Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Top 5 Slutty Wedding Dresses Of The Day

I like them all.

From Julie and Inventorspot.com. At least one of them is a REPEAT (gasp!).

Copy by "Beth" at Inventor Spot, not me. I don't know nuthin' 'bout describin' no weddin' dresses.

5. The Mariah

The Mariah Carey slutty wedding dress certainly doesn't leave anything to the imagination. Fully equipped with garter belt, stockings, and a main fashion piece better off worn under the dress or on the wedding night, this dress starts us off with its moderately tame slutty fashion.

4. The "Marry My Cleavage"

With so much cleavage on display, it's not hard to picture those breasts making an unplanned appearance during the wedding ceremony, perhaps right in time to say "I do." This woman will never have to ask her husband why he married her, because I think the answer's pretty obvious. But who did the groom really say "I do" to, the bride, or her cleavage that obviously took center stage at this wedding.

3. The Showgirl

This bride's slutty wedding dress is straight out of Vegas. This showgirl certainly wasn't shown up by her bridesmaids at her wedding wearing this poor fashion choice of an outfit. You may bare your heart on your wedding day, but it's okay to keep the rest of the anatomy covered.

2. The Hotpants Wedding Dress

There's nothing wrong with comfort on your wedding day, but this bride's slutty wedding dress would not even have been fit for the top of a wedding cake. It sure must have been a party at this bride and groom's reception, because her wedding dress is more nightclub material than preparing for holy matrimony.

1. The Bikini Bridal Gown

Many brides dream of a beach wedding, but most choose to go with a wedding dress that is more flowly than flimsy. This bride is certainly prepared for a post- "I do" dip in the ocean, and afterwards that will definitely take this slutty wedding dress to a whole new level that will better prepare her for her night of wedded bliss.

Vid Of The Day: Box Cat

No violence in this one, just hilarity. It takes a minute to get to the good stuff, so stick with it.

From FunnyOrDie.com

Bad Hair Trends In Music (Of The Day)

A selection from this article on Blender.com


DESCRIPTION: Some did it to stand out, others did it all for the nookie. Whatever the reason, bald men everywhere cried for the abuse of healthy hair follicles. It did, however, make it tremendously easy for Spring Breakers to find their drunken white-mopped friends on a busy dance floor.

CULPRITS: Sugar Ray, Eminem, Fred Durst, Everclear, Goldfinger

KEEPING IT ALIVE: Larry Birkhead


DESCRIPTION: The dawn of hip-hop brought the sound of the streets to the mainstream charts, as the MCs of the '80s rose straight to the top. Unfortunately, that was also the blueprint for their hairstyle. Whether you were East Coast, West Coast, gangsta or b-boy, if you weren't rocking the high tower, you were just another sucka.

CULPRITS: Kid 'N Play, De La Soul, Boyz II Men, New Edition, Bell Biv DeVoe

KEEPING IT ALIVE: Guile from Street Fighter


DESCRIPTION: When one ponytail ceased to be metal enough in the early 2000s, the rock gods assembled and came upon a solution: braid the next plot of hair down. A new form of head banging followed shortly thereafter. We hope we're not around when the trend lowers on the body.

CULPRITS: System of a Down, Disturbed, Metallica



DESCRIPTION: Just got back from the gym? It doesn't matter. You can capture that true Jazzercise look and feel by simply applying a bandanna to your kindergarten-boy haircut. Both men and women were bonded by this haircut, and it later became a crowd staple at Lilith Fair festivals to come.

CULPRITS: Pat Benatar, Loverboy's Mike Reno

KEEPING IT ALIVE: Ashton Kutcher, Eric Prydz


DESCRIPTION: Looking like a giant tarantula perched on top of their heads, this disastrous mop is just about as painfully goth as it gets. I suppose anything would be good to detract attention from the lipstick-and-heavy-eyeliner-covered faces of these dark poetry-writing graveyard lurkers.

CULPRITS: The Cure's Robert Smith, Twiggy Ramirez of Marilyn Manson, Bauhaus

KEEPING IT ALIVE: Edward Scissorhands and creator Tim Burton


DESCRIPTION: Business in front, party in back and white trash all around. This gem of a hairdo has become a major fixation in pop culture, leaving many trailer park tenants feeling cheated and robbed. Hey, it got John Stamos a gig drumming for the Beach Boys didn't it?

CULPRITS: Billy Ray Cyrus, Bono, Michael Bolton and most country music singers

KEEPING IT ALIVE: Dee Snider, country music


DESCRIPTION: Many yeti sightings were reported in the greater Seattle area, thanks to this classy combination of grotesquely large sideburns and long unwashed hair. It's a subtle variation of the hippie; the main differentiation was in the substitution of freedom with a universal sense of desolation. On the positive side, shampoo was cool, and sleeping with Winona Ryder was a distinct possibility.

CULPRITS: Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, the Melvins

KEEPING IT ALIVE: Band of Horses, your local 7-Eleven clerk


DESCRIPTION: All it takes to look this effortlessly scornful is a few hours, a critical eye and an endorsement from Paul Mitchell. Extra points for spikes that look tragic, porcupiney, and bitchin' on avatars and blog profile pics.

CULPRITS: Pete Wentz, Panic! At the Disco

KEEPING IT ALIVE: Project Runway Season 4 winner, Christian Siriano


DESCRIPTION: Finally, something both frat boys and emo kids can agree on—a douche bag haircut moussed to look like a haircut your parents won't let you in the house with. How did something as tough as the Mohawk evolve into something this pitiful? Mr. T is banging his fist in anger somewhere right now.

CULPRITS: Chester of Linkin Park, Kevin Federline, Ryan Seacrest

KEEPING IT ALIVE: Angelina Jolie's son Maddox, David Beckham

See the rest here on Blender.com.

April Engrish Roundup

You are like.

Because every day should be Earch Day

Sexually assaulted, that is

You'll be trouble

A.k.a. Sarah Jessica Parker's garage sale

Take it. It's not like I'm using it.

Don't put your thing it the hole, please.

Yes, is true, I ride the Pig

Seen the new Fuckbook Pro? It's amazing.

She's such a fuckin' goblin

Rettuce suplize you!

Why thank you!

But don't get it on the clean laundry, please

Back-in business!

Oh, everyone's done that girl

It'll just keep coming back for more

A direct line to your mother-in-law's house

Meat Goat at the Beaver Show. Sounds like a party.

Cooler than fried pig intestines with sour? Not possible.

Pathetic Celebrity Shill Of The Day: Lee Majors' Bionic Ear

Oscar Goldman: Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the techn--

Steve Austin: Huh?

Oscar Goldman: I said, we can rebuild you, make you--

Steve Austin: Bill me? For what?


Steve Austin: Great. Why are you yelling?

(Vid quality sucks - sorry)

From better times (and Hutchlover)...


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