News Story Of The Day: Wienermobile Screws Pooch

From Lynn.



OSCAR MAYER WIENERMOBILE CRASHES INTO WIS. HOME

7/17/09 (AP) -- One southern Wisconsin homeowner is probably not in love with the Oscar Mayer wiener.

The famed hot dog's Wienermobile crashed Friday into the deck and garage of a home in Mount Pleasant, about 35 miles south of Milwaukee.

Police said the driver was trying to turn the Wienermobile around in the driveway and thought she was moving in reverse. But she instead went forward and hit the home. It sat in the driveway as if it were stuck in the garage Friday afternoon.

No one was home and no one was injured. No citations were immediately issued.

Both the home and vehicle suffered moderate damage, which Oscar Mayer spokeswoman Sydney Lindner says insurance will cover.

Police hadn't been able to speak to the homeowner as of early Friday evening.

Obscure 70s Music Video Of The Day

I bet there aren't many here who remember this one. Every time I mention it, I get blank stares, even from my pal Spinderfella, who remembers every other thing about the 70s. I began to wonder if I had imagined such a song. I hadn't.

This isn't the official video, of course, but you'll get the idea. Yes, Ali was that big a deal in the 70s. Everyone knew him. He was a phenomenon. For those of us who remember what he was like then, it's difficult to see him now.

Btw, that's George Foreman gettin' his ass whupped at 2:20.

Call For Photos

I'm doing a post of goofy posed pics, and I know a lot of you have them because I've seen them on your Facebook pages: pics of you or your friends doing funny poses with famous landmarks or statues or trees or whatever. Some examples below.

Send to listoftheday@yahoo.com and make the subject "Goofy Photo" or something similar.

Thanks

Castration Candidate Of The Day (NSFW)

Damn. Fix that fucker, already.

"Yo Mamma" Jokes Of The Day

A great idea from Amy H.



Yo momma so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her

Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections

Yo momma got a glass eye with a fish in it

Yo momma so old she owes Jesus three bucks

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

Yo momma's glasses are so thick, when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

Yo momma so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers

Yo momma's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice

Yo momma so ugly she could scare the flies off a shit wagon

Yo momma house so dirty I gotta wipe my feet before I leave

Yo momma so old she took her drivers test on a dinosaur

Yo momma so greasy her freckles slipped off

Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp

Yo momma so ugly her pillow cries at night

Yo momma so hairy, she has dreadlocks on her back.

Yo momma so fat her belly button has an echo

Yo momma so ugly I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing it back."

Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"

Yo momma so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth

Yo momma so stupid she stole a free sample

Yo momma so ugly she makes blind children cry

Yo momma teeth are so crooked, when she smiles it looks like her tongue is in jail

Yo momma so ugly she has to creep up on her makeup

Yo momma so skinny, she only has one stripe on her pajamas

Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, she can butter a whole loaf of bread

Yo mamma so old her social security number is 1

Yo momma so hairy, she looks like a Chia pet with a sweater on

Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks

Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money

Yo momma so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop

Yo momma so ugly the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "

Vid Of The Day: 100 Guitar Riffs

From Melissa, who says, "This is the coolest thing!" I agree.

What are the 100 songs? This dude's website has a list.

Vid Of The Day: Beer Launcher

From 2007. I wonder if these are being mass-produced yet. They should be.

From DRSJF.

10 Reasons To Boycott This Year's Emmy Awards

From my pals at Hollywood Fail.

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If there's one thing we absolutely loved about Hollywood, it would be film cameos where celebrities play themselves. If there's one thing we absolutely can't stand, it's award shows, unless it involves Sacha Baron Cohen sitting on Eminem's face. So this year, we might be forced to boycott watching the Emmy's and here are our top 10 reasons why.

10. "Eastbound & Down" Ignored

One of the best new comedy shows did not get a single nomination. We were especially pissed about Danny McBride not getting a Best Actor nod because we can watch him curse and dance to Beethoven for hours.



9. "Two And A Half Men" Is A Sick Joke

Isn't fourteen seasons of the same jokes enough? Stop nominating this. Here's a clip from an actually funny scene with Charlie Sheen from Scary Movie 3. We thought it would be funnier to show it in the language Scary Movie 3 was meant to be seen it, Italian.



8. "Real World/Road Rules" Rejected

How can they forget about our favorite reality show that combines our other two favorite reality shows?



7. Seven Nominees For Best Comedy and Drama Series

Seven nominees? How important was it to stuff "Family Guy" into Best Comedy Series? The point is to narrow all shows to the cream of the crop, not alphabetically list half of everything that aired.



6. Tony Shaloub Still Being Watched/Respected

Honestly, we loved "Monk" in the early seasons. It was about a great detective who happened to have obsessive-compulsive disorder and was trying to solve the murder of his wife. Now, it's an annoying OCD asshole who accidentally solves a crime in the last 5 minutes of an episode.



(List continues here at Hollywood Fail.)


More goodies from Comedy.com:

Tiger Trashes Charles Barkley's Golf Swing

Weekend Box Office Preview: Bruno's Talking Penis Will Go Limp Against Potter's Magic Wand

Kittens Vs. Socks

White Girls Doing Bill Cosby Impressions

Wanker Of The Day

From The Smoking Gun.



JULY 15 -- Meet Rachel Ferrara. When the Wisconsin woman, 23, arrived home from work yesterday afternoon, she discovered her boyfriend "watching pornography on the TV and masturbating," according to a La Crosse Police Department report.

Chagrined, Ferrara argued with Christopher Strabley, 24, called him a "fucking cheater," and kicked him in the groin.

Ferrara then allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed Strabley in the abdomen.

Strabley told cops that she then told him, "You deserve it," while continuing to slash away (Strabley eventually escaped and drove himself to the hospital, where he was treated and released).

When confronted by police, Ferrara told an officer, "I think I hurt him bad."

Ferrara, who was charged with felony reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct, was booked into the La Crosse County jail.