Thursday, May 7, 2009

My 24 Favorite Fake Names Of The Day

I'm a big fan of fake namery... or name fakery. I like making them up, and I keep a list of good ones I hear.

Here are 24 of my favorites -- some my own, some from other places (like "The Simpsons"). Most of them are dirty. Yes, I am familiar with Mike Hunt, Jack Mehoff, Ben Dover, Heywood Jablomie and all the other old-timers.

Thanks, Sheila, for the idea.

(In no particular order)
  1. Aiken Johnson
  2. Asta Spare
  3. Danny Fishcharge
  4. Erin Outtercooch
  5. Mr. Face
  6. Dee Lynn Quint
  7. Justin Sider
  8. Lou Stewell
  9. Shanda Lear
  10. Holden Milode
  11. Amanda Dumi-Endereer
  12. Sherwood Lovett
  13. Hope Uswaller
  14. Hugh Drack
  15. Anita Goodlay
  16. Nealon Licket
  17. Mike Oxtiff
  18. Maj. Lee Gay
  19. Chris P. Bacon
  20. Emersom Biggins
  21. Iva Woody
  22. Wilma Fingerdoo
  23. Ike Umlotz
  24. Aiken Balzac


  1. Here's a few more for you:

    N. Emma Dailey
    Drew P. Weiner
    Hugh Jorgen

  2. This list was so funny, Izheet M'Drawrz.

  3. I forgot Howie Felterpuss

  4. Mug shot of the day is baffling. Your comment is priceless!

  5. One of my best friends is named Jack Kiehnhoff (keen-hoff). No joke.

  6. First name Ben?

    thanks, Smama.

  7. You can't forget:

    Phil McKraken
    Phil McKrevise
    Barry McCockinher

  8. Shanda Lear is an actual name, and I also read about a couple who named their baby Drew Peacock.

  9. Sounds like the R-rated version of the closing credits on Car Talk.

  10. My all time fav.

    Ben Dover

    Last week in Florida driving on the freeway saw a billboard for a lawyer.

    Lou Stoolz

    Almost drove off road laughing.


    1. Lou Stoolz, that's awesome!!

  11. You've probably already heard of Ben Dover's sister, Eileen Dover. Another old one is Buster Himan.

    Ima Goodlay
    Peter Fitzgood
    Harry Bush
    Lotta Monen

    When I was a kid I knew of three brothers whose real names were Dusty Rhoades, Rocky Rhoades, and Bumpy Rhoades.

  12. Nice, but I like my version of Lou Stoolz better.

  13. I think Chris P. Bacon is my favorite. Didn't see it coming.

  14. I remember when my sister was going to finally tell me who she had a crush on. I had to ask her to repeat it three times before I finally figured out the guy's name was Mike Hunt.

  15. I forgot the Bettys:

    Betty Balzer
    Betty Duzzer
    Betty Lixor

  16. Lew Stewell was my fave on the list.

    "Plenty O'Toole? Named after your father, no doubt."

  17. Diamonds Are Forever. Not a great Bond, but a few good quotes.

    I like Wilma Fingerdoo best.

  18. Queen Kumanawanlei’iu

  19. let me preface this by saying i have very eccentric friends.

    one of my college friend's dad periodically did a drag routine, as an emcee for ugly pageants. his name, while in persona:
    Helen Bedd.

  20. excellent efforts, everyone!

  21. I had to say Amanda Dumi-Endereer about three times out loud. Now I can't stop laughing and sing-songing the name. Sigh...

  22. Thank you. Immodesty compels me to admit that it was one of my own creations.

  23. Amanda Dumi-Endereer, HA!

    Cary, my all-time favorite was when you called that lady who hurt herself masturbating, "Iva Coochwound."

    sometimes i just say that out loud and start laughing...

  24. Amanda was definitely my favorite on this list also...

    but I have to tip my hat to the SNL/DeNiro opening about terrorists. You've posted it before, you know just what I'm talking about. Mustaf Herod-Apyur Puupir.

    Yeah. I died.

  25. Danny Fishcharge I had to think about for a second.

  26. I said it over several times, but I still don't get Danny Fishcharge.

  27. HA! No wonder I didn't get it saying it over and over. :)

  28. Heywood Jablomie
    Oliver Klozov

  29. Hugh Janus - of course, you need to mispronounce the last name for it to work, but that's beside the point.

    As one who is easily amused, I'm giving the blog list and all the additions in the comments section an "A" for "awesome"!

  30. Stu Padaso


  31. My husband once worked with a guy named Richard Wacker. No lie. Strangely enough, he went by Richard instead of Dick.

    Also, I went to college with a Randy Fallus. And boy, was he ever!

  32. Ok, my aunt used work for the phone company taking payments at a walk up window. She used to have a list of funny names. My favorite was:

    First name: Rather
    Last name: Brown

    Extra points if you correctly guess which race box Ms Rather Brown checked off on forms.

  33. Bev, a local restaurant is owned by a guy named Richard Nutt. Strangely enough, he goes by Dick.

  34. FUCK! This post hurt my brain.

  35. There's the legendary Richard Head and a real politician called Richard Face - he gets both Dick Face and Mister Face.

    Wayne Kerr and Wayne King are giving it a tug.

    Iva Biggen sounds like bragging.

    Ima Carpet-Muncher works on the Isle of Lesbos.

    And the Korean fellow Wun Hung Lo has some medical problems.

    Do nick names count, like Britney 'Ice' Wallow?

  36. My brother has a list of these he uses when he calls my house. He usually identifies himself as one of these people.

    Pat McGroin
    Oliver Klosov
    Holden McGroin
    Phil McCracken

    He also used to work with a Richard Glaze who went by Dick. Yes, Dick Glaze. My brother's receptionist used to tell my brother, "There's a Dick Glaze on the phone."

    And my brother would think to himself: "Could someone please wipe that off?"

    Also: A newspaper around these parts once ran a photo of a bunch of high school kids and the caption identified them. The photographer got each student's name from each kid, and one told the photographer: "My name's Stuart Pidass, but everyone calls me Stu." So the caption underneath the photo identified this teen as Stu Pidass.

    Needless to say, a correction ran the next day.

  37. Stan Dup
    Sid Down
    Frank Enstein
    Pete Moss
    Marshall Arts

    and their buddies Neal and Bob

    The mayor of Crossfield, Alberta is named Phil McCracken (google it)

  38. Norma stitz
    Sophonda Cox
    Kraven Moorehead
    Dick Gahzina
    Mike hawke

    My fake name mount rushmore

  39. One I have never seen anywhere but is my favorite
    Mike Oxbigg

  40. You forgot one:Suque Mahdiq

  41. You forgot Hurtz Winapee and his brother Burnz. There is also Tillit Hurtz.

  42. You have to love this one: Dixie Normous

  43. what about

    Willie Fisterbut
    Candice and Willis Dikfit
    Ben Dover
    Mike Hunt
    I.P. Freely

    or have you guys read the book
    little brown mountain by Squat and Leave it

  44. Two that I heard on a radio station once was
    Anita Whiterbox
    Terra Hullenmae (Hole-in-me)

  45. Barry Macaulkener
    Howie Feldersnatch
    Mike Rotchizot
    Pina Slicker

    and a real name of a guy I used to work with, dunno what his mother was thinking - Oral Boner

  46. Barry Macaulkener
    Howie Feldersnatch
    Mike Rotchizot
    Dick Gozinya
    Pina Slicker



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