Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Top 5 Slutty Wedding Dresses Of The Day

I like them all.

From Julie and Inventorspot.com. At least one of them is a REPEAT (gasp!).

Copy by "Beth" at Inventor Spot, not me. I don't know nuthin' 'bout describin' no weddin' dresses.

5. The Mariah

The Mariah Carey slutty wedding dress certainly doesn't leave anything to the imagination. Fully equipped with garter belt, stockings, and a main fashion piece better off worn under the dress or on the wedding night, this dress starts us off with its moderately tame slutty fashion.

4. The "Marry My Cleavage"

With so much cleavage on display, it's not hard to picture those breasts making an unplanned appearance during the wedding ceremony, perhaps right in time to say "I do." This woman will never have to ask her husband why he married her, because I think the answer's pretty obvious. But who did the groom really say "I do" to, the bride, or her cleavage that obviously took center stage at this wedding.

3. The Showgirl

This bride's slutty wedding dress is straight out of Vegas. This showgirl certainly wasn't shown up by her bridesmaids at her wedding wearing this poor fashion choice of an outfit. You may bare your heart on your wedding day, but it's okay to keep the rest of the anatomy covered.

2. The Hotpants Wedding Dress

There's nothing wrong with comfort on your wedding day, but this bride's slutty wedding dress would not even have been fit for the top of a wedding cake. It sure must have been a party at this bride and groom's reception, because her wedding dress is more nightclub material than preparing for holy matrimony.

1. The Bikini Bridal Gown

Many brides dream of a beach wedding, but most choose to go with a wedding dress that is more flowly than flimsy. This bride is certainly prepared for a post- "I do" dip in the ocean, and afterwards that will definitely take this slutty wedding dress to a whole new level that will better prepare her for her night of wedded bliss.


  1. Seeing these makes me wish I'd done things so differently.

  2. I'm sure the Marry My Cleavage must have had some adhesives used to keep the boobies from bouncing out to play. I guess it was a 3M wedding.

  3. Cary, you may not know wedding dresses, but you do know slutty.

    Samsmama, there's always "next time."

    I like the hot pants wedding dress, myself...

  4. If I am turned on by this post, does that mean I'm a sinner?

  5. I love the #3 showgirl dress, especially when you know the story, it's a family of irish travelers somewhere in london and they are teenagers, maybe 15 years old. You should see the rest of the wedding party, but especially the parents. It was in one of those british tabloids and they were bragging about the wedding costing over 100,000 pounds.

  6. Linda - was it Dexy's Midnight Runners?

  7. Hey, these women about to embark on a marriage to someone who is probably having doubts about their compatibility and long-term prospects for marital bliss know exactly how to prevent that fiancé from becoming a runaway bridegroom.

    The way to a man's heart is through the portion of the brain that short circuits all other thought processes when confronted with boobies.

  8. I kind of like the hot pants wedding dress. hahaha

  9. If I was built like that, I would wear any of those dresses all day long, every day. Except for #2 -- it just looks stupid. If she sneezes, it's all over.

  10. Poor Mariah. People hate on her so much. She should change her name to Pariah.

  11. Frank, I'm sure you'd look great in the hot pants dress! You're a cyclist, so I'd wager you have the legs to pull it off. ;-)

    Oh, Mariah. More proof that money just can't buy taste... or class.

  12. I might have the legs, Bev, but not the breasts. Maybe that's why people keep telling me to "grow a pair"?

  13. I was curious to know more about what LindaS said about #3. Here is the link from British tabloid magazine "Closer". The dress really is so much better when you have the rest of the story! I'm sure they'll have a long and happy life together...


  14. Thanks for that, Blair. The last two paragraphs are good.

  15. The informal definition of cleavage is "the hollow between a woman's breasts, especially as revealed by a low neckline."

    #4 bride does not have a low neckline that reveals cleavage, she has NO neckline. In fact pretty much the entire bodice of her dress is missing. That is not a "hollow" that is being revealed. That is more than a gully or a ravine too. I'd even go so far as to say it is not a valley. Indeed, that would have to qualify as either a canyon or a gorge.

    It seems to me that nearly all of the two mountains on either side of the canyon are also revealed. In fact only the very tiptop peaks of the "mountains" are covered by the white snow of her "dress."

    I agree with Lefty, those snow caps have to be held in place with some sort of glue or tape. I'm thinking that might hurt some when she goes to take it off.

  16. I'm suddenly reminded of Hippity Hops.

  17. Daisy, "Gully!" is probably what most of those guys said when she stepped out of the car.

  18. That whole traveler culture is totally bizarre. I can't believe that "dress" weighed 336lbs!

  19. I remember that traveler story. Hubby and I sat watching with our jaws on the floor thinking, "Damn...honest work just does NOT pay."

    I saw a good many travelers in England...and without getting too political, Blighty doesn't do a whole lot about it because (shockhorror) it would violate their "personal rights".

    With Chickie Poo #2, all I can think is that her boobies will have some very odd marks on them come morning. And that she doesn't look overly happy in that get-up.

  20. Hippity Hops---ha ha ha ha ha ha! :D

    Frank, "Gully" said in your best Gomer Pyle imitation, I suppose. ha!

  21. WHY?!?!?!

    *runs away crying*

  22. #4 - she's not the only one who bought that dress. That' right someone else did. http://tackyweddings.com/2008/10/15/tits-mcgee-gets-hitched-yet-another-uber-slutty-wedding-dress/

    #3 The full write up, a couple things, in Britain 15 is legal adult age, and caravan = mobile home.


  23. Traysh. Just... traysh.

    Samsama: ROFL @ 'Pariah Scary'

    Awesome post, Cary dahling.

    -Blammo, who sits around in her wedding dress weekly, reliving the *sob sob* glory days.



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