Friday, November 6, 2009

Top 10 Sexual Positions Of The Day (NSFW-ish)

A little sumpin'-sumpin' to get you all ready for the weekend.. wink wink... from FHM.com (UK), as voted by their readers. But how does one choose a favorite sex position? Isn't that like trying to pick a favorite child? In my book, they're all winners -- my book being a tattered little journal where I write about all the things I dream about but don't ever get to do. I sometimes make dirty little doodles in it too.

Pics and copy from FHM.com.

10. Classic Doggy Style



Every man knows that ladies love the Classic Doggy, be they good girls or bad. It always rates high in female fantasy lists and should thus be an essential part of your sexual repetoire. With both of you on your knees and her back arched, you can achieve super deep penetration as well as having hands free for the reach around and a little breast and clitoris caressing. Or if you want to rough things up grab a handful of her mane and reign her in.

9. Reverse Cowgirl



The position of choice for most porn stars thanks to its film-friendly focus, the Reverse Cowgirl guarantees ultimate pleasure for both parties while keeping any intimacy issues on the back burner. Facing away from and astride you leaves you open to kick back and enjoy the sight of a prime bottom giving you a knowing wink as she rodeos you like the Wild West. And with her hands free to caress her clit and nipples for heightened climax, all you need do is lie there and enjoy the ride.

8. The Plow



Perfect for the, ahem, lesser endowed gent, The Plow can deliver up to an inch deeper penetration than normal with the right application of pressure. On her back with legs resting on your shoulders and your arms tucked behind, this is a real 50-50 position that's intense, exciting and sweat-inducing in equal measure.

7. Side Saddle Cowgirl



As hot as a jockey who’s just run the Grand National, the Side Saddle Cowgirl is the ultimate variation on the Cowgirl theme. It also offers great profile views of your lady as she gets into her rhythm. Sitting sideways astride you, all you can do is lie back and watch while your girl indulges in the ride of her life. So good you’ll want to be ridden forever, but careful you don’t get too carried away – being saddle sore is a nasty thing.

6. Stand And Deliver



Best for couples of similar height. As intimate and personal as sex gets, your girl literally stands while you deliver with the added bonus of plenty of snogging, staring into each others’ eyes and the opportunity to get to grips with her bum and its infinite delights. The natural pressure this position exerts on her clitoris should also have her climaxing in record time.

5. Raised Missionary



The prime position for holding eye-to-eye contact. With back arched and all her weight on her heels and shoulders, you’re in perfect position to take total control and dominate her. It also leaves your hands to feel, fondle and fornicate the majesty of her breasts in complete freedom. Excellent.

4. Deep Dish



This one has the man doing most of the work, but unlike your 9-5 grind, it’s well worth the rewards. With the missus on her back, legs akimbo and her ankles firmly in your grasp, the view is nothing short of spectacular. And with gravity on your side you’re in total control to vary speed, rhythm, penetration.

3. Lazy Doggy



As simple as no-strings shagging can get, the Lazy Doggy is the perfect morning after activity. She lies down, you lie on top of her and the magic happens. All women love this position, as it’s apparently sensuous and slow and makes your man meat feel like an elephant’s leg with a pumpkin atop. It also leaves room for a little improv with your moves – the standard bump and grind is fine, but try some figure-eight hip action for guaranteed ultra-deep penetration and the kind of orgasm usually reserved for Christmases and birthdays.

2. Reverse Spoon



While it may look trickier than tying a knot with no thumbs, The Reverse Spoon is actually a one-way ticket to simple sex made sordid and stupendous. Lying head to toe and side by side offers immediate benefits in the staring at and fondling her nethers department while simultaneously showing off your experimental credentials. The kind of position you can only dream of ending up in after a booze-fueled game of Twister. Just remember to wash your feet first, unless you’re a ‘socks on’ kind of guy.

1. The Butterfly



To quote Muhammad Ali, this position will have her dancing like a butterfly while you, ahem, sting like a bee. The perfect position for any man who’s had one too many, is facing up to round three of the night or is just inherently lazy. Lie back, admire the view and think of England while she does all the hard work. And thanks to the deep penetration The Butterfly affords, you can both expect mind-melting orgasms aplenty. The ultimate viewing pleasure.


23 comments:

  1. Eric Idle had a pictorial of amazingly lame sex positions in Playboy years ago. It was called the Vatican Sex Manual and included one called 96. Kind of like 69, but facing away from one another.

    I don't know why this article reminds me of that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Is it wrong that my mouth is watering and my loins are pulsating? Hmm..yeah, that might be wrong.

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  3. It's a damn good thing I was about to hit the shower! Cold, please.

    I'd like to work wherever it is they consider this "NSFW-ish"! Sign me up!

    ReplyDelete
  4. In my book, they're all winners -- my book being a tattered little journal where I write about all the things I dream about but don't ever get to do. I sometimes make dirty little doodles in it too.

    Just as long as you stop short of tracing things Cary, it's all good...

    Oh and a word of warning to everyone out there regarding the "Side Saddle Cowgirl".

    Care must be taken in the dismount, unless you like spending the rest of the night with an icepack on your goolies.

    ReplyDelete
  5. poor sap in the mpotd must have seen these pics.

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  6. love, love, love the butterfly...

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  7. They need one called Dog & Butterfly. Not only could it combine the best of both positions, but it would be a nice nod to Heart. I bet Ann and Nancy would appreciate that.

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  8. "Dog and butterfly"--HA!

    The whole smorgasbord looks good to me.

    "makes your man meat feel like an elephant’s leg with a pumpkin atop"

    That image made me laugh out loud. :D

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  9. Mmmm, I like this post, and the Dog & Butterfly combo is a personal favorite of mine. Perhaps moving into Plow for the win....

    Too bad I can't use 'em this weekend. Maybe next. :)

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  10. Deep Dish... just like the pizza. Sausage pizza,at least that's was sis always said.

    I'm easy though, I'll go for most anything that involves me and a woman.

    WV - ratanti - what cats do at the beginning of a poker hand.

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  11. I thought for the longest time that sexual position was talking about the direction I was facing. In those days I was kinda partial to east.

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  12. Unlike these gals, I like to take all my clothes off, but that's just me. However, on the rare occasion I'm dressed up and wearing my "CFM" shoes, you better believe I'm keeping them on.

    And Cam is right about the dismount. I manned the ER admitting desk for years and checked in several poor, poor guys.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ...and now i can't get "barracuda" out of my head. thanks for that.

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  14. I am a regular here but anon for this one. Why do you post these Cary? my husband never wants to have sex. Well, maybe once every six weeks. After many years I've given up.

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  15. Yeah, Cary, shame on you. I'm sans gf at the moment, watching my 4yo play Sprout Online on the next computer, and you have to put this stuff up. A pox on your house.

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  16. Why are the men in all of these pictures wearing bras?

    I'm so confused!

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  17. I just added these to the spank bank.

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  18. *motions Frank over to her sofa for a sit-down and a wee chat involving some hand puppets and flip charts*

    I wish people would publish sex positions for pregnant chicks. The hormones are more than willing, but the mechanics are...strained. Only two of those positions are working right now, and it'll only get worse from here on in. Alas.

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  19. Wifey told me about these last night, right before.... um.... you know. She's a good lady.

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  20. SiressYorkie: pillows. lots of pillows.

    yeah, um, Cary, I could have used these more productively a few weeks ago, but that's ok. at least I have the hope of breaking 'em out again soon!

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  21. My apologies to all of you who aren't getting any right now. In times like these, I recommend a steady of diet of wank.

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  22. I'm Lost?? Perhaps I need a woman to take me by the hand...

    Guess I need to get out more.

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  23. I did not expect to actually be horny after reading this... excuse me for a moment...

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