Monday, February 9, 2009

14 Squirm-Inducing Celebrity Screwups Of The Day

From EW.com. I'm not sure how they settled on these particular 14 from the hundreds of possibilities (Mel Gibson, anyone? Britney? Hugh Grant?) but hey, just roll with it. I added one of my own at the end, a moment I watched live on TV and thought, "Holy shit."

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EW.com -- Christian Bale's profane tirade on the Terminator Salvation set isn't the first time stars have been caught behaving badly -- look back at previous public outbursts, meltdowns, and foibles from Russell Crowe, Isaiah Washington, and more.


CHRISTIAN BALE'S DARK NIGHT

A movie set can be a seriously tense place, especially when it's the set of a mega-budget, action-franchise flick like this May's Terminator Salvation. But it's pretty darn rare that we get a sense of just how tense they can be. TMZ.com ListOfTheDay.net just posted (some very NSFW) audio of Christian ''the third John Connor'' Bale ripping into T4 director of photography Shane Hurlbut. What induced the three-minute-and-45-second profanity-filled rant? Hurlbut apparently distracted Bale during a take. — Adam B. Vary


RUSSELL CROWE CALL WAITING

Maybe Russell Crowe was upset that Cinderella Man opened in a disappointing fourth place back in June of 2005. While staying at the posh hotel in Manhattan's SoHo neighborhood, Crowe tried to make a phone call at around 4:20 a.m., according to NYPD Sgt. Michael Wysokowski. ''He was upset because he couldn't get a call out to Australia,'' Sgt. Wysokowski told CNN. At that point, Crowe left his room and went to the front desk, where the confrontation with the concierge allegedly took place. ''He threw a phone at the employee, hitting him in the face and causing a minor laceration,'' the sergeant said. Crowe was taken to a police station and charged with second-degree assault.


DAVID O. RUSSELL DOESN'T HEART LILY TOMLIN

Director David O. Russell's 2004 film I Heart Huckabees is, in large part, a meditation on the quest for spiritual enlightenment. But there was little meditative about two behind-the-scenes clips shot during the film's production that turned up on the Internet in March of 2007, showing one of the film's stars, Lily Tomlin, at loggerheads with Russell. In the more memorable of the two, the director loses his temper with the actress, who is filming a scene with Jason Schwartzman and Dustin Hoffman. ''F--- you!'' he shouts. ''I'm just trying to f---ing help you, do you understand me? I'm being a f---ing collaborator.'' Russell then angrily pushes some papers off the desk behind which Tomlin is sitting and continues: ''I worked on this f---ing thing for three f---ing years not to have some f---ing c--- yell at me in front of the f---ing crew when I'm trying to f---ing help, you bitch.'' —Clark Collis


ARMED MARTIN LAWRENCE STOPS TRAFFIC

After Martin Lawrence stormed into a busy Sherman Oaks intersection in May 1996, ranting and raving with a loaded gun in his pocket, his doctor downplayed the incident using classic Hollywood euphemisms: He blamed the comedian's behavior on ''exhaustion and dehydration.'' Just two months later, the Bad Boys star was busted for attempting to board a plane from Burbank to Phoenix with a loaded 9mm semi-automatic pistol in his suitcase. He was sentenced to two years probation for the airport incident.


RICK JAMES ACCUSED OF SUPER-FREAKY CRIMES

Rick James shot to fame with risqué funk songs like 1978's ''Mary Jane'' and 1981's ''Super Freak.'' But those odes to excess didn't prepare fans for the headlines James made in 1991, when a woman accused him of tying her up, torturing her with a hot cocaine pipe, and forcing her into sex acts with his girlfriend (whom he married in 1997, then divorced in 2002). More scandal came the next year, when another woman said he imprisoned and brutally beat her. Charges from both incidents were combined in one trial; in 1993 James was convicted on felony counts of assault and possessing cocaine and served three years.


ALEC BALDWIN'S ''LITTLE PIG'' VOICEMAIL HITS THE INTERNET

Despite a banner professional year with twin tour-de-force outings in The Departed and "30 Rock," Alec Baldwin gave one regrettable — and involuntarily public — performance in April 2007. TMZ.com posted a leaked voicemail tirade he unleashed against his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, in which he calls her a ''thoughtless little pig'' for missing his court-approved phone time with her. In subsequent public apologies, the actor said he was simply frustrated by his long-running custody battle with ex Kim Basinger. Baldwin even said — during an interview on "The View" — that he'd asked NBC to let him out of his "30 Rock" contract so he could focus on his daughter and the issue of paternal rights. (He later opted to honor his contract with the network.)


DON IMUS FOULS OUT

Racist, misogynist, and homophobic slurs were not uncommon on Don Imus' nationally syndicated radio show. But when the shock jock called the Rutgers women's basketball team ''nappy-headed hos'' on April 4, the vulgarity of his words — aimed at a group of accomplished college athletes, no less — enraged the public, and made many advertisers jump ship.


MICHAEL RICHARDS' RACIST RANT

When "Seinfeld" star Michael Richards took the stage at L.A.'s Laugh Factory on Nov. 17, 2006, the audience was probably hoping for Kramer-ish pratfalls and copious arm-flailing. What they got instead was a racist diatribe directed at a group of African-American hecklers. Thanks to a cell-phone camera, the tirade immediately hit the Web, earning the actor nationwide condemnation. Three days later, Richards appeared via satellite on David Letterman's show, apologizing and pledging to seek help.


ISAIAH MOUTHS OFF — SHOOTS SELF IN FOOT

Just when you thought the drama on ABC's "Grey's Anatomy" couldn't get more overwrought, it did — behind the scenes. It began with an October 2006 dustup between Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey, in which the former allegedly referred to gay costar T.R. Knight as a ''faggot.'' The incident was close to fading from public memory until Washington dropped the f-bomb again (as part of a denial) in front of reporters at the Golden Globes in January 2007.


TOM TAKES ON PSYCHIATRY

Bouncing on Oprah's couch was a little odd, but it was Tom Cruise's leap into a heated debate over the mental-health profession that really puzzled fans. In May 2005, while promoting Paramount's War Of The Worlds, Cruise criticized Brooke Shields for taking antidepressants during her postpartum depression. He then tore into the Today show's Matt Lauer, calling him ''glib'' for suggesting that the ADD drug Ritalin has helped people.


PAT O'BRIEN BECOMES THE STORY

As host of The Insider, Pat O'Brien was used to reporting on celebrity scandals. But in March 2005, he found himself at the center of a tabloid-ready mess after a series of drunken, sexually explicit voicemails he had left an unidentified woman made their way onto the Internet. When friends and Insider colleagues staged an intervention, O'Brien didn't remember making the calls (in which he described the many ways he wanted to get ''crazy'') — but on March 20 he acknowledged in a statement that he had a problem with alcohol and was checking himself into rehab.


DRUG-ADDICTED ROBERT DOWNEY JR. FALLS ASLEEP IN NEIGHBOR KID'S BED

The star of the 1987 drug-addled cult hit Less Than Zero made his longtime drug addiction even more embarrassingly public on July 16, 1996, by accidentally falling asleep in his Malibu neighbor's house — in a child's bed, no less. The subsequent arrest came just hours after Downey had been charged with possession of heroin and cocaine for an arrest a month earlier. He pleaded no contest, but it was just one of many altercations with the law that eventually led to the Oscar-nominated actor's year-long stint (1999-2000) in California's Corcoran State Prison.


EDDIE MURPHY PULLED OVER WITH TRANSSEXUAL HOOKER

To be fair, there's really no good way to explain being pulled over by Los Angeles police at 4:45 a.m. with a transsexual prostitute in your Toyota Land Cruiser. But Eddie Murphy's excuse for the May 2, 1997, incident — he was giving the poor hooker a lift home as ''an act of kindness'' — had a whole nation saying ''Riiiiiight.'' The timing couldn't have been worse: The Nutty Professor had just given the comedian's slumping career a needed second wind, and he was in the middle of filming his next family-friendly film, Dr. Doolittle.


PORNO FOR PEE-WEE

Sometimes even a kids'-show host needs to sit back, relax, loosen his bow tie...and take in a triple feature of porn. On July 26, 1991, "Pee-wee's Playhouse" host Paul Reubens had such a night out in Sarasota, Fla., leading to his arrest for indecent exposure. (He pled no contest and paid a fine.) Reubens got a standing ovation for a self-mocking MTV appearance two months later (''Heard any good jokes lately?''), but for the next decade he turned up mostly in smaller roles, including parts in Batman Returns and "Murphy Brown."

My honorable mention: Joe Namath wasted on Monday Night Football.




Classic 80s Music Video Of The Day

I don't remember this song, but Wendy in RI does, and she requested it even though she "forgot how irritating it is." Some people get off on pain, I suppose.

The castle theme never gets old, does it? I kept waiting for a cow to come flying over the wall.

I think the lead singer has Tourette's.



Photos of The Day

Here's a fine collection of amusing photos and screengrabs from you, my helpful readers.


From Peter M.


An interesting word verification that Sheila W. got.


A child's surprisingly insightful homework, from Voronya.


Here's where Heather T. buys her booze. Stay away from the brown liquors, Heather.


A great resource from Jocelyn


Wendy in RI calls this one "Snorkeling In Michigan"


A memorable advertisement from Lefty


Not the best panties for a see-through dress. From Caroline and Bubbasmom.


Paul D. got some troubling Ad Sense ads on his GMail

Vid Of The Day: After The Dentist

I got this from seven of you -- Paul, Michelle, Willie, Charles, Sarah, Regan and Kelly -- which made it last week's most popular submission. Thanks.


Craiglist Ad Of The Day: To The Woman Who Crapped In My Car

From Catherine and Lonely Planet Boy.


To the woman who crapped in my car… (NE Portland)


Date: 2009-01-25, 8:53PM PST

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling".

I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat.

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…touché…

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/m4w/1007823954.html


Prank Of The Day (video): Zombies Ahead

Last week's second most popular submission, thanks to Amy, Harmony, Mandy, Berit and Adam.

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