Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Top Risqué 80s Movie Scenes Of The Day (NSFW)

From Maxim.com.

Porky's (1982)



Like Nerds, Porky's celebrates not those guys who actually get laid, but those guys who do things like peek through (or in some cases, insert things into) holes in the girls' shower wall. Any wonder we tend to relate to these guys more?

Fraternity Vacation (1985)



College guys pledge fraternities for one reason: The hope that their eventual trip to Daytona or Cabo or wherever will play out like Fraternity Vacation. Namely, an endless parade of feather-haired beauties with clothing allergies.

Twice Dead (1988)



This hidden rare gem features quite possibly the sickest 80s sex scene ever: A buxom hottie rides a dude on a vibrating bed, only to have the clumsy dolt spill beer on an exposed wire. He gets electrocuted, and she rides his squirming body to climax. Hot. And deadly.

Hot Dog: The Movie (1984)



In 80s terms, every single ski trip ever undertaken has devolved into an orgy of hot tubs and Playboy Playmates. Every. Single. One. Is it any wonder the sport became hugely popular all of a sudden? Sugarbush owes at least half of its earnings to this movie.

Police Academy (1984)



Ah, the infamous "podium BJ." Admit it, the first time you saw this movie you didn't quite get what that nice lady was doing to make that kindly old cop go cross-eyed. It's OK. You were young. Now, of course, no one of a certain generation can stand up and address an audience without getting a semi.

9 1/2 Weeks (1986)



The best use of food and a refrigerator since Zuul scared he bejesus out of Dana Barrett. 9 1/2 Weeks also harkens back to a time when Mickey Rourke played with leftovers, instead of looked like leftovers.

Revenge of the Nerds (1984)



Only in the 80s could a movie have you rooting for stalking and sexual harassment. The "nerds" unabashed violation of a sorority house probably created more freaky future online trolls than we care to think about.

Bachelor Party (1984)



For a movie about sex and debauchery, Bachelor Party is fairly chaste. That is, until Rick (Tom Hanks) discovers an ex waiting for him in the master bedroom. Moral conundrums don't look much better than this.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)



The be-all, end-all of 80s spank bank memories. Puberty began the second Phoebe Cates emerged from that pool. Later that night, we all played the part of Judge Reinhold in our bathrooms.

And a few that Maxim forgot:

Dressed To Kill (1980)



If you've seen the movie, you know that this is one of the tamest frames I could have possibly used from this scene.

Class (1982)



I never saw this movie. Had I known it included a peek at Virginia Madsen's world-class rack, I might've.

Friday the 13th (1980)



The good news: lots of people get laid in this movie. The bad news: they all die.

Private School (1983)



Lots of shower scenes, just like Porky's. And Betsy Russell's ass.

My Tutor (1983)



My grades dropped after seeing this. Hey, a guy can dream.

Summer Lovers (1982)



Two girls, one guy, all naked in Greece.

What others are missing?


14 comments:

  1. The Postman Always Rings Twice. Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange. Lots of sex, but you had to wade through all that plot and intrigue to get to it.

    American Werewolf in London. Great movie, great shower scene.

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  2. Roadhouse has plenty of humpin'. Like when Swayze fires that guy for doin his girlfriend doggy-style.

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  3. Right on, good call on both. I saw Werewolf on a first date in 11th (?) grade with a very straight Catholic girl and was completely embarrassed. Still liked the scene, though.

    Just saw Postman recently, and damn. I bet Jack could draw a picture of Jessica's ho-ho from memory.

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  4. He could at least sculpt it with his tongue.

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  5. just about every scene in Body Heat. The first time I watched it was on the Betamax when I was a wee freshman in high school. I remember feeling very naughty for doing so. I also remember wondering why the heck Kathleen Turner was rubbing her face on the mattress and liking it so much.

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  6. All I know is I was terrified forever after I watched Revenge of the Nerds because I kept trying to figure out if the whole camera thing was even possible. The idea of boys being able to watch you during your most private times is so unbelievably frightening. I still to this day have a fear of being watched in the bathroom.

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  7. "Mom always said don't play ball in the house"

    Does this tag line have anything to do with the influence these scenes would have had on teenage male hormones at the time?

    What did she say: 'have a cold shower instead'?

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  8. Flashdance, definitely. I remember watching the sleazy dance club scene when our parents were out of the room and getting chewed out for it.

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  9. I seriously think some of these movies influenced my sexuality. Heh. Boobies!

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  10. Same here, although I was pretty set by the time these came around. Animal House is another story. It came out a few years earlier. I was 13 or 14.

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  11. 1984 gave us Second Time Lucky, which was an embarrassingly bad film, except for the fact that Diane Franklin - the incredibly cute girl from Better Off Dead and Bill and Ted - ran around without any clothes on for most of the film.

    Ah, memories. They were so much more memorable when they weren't on demand quite so easily. You really hung on to the specifics when you had to work so hard to see them.

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  12. "Damage" has some really intense sex scenes, but the whole plot of the movie is really twisted and intense...but you see a lot of Ms Binoche.

    The mutual phone sex thing in "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" is amusing...Ms. Garaffolo had to get really drunk to act it out!

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  13. "First Monday In October" - Sure, it's a movie about Supreme Court justices starring Walter Matthau, but it contains a brief film within a film called "The Naked Nymphomaniac" that I used to watch obsessively. It was hot, and I think I wore out my parents' VHS tape.

    Unbeknownst to me, my dad edited our copy of "Revenge of the Nerds" to cut out the tar & feather scene, yet for some reason he thought the naked lady scenes were just fine & dandy! Go, Dad!

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