Selections from Flatmates Anonymous, a website that collects belligerent, drunken, threatening and/or just plain weird notes left for roommates by roommates -- a specialized version of Passive-Aggressive Notes, if you will. They also have a book (see bottom).
Book available on Amazon.com:
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Roommate Notes Of The Day
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No masturbating? Wonder why.
ReplyDeleteI love the little heart on the fridge-pee. Like it makes it okay.
ReplyDeleteLove the t-shirt of the day. It's about time those pinatas fight back!
ReplyDeleteActually, Lefty, it said, No Masterbating.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it's like bear baiting only with those in positions of very high authority.
I like how it made self-love verboten but quite close by it said, "Come again!" I don't live there, but even I'm confused.
I never had a roommate I didn't want to throttle.
ReplyDeleteSiress: That is an important distinction that I'd missed. I'll never make a good law-talking person.
ReplyDeleteUmm. WTF? No masturbating in the bathroom? Would she prefer the common areas? Perhaps if it was spelled correctly.
ReplyDeleteOi, the energy sentence is a quote by Dylan Moran. :)
ReplyDeleteI've had roommates that were so scary and strange that I consider myself extremely lucky that they were not also violent.
ReplyDeleteI had one young man leave me a note that I shared with all my friends because I couldn't believe it - AND couldn't quite figure out.
neither could my friends. and then they felt sorry for me. win - win... not.
The only time I had the ill advised idea to get a roommate was out of sheer desperation.
ReplyDeleteIf I'd known then what I know now, I would have happily sucked off sailors at the dock rather than renting out the spare room.
My roommate of six and a half months managed to; rip through three sheets of drywall practicing his "karate" moves, accidentally left a plateful of food under his bed for so long it began to grow black mold on it, break two different shower heads because as he put it, "At the last place he lived they were detachable.", and as a capper he ran up a $600+ phone talking to his long distance girlfriend in California which he refused to pay.
After six months of that shit and so much more, one day he came home from work to find all his stuff laying in his parking space and the locks changed.
I asked the landlord before I did so, since he'd only paid for the first three months of rent anyway.
Never again....
I'm left wondering where and why someone would wear a dress made from condom wrappers.
ReplyDeleteThis also reminds me of a long winded message my college roommate left on our dry erase board one time. She wrote it after she had been out drinking very late one night. I couldn't tell you what all it said now, but she went on and on about the sex lives of the ghosts in the cemetery that was close to the campus. She was quite a trip.
I did a summer thing at American University in Washington DC one time in the 80s and my roommate, a student there, left every night at 11:30 for her coven meeting. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI had a bi polar roommate who repeatedly tried to kill herself by hanging, jumping out a window, and od'ing on anything she could find. I had to lock everything pointy or medical in my closet whenever I left the room.
ReplyDeleteI can only hope she succeeded in her quest at some point!
I don't miss roommates. Living in a houseful of boys, as I do now, is bad enough.
ReplyDeleteA friend and I sublet two rooms from our apartment one summer and got a couple of good-looking male grad students. Dan-Dan-the-Harvard man was probably the most fun roommie I ever had, despite the wadded up jeans and panties that we'd find next to our couch every. single. night.
We could've helped that girl out with her condom wrapper dress. Dan got AROUND... like a record.