Bowels of Hell like so much premature Satanic Ejaculate!!