I've always liked Phyllis Diller. From Funny Or Die.
Monday, June 8, 2009
This is one of those "guess the title from the pictures" puzzles. The difficulty of the clues varies wildly: some are simple ("Hmm, a gladiator. What movie could that be?"), some are lame (a crashed airplane has very little to do with airplanes), many take some thought (three fighting girls don't represent a martial arts movie... unless it's in a galaxy far, far away).
I've been working on it for several days and I'm stuck on 38 -- for now. I'll keep at it.
Click pic to play. From Empire magazine.
Selections from Said In Bed, an amusing website where people send in funny bits of pillow talk. Real or not, they're funny -- but graphic, so read at your own risk.
My thanks to Chris L. for the link.
“Are you done yet? Well, would you mind getting off?”
“Ow ow ow! Wrong one! Wrong one!”
“Your pussy tastes like the effervescent potions you have to drink in Zelda to stay alive.” -- my (now ex) boyfriend to me, the morning after our first night together
“Well, that was nice,” he said
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she replied.
In the middle of a drunken hook up… “Did you have a nice nap?”
I had fallen asleep while he was going down on me.
Just as I’m handing him the condom, he says, “oh, by the way, I gave up sex for Lent…” moments after giving him a HJ.
“You’ve been watching too much ‘Kung Fu Panda.’”
“Who will I have sex with when you’re gone?”
He: “Don’t worry, we’ll bang again.”
Her: “You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet.”
(after he finishes way too quickly) “I mean. You should be flattered.”
As soon as he came, he said, “Now why dont you put your boots on and shake your ass home…”
"I want to eat your clavicle!"
“I’m just looking at your lips and thinking about how many cocks they’ve been wrapped around.”
“Wow. You took it like a champ!” he said.
“Your body is like a big luxurious mansion that I bought, then once I moved in I discovered an amazing secret room that made it so much better. That room is your ass.”
“I wanna suck your nipples until milk comes out,” he said.
"Are you still vegan if you’ve been eating me out for a half an hour?"
"Ugh, I’m not putting that thing in my mouth."
She: “OK, right then, I should get back to the party.”
He: “You’re throwing me out?”
She: “Yeah…we’re done here.”
Funny you should mention the Osmonds, Brynholio. This is a good time to run the video you sent me a while back.
I can't believe the Bee Gees didn't kick somebody's ass after they saw this. Well, actually, I can believe it. They're the Bee Gees. But a Bee Gees vs. Osmonds rumble would be fun to watch, wouldn't it? I'm seeing a lot of girl slaps and hair pulling.
If the Osmonds were any whiter, they'd be pure light.
Hey, watch what I can do with my ass!
"So why do you say your mother was a muledeer?"
Do you kiss your mother with that shirt?
Where's the party party party?
She totally romped her entrance.
Yes, be afraid of McDonald's. I am. I can't even look at Golden Arches without sharting.
I can lay it down because I am correct.
It costs a bit more than hairy milk, but it's well worth it.
Try the fresh porksword.
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Sperman! Run for cover! That stuff stains.
Dude, those dreads rock!
No! No! No buttseks!
Don't be a monkey on the hood of my car.
Don't ask how it's made, just eat it.
Must be the Whole Foods circular.
Beds so comfy, some people stay all day.
That's a bunch of shit.