"I don't know if you noticed, but I have a slight weight problem."
Thursday, June 11, 2009
From a series of amusing Photoshop contests on Worth1000.com.
Foreman and R2-D2
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
Rodney the Hutt
The Millennium Lee
I Am Darth Maul
Genius. From Nicole P., Kelli T. and Molly's Mom.
A great list from Jamie J. at HolyTaco.com. Except that I don't agree with all of Jamie's picks (Mrs. C? C'mon!).
12. Angela Bower - Who’s The Boss
Aside from the fact that she looks like a plastic skeleton in a pediatrician’s office, she’s so annoyingly neurotic that you’d be standing there holding a condom while she’d say: “Should we do this? What if Jonathan walks in? Jonathan’s been acting strange lately. I think he and Mona are up to something? Do you think they’re up to something? I do. I definitely do. We should spy on them?”
11. Florida Evans - Good Times
I’m not against a woman with a little meat on her bones, but there’s a lot of meat there. And it’s not just on her bones, it’s pretty much everywhere. Plus, I feel like even if I got it up for her, she’d sassily lecture me because I blamed Thelma for not taking the trash out when it was actually my turn. Then she’d coax me into apologizing to Thelma and by the time I was done with that, there’s no way I’d still have an erection. [Also, she looks like David Ortiz.]
8. Grace Kelly (Brett Butler) - Grace Under Fire
Call me old fashioned, but I just don’t like it when a woman has a voice that’s deeper than mine. (And a penis that’s longer and wider than mine.)
5. Miranda Hobbs - Sex and the City
I have such a hard time telling these characters apart. Is this one the vapid whore who loves shoes? Or is she the vapid whore who loves handbags? Or maybe she’s vapid whore who likes both shoes and handbags? Hmm, let me do a little more research and get back to you as to exactly why this one’s a MIWLF…OK, I’m back. She’s a vapid whore who had a baby, that’s why.
4. Roseanne Barr/Arnold/Thomas – Roseanne
Despite her obvious heft, it’s the fact she’s the female version of Sam Kinison that would kill the whole thing. Could you imagine trying to finish when a naked pile of mayonnaise and hair is screaming at you for not punishing Darlene after she set the garage on fire? I could not.
3. Marion Cunningham - Happy Days
Forget the fact that she’s sort of an iconic figure from my early childhood, she was also banging Tom Bosley. Those are some sloppy seconds I just couldn’t stomach.
For the rest, please see the full article at HolyTaco.com