Thursday, September 17, 2009

WTF? Fortune Cookies Of The Day

Funnies from Kelli T. and (where you will find more of these)

Have you been talking to my wife?

Shit, there go my afternoon plans.

Ok, so if I do not follow the instructions, which are not to follow them, I then should follow them, right? But if I do so, then I'm back to not following them, aren't I? I'm so confused.

Welcome to El Paso.

Whew, at least I'm not emotional.

... several able women who can do it better and with less bitching.

Sponsored by Jell-O.

That's exactly what Dad used to say.

Yes, please walk all over me.

Heh, so true.


Whew! I was worried.


  1. brings a whole new meaning to their interpretations if you add the words "in bed" behind each saying.....

  2. oh how i'd love to print and cut out multiple copies of the stupid one and distribute it to certain co-workers mailboxes.

  3. Oh yeah, we always add "in bed" to the end of fortunes. Good for a giggle. Love the captioning on the MSOTD! HAR!

  4. These are great, love the captions. MSOTD cracks me up, too!

    I have to know, is there really a "Dunkin Donuts Center" in Providence? Good lord, they really do own everything in New England.

  5. Here they have fortunes in English on one side, German on the other. The translations aren't always...erm...accurate...

  6. My boss has one on his desk that says "Ask your mom"


  7. "An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly."

    That one must be for me. I feel that way every day at the library. :D

  8. Get yourself a box of Playtex Sport tampons. Trust me.

  9. I keep a collection of fortunes (it's a disorder) and I've gotten the self-love fortune more than once.

    I enjoy the 'useful Chinese words' that they print on the backs of the fortunes, I have three taped to my monitor that sound out 'thirsty', 'beer', and 'excuse me'.

  10. Ok, you can kiss the elephant. But no tongue.

  11. That last one is my favorite. Reminds me of one of my favorite Family Guy scenes:
    "How do you know if you're Jewish?"
    "Are you Jewish?"
    "There ya go."

  12. Becky, wasn't that Brian's really intelligent girlfriend?

  13. When I was 5 my uncle had a fortune cookie that said, "There are green monkeys in your bathtub." We ended up making a fun game out of it, which is why I still remember the fortune 18 years later.

  14. Makes you just wanna make squares out of your mints just to see what happens, doesn't it?



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