Speak of the devil, and the devil appears.
Let this be a lesson to all. Utter the name of the beast (C.D.) and suffer the consequences. LOTD house rule.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
A good find by TheMovieGuru, who says, "Dude... just look at this guy."
But there are three reasons I can't be too hard on Mr. Randy Van Warmer:
1. I like this song. But then, this shouldn't surprise you if you've been coming here very long.
2. I looked pretty dorky with my 70s glasses, too -- though not quite this bad.
3. Randy died of leukemia in 2004.
A couple of the links are dead, but the names are funny. I bet there are more of these out there. Anyone know of others like these?
From Paul at SeizeAdventure.
1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at: www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than Pen Island. It can be found at: www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at: www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then there’s the ‘Italian Power Generator’company. Check it out: www.powergenitalia.com
6. For IP computer’software, there’s always: www.ip_anywhere.com
7. And the designers at Speed Of Art await you at their wacky Web site: www.speedofart.com.
From Moviefone, their picks for the ten worst movies of last year.
I saw none of these, and hadn't even heard of some of them. What's funny to me is how the usual suspects tend to turn up in these "worst of" movie lists every year. I'm talking to you, Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers. And you, M. Night Shamalamadingdong. Maybe the three of you should get together this year and make the mother of all crappy movies. It could be about ghosts and aliens and mermaids and leprechauns and fairies, and then the twist at the end could be that you're all three really dead and in Hell, damned to an eternity of making bad films to endlessly torment the other denizens of Sheol. "I see fucked people. They're everywhere."
Did anyone see any of these? If so, do you agree or disagree with them being on the list?
10. MEET DAVE
Eddie Murphy plays the leader of a crew of miniature humanoid aliens who board a human-looking spacecraft (also played by Murphy -- shocker!) and head to Earth in the hopes of saving their dying world. Yes, it is as bad as it sounds. And if Murphy didn't have nightmare flashbacks to his notorious cinematic debacle The Adventures of Pluto Nash while filming Dave, you bet he has since the flick debuted to horrific reviews and a box office even more miniature than the film's alien stars. -- Tom DiChiara
9. THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE
It didn't take long to figure out which one was the hottie -- no, not because Paris Hilton is, like, the prettiest person ever. Because they made poor Christine Lakin (Al from "Step by Step"!) so ... not. But the pounds of makeup, prosthetic mole and yellowing fake teeth couldn't hide the movie's shallow plot and insipid lesson. Oh wait, it's about inner beauty? Nah, still hated it. -- Maggie Furlong
8. 88 MINUTES
Oh, Al Pacino, what happened? Once you were one of our most acclaimed thespians; now you star in swill like this "thriller," whose implausible storyline and ridiculous characters pale next to a performance in which you seem to be either half-asleep or yelling. And the worst part? The movie's 108 -- not 88 -- painful minutes long, which makes it both literally and figuratively the longest 88 Minutes of our lives. -- Patricia Chui
7. FOOL’S GOLD
Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson must've depleted their supply of chemistry with How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. We only say that because, well, there's zero sizzle in this loser rom-com, even with the sexy pair in skimpy scuba gear. And, as if that's not bad enough, there are enough offensive stereotypes -- ultra-effeminate gay men, criminally stereotyped rapper -- to keep everyone away. Fool's, yes, but Gold? No way. -- Angie Argabrite
6. SAW V
Grinding out five films in as many years has taken a toll on the blood-and-guts franchise. With villain Jigsaw pretty much out of the picture, the fifth-generation flick tries too hard to one-up itself with plot twists. Sure, there are still some cringe-worthy moments. But even if you're just looking for gore, it's a bit of a bore. The most torturous thing of all? Saw VI is already in the works. -- Katy Kroll
We expected more from director Doug Liman, who has helmed action gems like The Bourne Identity and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. But with its erratically incoherent storyline, mediocre special effects and laughable line readings by Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson, Jumper landed with a resounding thud. Too fast for its own good, it made us want to jump right out of a window. – KK
4. 10,000 BC
If there's non-fiction, fiction and science-fiction, than Roland Emmerich's awful wannabe blockbuster deserves a distinction all its own: We'll call it garbage-fiction. Like a Disney-fied version of Apocalypto (the plots are ridiculously similar), the film follows a prehistoric tribe on an epic quest as they encounter one historical inaccuracy and impossibility after another. And worst of all, it's boring as hell. - Kevin Polowy
3. DISASTER MOVIE
From Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the makers of Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans comes ... something even worse! The spoof "masters" hit an all-time low (if that's possible) with this rubbish, which doesn't even lampoon disaster films, it lampoons scenes from memorable (if completely random) movie trailers (Juno, Enchanted, Hancock). Apparently they're too busy collecting paychecks to watch full movies for ideas. – KP
2. THE LOVE GURU
Saying funny words like "Mariska Hargitay" with an exaggerated foreign accent -- hilarious right? Hardly. Mike Myers' new spiritual leader character left audiences subjected to blatant discrimination -- against various cultures, physical attributes and, worst of all, people who like laughing. Because even with a laundry list of (what-were-they-thinking) co-stars, the one thing Guru Pitka couldn't find was comedy enlightenment. -- MF
1. THE HAPPENING
Some jumped off the M. Night Shyamalan bandwagon as early as Signs, while others waited for the divisive Village or the roundly despised Lady in the Water. With The Happening, a laughable eco-horror movie with B-movie "shocks," C-grade acting and F-marks writing, that wagon seems headed straight toward the junkyard. The director's latest is a disaster movie in every way. – KP
This isn't the most obnoxious tour rider I've ever seen (Hi, Christina and Diana), but I seriously doubt that the VFWs and outlet malls where Chaka makes her magic can accomodate all these demands. Chaka Khan.. Chaka Khan...
From The Smoking Gun.
NO ALCOHOL! Save it all for the audience. They need it more.