Who knew David Sedaris was a flight attendant?
Monday, April 6, 2009
The last time I ran this, it got a wide range of responses. Some (like me) thought it was mostly chauvinistic crap, while others thought that it was merely a bad delivery of decent advice. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. I suppose it also depends on your definition of success.
By David DeAngelo
Every guy wants to succeed with women -- but few have the “game” to really do it. Most guys are pretty clueless in this area -- which is great news. Why? It means when you learn a few tricks and tips, you’ll be WAY in front of your competition.
10) Set a boundary with her as soon as possible
Setting boundaries with women -- when done correctly -- establishes leadership, status and masculinity. This is especially important if you’re one of those guys (like I was) who feels an urge to give a woman whatever she wants. The problem with giving her exactly what she wants is that it kills attraction. A woman doesn’t want you to be a doormat -- she wants you to be a man.
9) Don’t give all of yourself to just any woman
When most guys meet a woman they really like, they immediately offer “everything” they have to her. Unfortunately, the message that a woman gets is that you aren’t the most important person in your life -- she is. This is a bad, bad move. Instead, keep a part of yourself “off limits” and totally unavailable to women.
8) Be the star, not the planet
When it comes to dating, most men behave like planets looking for a star to orbit. If you want to build attraction with a woman fast, however, take on the mindset of being the star instead. Be a “centered” man whom women want to orbit. When you become so rock-solid internally that no random woman can knock you off course, then you begin to affect them.
7) Learn to deal with “two-sided” women
As a mature man, you will encounter many attractive young women who have “double identities.” On the one hand, they’re the perfect, proper and innocent little girl, while on the other, they’re the promiscuous, herd-following, manipulative, and distrustful girl-woman. Unfortunately, most men fall into the trap of seeing only the “angel” in a woman and not seeing the “other” side of her personality.
6) Cultivate the “real man” inside
Women want to be with a “real man,” but what exactly does that mean? It means that you feel comfortable in the presence of beautiful women, high-status people and uncertainty. It means you keep composure in the face of competition from other men, tests from women and drama. Keep these concepts in mind and your success with women will skyrocket.
5) Build a happy single life
Most guys go from being unhappy alone to finding a woman to cling to, and end up holding on too tightly and giving away power, effectively destroying the attraction in the relationship. If you want to succeed with women, you need to build a single life that’s so fun that you actually prefer and choose to be single for a while -- and then decide if you want to find a special lady with whom to settle down.
4) Stop worrying about what she’s thinking
Most guys make the mistake of acting based on what they think women will think of their true thoughts. Let’s say you’re with a woman and you’re thinking, “Wow, I can’t believe how beautiful she is…” Most guys start acting as if she knows you’re thinking about her looks, which causes all sorts of unnatural and “weird” behavior.
3) Get your “cool” on
We all know that women have a special attraction for guys who are “cool,” but what exactly is cool? It means neither coming on too strong nor being overly standoffish. A “cool” guy isn’t too excited about anything, isn’t too affected by anything and has control of himself. A cool guy has an offbeat sense of humor, a sense of style, music and food, and can make fun of himself.
2) Polish up how you talk
What you communicate to a woman has more to do with how you communicate than with the words you use. Work on communicating in a way that dials up the attraction. Here’s a simple exercise that will get you thinking: Try saying, “Hello, how are you?” with a smile. Next, say, “Oh, um, hi there” in an insecure way. Then say, “What’s up?” like a cool guy would. Finally, show a sly smile and lean your head back slowly, without any words at all. Practice different styles until you find one that you’re comfortable with that amps up the attraction.
1) Commit to becoming a naturally attractive guy
The most important thing you can do to take your success with women to the next level is to make a commitment to learn whatever it takes to get this part of your life handled. Unless you start doing things differently, you’re going to get the same results that you're getting right now. Want something different? Then do something different.