It looked great on paper.
From Lefty, who makes his kids watch this every week to remind them that we live in a frightening world. And I'm not talking about predators; I'm talking about video makers.
Friday, August 7, 2009
"Pain don't hurt." - Dalton (Patrick Swayze), Road House
"Crime don't pay." - Cary, List Of The Day
Someone got his nose all out of joint
I guess he does that a lot
The All-N-Onederful (TM) hair set is easily removed by gently pulling forward on the toupee
Well, most of them
"Ecstasy is a helluva drug." - Steve Perry
Tasha's day just got worse and worse. First someone hit her in the face with a shovel, then a raven roosted on her head.
Solicitation of prostitution? Me? Pffffft. Don't be ridiculous.
What do you tell a guy with two black eyes? Nothing -- you already told him twice!
Thank you for not showing her face
See, unemployment isn't all bad
Jane's Robert DeNiro impression failed to impress the arresting officer
Settle down, Radio. You'll live.
She's not smiling. Her hair knobs are just too tight.
Sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real hard
Now I get the wigs
"I'm very sorry," said Dr. Bonaduce. "Johnny Fairplay didn't make it."
It's a thin line between clever and stupid
He couldn't grow a beard so he borrowed some hair from up top
The FUCK are you lookin' at?
Matt, the disembodied Rasta head of doom
Continuing yesterday's theme. From CollegeHumor.com.
Remember how you always would drink my milkshakes and then blame it on my boyfriend, or how you would steal my pumice stone? I kind of learned to make do with your fork to scrub the callouses off of my feet and I put it in those milkshakes. My boyfriend was in on it too. Next time, Don't be such a snob and stop keeping everybody up when you're screaming at your parents for money you lazy sh*t. -- Andrea N., Pitt
One time I had clogged the toilet by flushing trash in it because I was too lazy to throw out the trash bin when it was full. It would still run but at a very slow rate. My roommate decided to use it without me telling him this and then the toilet started to overflow and go into our room. I blamed him and had him clean it up, never telling him it was my fault. -- Kevin C, Oregon State
Yesterday, I noticed my terrain down south was getting a bit rugged, so I decided to do a bit of manscaping with the kitchen scissors. Afterwards, I diligently placed them back where they were, thinking nothing of it. This afternoon, I came into the kitchen to find my roommate fishing a pot roast out of the crockpot with the exact same pair of scissors. I don't know which is worse, a pot roast full of my man-curls, or my roommate's choice in utensil. Either way, I'm going out for Chinese tonight. -- Jon, School Not Given
Hey Chad, you know how you always complain about how dim it is in your room and your bathroom? Well, we replaced all your lights with 15 watt bulbs because we're tired of paying ridiculous electric bills because your dumbass can't flip off a switch. Oh and if you've ever wondered why your internet suddenly slows down while you're doing the dirty deed, I set the wireless bandwidth on the router to 5 kb/s for your computer. You don't leave your upload speed on your torrent program to Unlimited. -- George, University of Iowa
Sophomore year I had a roommate that played World of Warcraft about 10 hours a day. During finals I was really sick of him playing until about 4 am when I had an 8:00 am test the next day. So the last night of finals week I got really angry and went out into the hall and pried the door to the circuit breaker open. I shut off the power to my room and left to go hang with some friends. Well the next day I woke up and when I was going to shower there was a girl in the hall crying to her parents on the phone. It turns out that the power went off in her room during the night and she didn't wake up in time for her flight home. I guess that's why when i got back to my dorm my roommate was still playing Warcraft and the electricity was still working. -- Kurt H., School Not Given
All three of us learned to drive a stick shift using your car while you were in class. Sorry about your transmission. -- Steve, KSU
My roommate will always forget his key to our place when he goes out. ALWAYS. So he ends up calling me at 2 in the morning to have me let him in. Well I'm am sick of being woken up 3-4 times a night at late hours of the night just to let him in when I have to be for work at 5. So I left him to the wrath of the internet. I posted his phone number all over telling people to text it because I need it for a sociology project. He got over 1000 text messages and a huge phone bill. All saying. "Will you let me in?" -- Isaac L, FSU