Classic TV Show Open Of The Day

I've posted this before but it's worthy of a repeat, especially after Izzy wrote and requested it. She says, "You must post Hawaii Five-0's opening! I've been enjoying some episodes from Netflix, and invariably I have to turn up the TV and play the opening a few times! Gawd, I'm still in love with Dan-o. And NO! I won't google him. Let me have him from 1970!"

As you wish, Izzy. It's one of my favorites, too.

Attorney Of The Day

If you're looking for quality legal representation (and some primo ganja), Sheila turned me on to her lawyer, Peter "P'Ta Mon" John. He's driving a Mercedes, so he must be good.



I'd love to see this guy in front of a judge. "Yuh honuh, mon, beg yuh let me bredda off wid da ol' slappuda riss, mon, 'im dont hed no chobble before and gwana beeda gud buoy now, yeh?"

Craiglist Ad Of The Day: Just F**k Me (NSFW)

This one's too long and too nasty even for LOTD (!) so you get a link instead of text. It's a good one, though. I might've even posted it before, but I don't think so. I would've remembered this one.

Just Fucking Fuck Me Already

Thanks, Toby, for the link.

21 Products Featuring Disembodied Boobs (NSFW)

Whoa. Ok. I'm a perv and all, but even I don't sit around thinking up crap like this. I like my boobs attached to a woman. On the other hand, these would make great gifts at your next office holiday party, that is, if you're trying to get fired for sexual harassment.

STRESS BOOBS

Yes, these will make you popular with the opposite sex. Get used to squeezing the hell out of them, then try the same thing on your woman's, preferably around her time of the month. Then, if you're still alive, send us a photo of your ass with her boot sticking out of it.

VIBRATING BOOB HAND MASSAGER

So lifelike.

FUZZY BOOBS

Real boobs should never be fuzzy. Pluck those things! Perfect for the guy who already has naked lady mudflaps.

BOOB CUSHION

"Put your head on my boulders/Hold me in your arms, booby"

BOOB NOTES

There's one guy in every office who would have these. It's the same guy who always tells you how nice you look today while he pictures you naked.

BOOB RADIO

Easy with dem tuner knobs, chief.

BOOB EGG FRYER

Unnecessary. Fried eggs already look like boobs.

BOOB PASTA

After it's cooked, it looks like your grandma's boobs.

BOOB REMOTE CONTROL

I like the buttons under the bikini bottom. It's like a Fembot's crotch.

BOOB SALT & PEPPER SHAKERS

This makes sense.

BOOB MOUSE

I'm not touching that thing.

BOOB CANDLE

Ouch.

BOOB WASHCLOTH

So guys can spend even more time washing their junk.

BOOB SLIPPERS

I've heard of wearing your heart on your sleeve, but never your tits on your feet.

BOOB SHOWER GEL DISPENSER

Because gel-oozing breasts are so sexy. Every time you use them, it'll be like your lady's silicone implant is leaking.

BOOB LAMP

Looks more like an ass with a couple of hemhorroids.

BOOB CAKE PAN

The best part of this is the label.

BOOB CAP

It really only works if your friend has one, too, and you walk side by side.

BOOB BEANBAG CHAIR

See, Justin Timberlake has one.

BOOB BEER TOPPER

Or a penis topper, if you're feeling like a dick.

BOOB BLINDFOLD

If I ever end up in front of a firing squad, I want these. They'll be laughing too hard to shoot.

Dead Celebrity Of The Day

Adios, Ricardo. Que es mas macho?


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There was no comment on Montalban's death from Herve Villechaize. But then, Herve is dead, which might explain it.