All photos (and a couple of the jokes) from Cavalcade of Bad Nativities. Many thanks to Todd for the link.
Mr. Bill Nativity. Oh nooooooooooooo!
O Little Village Of The Damned...
Owl Nativity. Hooo, hooo, whoooose child is this?
Nativity Ball 'n' Paddles. Hit the baby Jesus and you lose a turn.
Nativity At The Grand Ol' Opry
Nativity S'mores. Eat one. I dare you.
Santa and Joseph switched places this year. I hope Joe knows how to fly a sleigh.
King Herod's always after me Lucky Charms!
The Jesus In The Plastic Bubble
The Nativity Egg Timer. Counting down the minutes to your arrival in Hell.
Nativity Snowmen. Better get Baby Jesus into a refrigerated boxcar before he melts.
Giant Inflatable Nativity. Nothing tells your neighbors "We're religious freaks!" quite like it.
Nativity Candle, with the delicate aroma of livestock and afterbirth.
Jawa Nativity. "The Force is strong with this one."
The Spinning Nativity Ornament -- a gentle reminder that all the saints are spinning in their graves.
Joseph's about to high-dive into the crib.
Hobbit Nativity. The one ring king to rule them all.
Look at the dogs' faces. Even they know this is wrong.
Nativity Cats, every one of them plotting how to get rid of Kitty Jesus and assume power.
Why so glum, Nativity Bears? You were hoping for a fish?
Peace on Earth.. or whatever planet you come from.
Nativity Bean Bag Toss. Great idea - throw stuff at Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Away in an igloo...
"That's right. Father of the Messiah. WOOT!"
Jesus, Joseph & Marty. (From Craig B.)
I saved the worst for last... the Celebrity Nativity from Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in London. Featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Hugh Grant and Graham Norton as shepherds; David and Victoria Beckham as Joseph and Mary; Kylie Minogue as an angel; Tony Blair, Prince Philip and George Bush as -- cough -- Wise Men.
A month without ...
19 hours ago
Posts
I am officially in the holiday spirit now.
ReplyDeleteThink I'll sing a carol.
The fabulous thing about these (ahem) different strokes is that no one will shoot you for satirizing Christianity...
ReplyDeleteBesides, I get incredibly tired of lily-white nativity scenes with no more basis in reality than these...after all, the chances of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph being blond-haired blue eyes Wasps is pretty minimal...
Bring on Christmas. It just isn't jolly until I see these amazing crafts that show us the true Jesus spirit around the world. I especially like it when Santa gets brought in to the nativity scene and Marty too.
ReplyDeleteI'll be watching your sales side for the giant inflatable nativity. Gotta have one.
i think that last display explains the real meaning behind "Jesus wept". Posh Spice as the Virgin Mary? yikes.
ReplyDeleteLove the one with the aliens peering thru the window!
ReplyDeleteI laughed. I laughed again.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cary!
funny stuff. loved Marty,Santa and the aliens. Wonder how they came up with who would be the wax figures. Musta been smokin' something...none of them srtike me as holy material. Thanks!
ReplyDeletePrairie Girl says:
ReplyDeleteThis was one of the very first posts I every saw on this site a couple of years ago. I laughed so hard I stopped breathing a few times. I've been a fan ever since.
WV: bread
Hmmm something biblical about that.
And I thought our giant inflatable Santa was bad! Oh wait, it is.
ReplyDeleteDog nativity. *sigh* First they're playing poker, now this.
Poultry nativity answers the age old question: Which came first? The Messiah or the egg?
ReplyDeleteGood one, Margie.
ReplyDeleteI'll bet the kid on the right in the Giant Inflatable Nativity is wondering how far he can make Baby Jesus fly by jumping onto the inflatable manger.
I think Madame Tussauds was going for the vicious social commentary.
ReplyDeleteWe "do" bitter and cynical here quite well, in England.
My personal favourite is the rubber ducky nativity. Do they squeak, do you think?
rubber ducky, you're the one.
ReplyDeleteyou make my afterlife lots o' fun.
rubber ducky, i'm awfully fond of you.
Each year I think that my moose nativity will make the list and every year I'm spared! I did get SPOKEN TO by the mister when I refered to the baby as "baby Jesmoose"!
ReplyDeleteStacy, send me a photo.
ReplyDelete"I feel like Jeebus tonight, like Jeebus tonight!"
ReplyDeleteI keep imagining people sitting around a table in a meeting room of a company somewhere and discussing either making or marketing some of these products. A nativity scene egg timer? A paddle ball game? A bean bag toss? What made them think these things would be a good idea?
ReplyDeleteThe livestock and afterbirth scented candle caption made me laugh out loud.
Regarding the Chicken nativity... how did Mary Chicken have a baby "DUCK"?
ReplyDeleteHey, Cary, RTR!
this is why i like festivus.
ReplyDeleteI bet Graham Norton's thinking, "and why the fuck can't I be the Queen right next to these so-called Kings"
ReplyDeleteJesus, Joseph & Marty?!? Bahahaha!
ReplyDeleteThese don't phase me, when my boys, now 18 and 16, were little, I often found transformers and dinosaurs in my nativity scene, menacing the shepherds, attacking the Wise Men...
ReplyDeleteOh sure, fuck with the wise men.
ReplyDeleteWow! I was cracking up pretty good until I got to the leprechauns! Then I just lost it! I even detected the accent while I read it.
ReplyDeleteI have a "normal" Nativity set as well and have often come home to find the sheep humping.
ReplyDeleteCary, I'm kind of a techno peasant but I'll try and get you a picture
Oh, crap - I own and have made the gingerbread nativity. (hangs head in shame)
ReplyDelete